So I’ve been mulling over this post in my head for a while. And today I want to finally type it out and put it out there. I’m sure I’ll get flak for it. And that’s okay. Or maybe I won’t. Maybe those days are over. I noticed when I decided to step out of the spotlight a lot of the flak stopped. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I want to talk about the decision I made to pretty much fall off the face of the earth creatively and step behind the scenes.
And why, for me, it was the best creative decision I could have made.
But not the easiest. It’s hard to step away from something when it’s addictive. And being part of well known design teams can be addictive.
For about five years or so I was a part of some pretty well-known teams. Some really big and very much in the spotlight, some small. Some turned out to be lucrative gigs for great people who I am still good friends with and some did not. Some turned out to be disappointing.
And for a long time it was really fun.
It was fun being part of the trade shows and the galleries and the reveals. It was fun showcasing products I love. And then it got competitive.
I started spending hours on layouts. HOURS. Y’all…that’s not me. I was trying to teach myself to stitch and mist and be edgy. I would fret over how many gallery comments I got. I hated that I was never mentioned on the “which layout is your favorite?” threads and posts.
AND I HATED THAT I CARED.
I hated that I cared what others said about me. I hated that I was second guessing my authentic self. I hated that I was changing my style to conform. I hate that I just could.not.be.myself.
And the worst part was that I did it to myself. I allowed myself to get sucked into all of the stuff that doesn’t matter.
Because at the end of the day I had two rules:
1. Scrapbooking should be FUN.
2. It should be about telling my story. Leaving a legacy.
One day I “woke up” and realized those things had fallen by the wayside.
I also came to the (duh) realization that teams are meant to sell product. And simplistic heartfelt layouts might work beautifully and perfectly to tell my life story…but those types of layouts don’t move a lot of product.
Ouch.
Harsh but true. And y’all…once I made that connection I realized I needed to move on.
That was right around the time (a couple of years ago) the email came from MME. An email asking me to work for them behind the scenes, doing what I do now. It was a job I’d never thought of and one I frankly didn’t know much about.
And taking it was the best creative decision I’d ever made.
You see…I will never be one of those scrapbookers that is innovative. I don’t do techniques. I don’t want to change my style. I don’t.
I like my style the way it is. I like that all my layouts look the same. I like that my style hasn’t evolved. Because style doesn’t matter in scrapbooks anyway. Why did I start thinking it did????
Taking the job was a great choice for me because I was able to step out of the spotlight. But still flex my creative muscles.
Now I’m at the point where I’m doing some things publicly now and then. I might share a layout on Gossamer Blue. I still blog crafty things now and then. If the right (low-key, low-pressure, FUN) team comes along I might accept it. I’m at the point that I feel like me again.
For a while I hated the pages I was making. I salvaged the photos from most of them and threw them away. Many of them I re-scrapbooked in an authentic way. I made lots of pages I never shared.
I stepped away from the spotlight.
And validation.
And competition (much of it self-imposed).
You know the weird thing? It was a hard decision. And scary. Part of me worried that the creative world would end if I left. That I’d lose my scrapbooking “friends” and that I’d fade away. Yes. I know that is screwed up.
My world is not defined by being in a group of people. My world is defined by my family, the loves of my life. Creativity should make me more ME. Not take me away from them and make me less me.
And somewhere in the past couple of years I’ve come back to myself.
I’ve lost track of the ‘in’ products, the ‘in’ teams, the ‘in’ scrapbookers. And holy heck it feels good. Life is too damn short.
I knew better but I still fell in the trap.
Here’s what I’ve decided.
I don’t want to be “the world’s best scrapbooker”. I don’t even care if anyone thinks I’m “good”. I don’t.
I want to be me.
When Jimmy flips through my albums he gets a look on his face. It’s joy. He doesn’t give a flip if I use mist (well, if he found the layout the time I tried it he might actually ask if I cut myself and bled on the page b/c that’s what it looked like). He doesn’t know a doily from a veneer. But he loves seeing the things he missed.
So I’m back in the saddle with the right perspective.
1. Scrapbooking is FUN.
2. I’m telling my story and leaving my legacy.
The end. 🙂
xoxo
P.S. I want to add that I truly know many women that can do both. Produce work they love, be authentic, and have FUN with it…and be on well-known teams without falling into the validation trap. And that’s awesome. I wish I could have stayed that way but it just didn’t work for me.
I hear ya! I love that you’ve got your groove again! I wish I could get to the same point but I think I spend do much time overthinking things so much that I can’t even get started. I thought doing project life would help but that has just hot so over the top now that I have even stopped doing that so now I’m not doing anything and haven’t in months and months. I can’t wait to just let it all go and just relax and scrap like I used to. I’m hoping this is the year for it. Your definitely an inspiration!
Beautifully put Stephanie. Blogging as a whole can be a lot like this I think. So important not to lose sight of the reasons why, and to stay true to yourself and your beliefs. Your pages stay with me more than most because of the stories they tell. I have always loved your style, and I’m glad you’re sticking to it. Well done you for saying no and stepping away from the craziness. CJ xx
Love love love this post. You just have to be true to yourself, that is all that matters and thank you for being just that.
Props to you for stepping away, but not going away. I found you years ago when you’re blog was layout heavy. I’ve always loved your style — never thought your pages looked the same. But more importantly, I loved (still love) your journing. I am really excited about the idea that you’ve found comfort in who you are as a scrapbooker and am hopeful that means we’ll be seeing more layouts.
I just wanted to say that I enjoy your blog and your scrapbook layouts and I always have. I love that you blog and scrapbook from the heart. I love how thankful and humble you are and I enjoy seeing photos of your cute family! I think it’s cool that even though I don’t know you personally, I feel like I do. I’ve watched your family grow from what you’ve shared on this blog and in a way you feel like family. Keep doing what makes you happy! 🙂
AMEN!! Good for you and your creativity!
Thank you so much for this. Sometimes I feel really inadequate as a business owner in this industry due to my personal scrapbook style and desires. But at the end of the day the layouts I make are for MY FAMILY… Not my customers, fans, or followers. For years now you have been such an example to me of good mothering, optimistic living, and creative confidence. Thank you again girl, I’m so glad I found your blog years and years ago.
A great post! I love that you have found a place in the industry where you can flourish professionally and personally and creatively!
So very true!
Thank you for sharing this! I have been on this same exact journey for the last year and can relate to everything you said! It was your heart and your true voice that made me love your pages and your blog. I wanted to be able to tell the story the way you do! I don’t keep up with any scrap bookers anymore but I do keep up with life story tellers.
Be you. I’ve loved everything I’ve ever seen you do. I look up to YOU creatively. Just keep being you!
Perfectly said Miss Stephanie. Perfect.
i started off as a scrapbooker years ago, and left the scrapbooking world for that very reason, and never looked back.
Yes yes yes yes yes yes YES!! Good for you and good for saying so. This resonates with me so much. I started scrapbooking only a couple of years ago and for awhile I thought I would aspire to a design team. But I just couldn’t bring myself to use product that didn’t fit me (pink! ribbons! doilies!) so I made a conscious choice to craft when I wanted and in the way I wanted, and once I’d made that decision I felt such joy in creating again. Now I’m back to using bold colors & lots of black & sometimes no photos at all and I love it! I’m astounded by all the ways I’ve et the enemy convince me that people’s approval matters more than God’s. It’s so freeing to recognize that lie and refuse to live by it. So proud of you and joyful that you had the courage to go YOUR way instead of someone else’s.
I love reading your story. It’s amazing how what started out as a hobby for people can turn into something else quite drastically and quickly for some scrappers. Just like you said, with the self-imposed comparisons and all you mentioned above. Sounds like you’ve got a great perspective on it all now and have found your new happy place in the industry. I’ve noticed a change in me over the past year, defining more of my style simply by creating from the heart and being my original self. Also, choosing opportunities that are a good fit (not forced) for me and the company. I think that’s critical to my personal happiness while also helping the company achieve their goals. Much happiness to you and thanks for sharing.
Yay! This is a beautiful post and very inspiring.
Love your honesty Stephanie! my friend makes fun of me (jokingly) because I love certain products or use the same simple, graphic style over and over again but it’s what I love. Thanks so much for sharing.
Yippeee!!! I am glad you didn’t give it up altogether, just found your voice again and decided to speak it LOUD and CLEAR!!! Good on you and I still want to see shares…….I love seeing your layouts of your girls and Jimmy!!!
I too relate to this post. Other than a few blogs I still check once and awhile, I’ve walked away from online scrappy land. I’m much happier these days when I do make something, because it’s for me. For my story, my world, my creative outlet, not for praise or comparison. The best part of your creations has always been your authenticity and the heart that you wear on your pages.
I love this post! Good for you. I had something similar in a much smaller scale. Was never published but at one point for me it became more about the trend and the product than the photos and memories. So I quit cold turkey. I was completely put off it. Then I discovered the Smashbook. It worked for me. It was just about the memories and the photos. I went back to what I liked. I add stickers (even the old ones that are not trendy). I play with my pages and I am really having fun. Everything from adding napkins or fold out maps. Whatever I want, because in the end… it is my book. It is for my family. I am very proud of you. You rock girl!
Thank you for your blog. Love seeing your life through your eyes. Hugs to the girls.
Those of us who read your blog everyday KNOW how awesome you are. The scrapbook industry is a machine, and you’re not- glad you are happy where you are at. Love all you share- every time. Please keep at it.
I just love reading your blog and all about your family adevntures and the occasional scrapbook pages are awesome! Be happy and love yourself and everything you do first. Grace xoox
AWESOME POST!!!!!
I have always wanted to be on a ‘team’, to be able to keep up w/the new trends, & goodies coming out but after reading this, I am so much like you I would end up hating it & I don’t want to do that! I too, get sucked into unintentional competition trying to stay current & do not do techniques as they are popular, so I will just keep on creating what makes me happy & move along 🙂
THANK YOU for keeping it real!
Lovely post. So glad you’re in a happy place creatively. Thanks so much for your honesty.
I feel like my style has evolved since I started (and wanted to do every trend) and I’m happy that I have settled in a comfortable, non-trendy place. I changed kit clubs (no stores near me) and it was freeing. I was in a very trend heavy club and the stuff just wasn’t me. I actually have GB now and love it. It’s me.
This feels like scrapbooking therapy, ha! 🙂
You are so precious. Once again your thoughts and words resonate with me. My layouts tend to look the same, lots of layers of paper and some embellishments….I thought I was doing it wrong. How can it be wrong if it’s what comes out of me, naturally? Your style is yours, and one that I adore. Continue be you, the one that the creative world (and all others, I bet!) has fallen in love with, and we’ll keep reading your blog and singing your praises. Hugs to you!
100% understood! There was a while when a buddy and I did daily challenges, and we realized that we were spending a lot of time, sometimes stretching beyond what we “liked” to do as cardmakers, just to see how many comments we could get. Creating within guidelines, then getting a decent photo, then blogging and uploading…all of that is amazingly time consuming.
So glad you are happy! I now get extreme happiness from my 9 year old looking at scrapbooks and asking questions…a lot of them! There is the audience I seek!
Bravo to you, sweet Stephanie! I loved this post. I, too, am not into the newest techniques / crazy new products. I find that trying to incorporate them into my layouts is so overwhelming that I become paralyzed of messing up… and end up creating nothing at all! Glad that you’re being “true to you!” Scrapbooking should be FUN…. I’m so glad you’re having FUN again!
Oh, I love that you are finding what works for you! (And I continue to love your honesty.) You are a treasure!
Awesome post!! Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing your thoughts.
Fantastic post. This is exactly how scrapbooking should be. I don’t worry about buying the latest collection unless its something I love. In 5 years when someone looks at the layout, they aren’t going to say, “do you realize you made a layout in 2014 using 2010 papers?” I don’t mist, I do a little faux stitching, real stitching would be so ugly to me.
I wouldn’t know a scrapping trend if it fell on top of me, I like to do what I like and thats how it should be. So glad you found yourself again and love scrapping again. Way to go.
I found you through scrapbooking years ago, but what has kept me here is your heart. The fact that you honestly share your thoughts and feelings about life, the fact that you see your girls as amazing, individual little people & you want them to grow up into amazing adults. You, bleed your heart onto this blog and don’t make a apologies for who you are or the choices you make when it comes to your family & you do it all with grace and elegance with a touch of silly & clumsy… Which who I believe you to be in real life. 🙂 I know you don’t share everything here, but what you do share makes me feel good about the human spirit. There are great people in this mixed up, crazy world we live in & you are one of them. By the way… I have three cute southern boys (11, 8, & 15 months) who we are attempting to raise into amazing Christian, southern men… you know in case you’re into match making when they are older… 🙂
Stephanie Howell, I love you! You are the most honest,open,creative person I know. Your layouts are beautiful loving heartfelt slices of your life. Your journaling never fails to either make me laugh or cry. Your children & Jimmy will never doubt how much you love them. Please don’t change a thing!
This makes me sad, because I LOVED your DT work, and I miss it! I’m sorry you found it to be cutthroat. Glad to hear a return to your scrappy roots is working best for you all, though 🙂
Thanks for sharing and, great job!!
one word: PERFETTO! you got it! I LOOOOVE you!!! Be VERO you! 🙂
Thank you for this reminder! I love your scrapbook style! You are amazing!
Wonderfully put! Such a good reminder for all of us!
Good for you for being true to yourself!
Great post, and kudos to you for realizing what works for YOU and running with it. p.s. I love your scrapbooking style-your pages are just beautiful! 🙂
I am clapping and saying “AMEN” to this post!!
Consider yourself as getting a standing ovation. I LOVE this post. So real and so from the heart. Welcome back to reality. LOL I love the real you, the scrapbooking is fun you!
I started following blogs because this scrapper led me to this scrapper–prob some were on design teams. I have thought it would be great fun to work in this world, but later saw exactly what you describe. I now follow the ‘scrsppin families’ i have grown to love and admire OR those w/ GENERIC scrapping helpful hints. Rarely follow design team scrappers although I agree you can’t put them all in the same mold.
Well said!
Fantastic post! I started down this path & circumstances changed & I am so glad they did. I ended packing up all the scrapbook supplies & they went into storage for years. I just pulled them out about a year & am getting inspired to create 🙂 I fell in love with Project Life & have been doing that for myself & my family. The whole trend of the newest, greatest, most popular “whatever” has taken away from the entire reason so many of us started to scrapbook in the first place. I am glad to find my way back to doing this hobby “my” way 🙂
Thank you for this post. I stopped scrapbooking last year for the exact same reasons. I wasn’t enjoying it. It was too much pressure to produce. Too many Design teams. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to get back into it. So many stories that I want to document. But I still feel that need to do it a certain way or use the trendy stuff. Just need to let it go. Though often times now I much prefer to spend time with my family instead of recording the time we have together. Someday I’m sure I’ll find balance with it all. Thanks for your open, honest, heartfelt post.
Thanks for sharing your heart! I think so many can relate to what you have experienced in the industry. I have slowly been getting myself to the point where I am only committed to creating when it is fun for me and I don’t see it as an obligation. I want to create because I want to not because I HAVE to. Gossamer Blue has been such a blessing for me too. I look forward to creating with Lori’s kits so much. And I very much enjoy seeing your pages!
I love this post! And I am happy for you that you’ve found yourself again.
I’ve never been on a design team for precisely this reason…I know my story-centric style just doesn’t sell a lot of products. Sometimes I get a little, gah, dejected? maybe, about my very small successes in the SB industry. Then I remember I decided to only do what I love, which is teach, and write. I’m not good at just products, and that is OK.
I love this! I’m so glad that you’ve found yourself again. I’ve always loved your work, but the fact that it was from the heart and so personal, not what product you were using. I’m always amazed at your ability to put it in writing! I think a lot of us have gone through this transition. A few years ago I felt myself getting sucked into the popularity and it made me feel horrible about myself.. I hated that, because I love to scrap and I didn’t want that getting ruined. So I quit trying to be successful and I did what ever I wanted. I never lost my love and that’s what I wanted. The teams I’m on now, came to me, and they are genuine and I love them. I will never go looking again. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Now, this is what I call a blog…no apologies for being you, the real you! How many of us can say that?
Thanks for a great blog…hooray for you!!!
Perfect! You rock, my friend!
Thanks for your heartfelt honesty. I hope that you will continue to blog! I love
to follow your blog.
Keep on scrapping …..your style is not important…..it’s the story. It’s always the story. Your family has so many new experiences to document, savour and remember. Best wishes to you.
Love the words and emotion in this post and have always loved you and your layouts. You have always been one of my top scrap girls because I could see and feel your heart for your family in your layouts. Kudos to you for following your heart and knowing what works for you! Enjoy your family and keep sharing just the way you are!
What’s so funny is that I’ve always thought of you as the ‘in’, trendy scrapbooker, even a celebrity if you will! One of my best friends lives in Newport and everytime I would go visit her I would always think “what if I ran into Stephanie Howell? What would I say? Would I even have the courage to say hi?” Lol! I’ve always loved your layouts and WISH you would share them more often. When you went on a hiatus I kind of did, too! I lost my inspiration! Don’t underestimate your celebrity status but definitely continue to be true to your scrapbooking style! 😉 And please, start sharing your layouts again!!!
bravo!!!
and PS one of the only times i used mist it was red (who does that on their first try???), and my husband asked “is this blood? what is this?”
My grandma always said – Be true to you and yours. That’s all that matters. 🙂
I get it! For years I thought I was only a good scrapbooker if I was on design teams(which I was) or published (did that too), but then I realized once I started having kids that what was most important was that I remembered the story of their birth, or their first tooth…and that they wouldn’t give a crap whether mama got free product or had a page in a magazine. I got rid of 99% of my scrap booking supplies and do pocket style scrapbooking and once a year do a hard bound book for my family. I actually enjoy it again and don’t feel the need to do a page a day. Now instead of feeling pressure to get my pages done, I enjoy the moments that will one day, sometime down the road be a part of our albums…
Wow, that was wordy, but you perfectly expressed my feelings about scrap booking and what it means to me too now!!
Yes yes and YES!
Dawn
dmg314
Although you don’t share many lay outs anymore you have always been and will always be my very favorite scrapbooker. Not just because of your amazing layouts, you are a special, beautiful person.
You are Awesome!
Girl, I wish I could give you a hug and a high five!!!!! That is my philosophy regarding scrapbooking- 1)fun and 2)telling the stories. My layouts aren’t full of the latest techniques or products. Many times I have tried to make them look like the latest “style” and they don’t come out that way. I’d fret for DAYS about a single layout so that it looked trendy and would be accepted for a design team. Pretty soon, I found myself getting frustrated and started losing the joy of crafting. Then the light bulb came on and I reminded myself that this is for MY enjoyment and to share my legacy with MY loved ones. So Stephanie, I give you props for sticking to YOUR style and for your honesty.
THIS post is why I love you so darned much!! I absolutely love your honesty and just being REAL with us all. I ALWAYS read your posts and rarely have I ever posted a reply but darlin, my hats off to you!! You are such a breath of fresh air. Honest to Pete. I just love you.
So my personal request is that you show more pics of that hubby of yours. He is adorable with your girls.
Steph, I really enjoyed your post. To be honest, this was me. I got involved in DT’s for kit, online stores, and manufacturing companies. After a while I felt like a scrapbooking robot. There was so many packages coming to my house I didn’t know where to start. New technique here, use more new product here, due dates, etc, etc, etc. Guess what…I left them all behind. Yes it was hard at first but I don’t regret it now. Going back to those layouts now, I too took the pictures off and started over so I could tell my story and not sell the products on the page.
Thank you for being you and telling your story. You truly are an inspiration to me (not because your a scrapbooker, because you are a wife and a mom!)
Thank you, thank you for sharing this post! I relate to so much of what you wrote and have just recently re-embraced that scrapbooking should be fun and should be true to me.
Love this honest post! Truly, many of us fellow for fun scrapbookers questioned, silently to ourselves, if you were pimping your skills out. It seemed like every other week, you found a had to have must try to get us to buy favorite product or manufacturer or kit club. It came across inauthentic which was contrary to who you put forth in your blog before getting caught up in the hoop-la.
You are a busy, busy mom and wife living in a foreign country…envelope that and live everyday to it’s fullest…scrapbooking will be here when this season of your life is over. If you don’t have time for it right now…you know what- that’s OK!! It’s better to put it on hold than post pages on your blog that your heart is not behind.
No hate here at all…just loving your honesty.
Good for you for putting this out there! However, I never thought you changed your style to fit a mold. I’ve always admired you for making every layout look like your own personal style, even when trying to showcase “latest and greatest”. I love how you can make a doily look right on any layout! I’m just your average scrapbooker and blog lover. I have no actual need to use only the new stuff however I used to think I couldn’t use old supplies because it would date my layout. What??? In 25 years, my kids and their families won’t care if I used a pre-cut border from 2003 on a pic from 2013. This has been freeing for me. And if every layout has a grid and border punch than so be it! Thank you for keeping it real and sharing your beautiful girls with us:)
yay for you to be brave and authentic! i love that your posts always challenge me to be a better person 🙂
Way to go girl! I love the you that you are!
I do not work in the creative industry but the problems are the same. You gotta do what they tell ya to do. So your work cannot be your hobby. Unless you can somehow separate them. But real scrapbooking is for the memories. But to then do it for payment, well, gosh, you would need two separate work spaces I think. This would help mentally…separating out the distinction. I do have fun with the new techniques. But I know that family looking through those memories really do not care about mists and such. So I decided I had to maintain the integrity of the photos as much as possible. So everything else comes second. AND I am looking for a job. And I have been making critical choices too. Part of LIFE I guess. Being in the public eye, one would have to have a thick skin. I think you are managing quite well.
Thank you for sharing your heart. It makes me feel so much better that I am just not a mister, huge embellisher or that it felt ok to use paper from several years back. You said it all so well. Even when I look back, I won’t remember if it wasn’t the paper or embellishment of the moment. Thanks for making me think about this. Martha
Amen. You said it all and there is nothing for me to add. I, too, have fallen into that trap – my OWN doing – and I’m working on ME and my attitudes to get myself FREE.
Amen.
Well said Stephanie….when I started scrapping I only had one kit my sister gave me as a gift and I loved it, but then it took on a life of its own. I felt I needed more tools, kits, embellishments, etc. Its addictive to say the least you watch the 24 hr craft days on the shopping channels and everything looks so easy that you just need to have it all. I have even tried Project Life thinking it would simplify things but even with that I am always looking to compare my pages with others. Now I’ve decided to just do my own thing and not worry about how it should look or what I should use. I’m keeping and using only the supplies I really love and getting rid of the rest. It’s easier on my brain and my wallet. Scrapbook is a way to document your life and the memories you choose in your style, for your family to look back on. I have piles of albums I’ve made over the years and my kids (29,26&22) are always pulling them out to look through and that’s what its all about! Debbie
I read this post the other day but am just now getting a chance to sit and write a comment. I think it’s really awesome that you were able to figure out what you needed to do to make your hobby something you love again. And even more fantastic is that you are still able to work within the industry without the pressure you were feeling before. I’ve always loved seeing your scrapbooking because it is so purely authentic, and I find that super-inspiring. I don’t always comment, but I always enjoy seeing your creative projects. So keep doing what you love– and if you feel like sharing, know that there are people out here who just love to see it! 🙂
P.S. I may have caught your doily fever. I just ordered a case of doilies the other day… because it was cheaper to order 1000 than a smaller quantity. Haha! ::blush::
I totally understand! I had boxes full of photos and an entire ROOM full of product and NOT ONE complete scrapbook. I finally realized that it’s not about the layout being perfect, it’s about getting the pictures on the page and in the book, so that we can look and remember as a family. Once I got that through my head, I completed about 40 pages in one weekend! I am now doing all of my memory keeping Project Life style because it is so easy.
*like* 🙂
I so appreciate your honesty! I have been a fan of yours since finding your blog right after Sadie was born and I love your style (dang if I didn’t fall into your doily trap too lol) and more importantly, your stories. I remember you looking for blue bonnets to take the perfect pictures of the girls, your being lonely while J was deployed and your many junking adventures in Texas. Your stories are ones that I passed on to my youngest when as a new wife of a soldier and mommy to back to back babies, one while daddy was in Afghanistan…she needed to know that she would survive and thrive and your stories helped, more than you know. Your voice and passion for so many things outside of scrapping are the reasons why I love reading about your journey. You have so much talent, so much love for life and your family…your beautiful, heartfelt layouts to me are just icing on the cake. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us.
I love your style. And it’s because you stay true to yourself that we love you, Keep doing what you do!
I can relate to so many of the points you raise here. A friend of mine referred me to this blog post because 3 months ago I stopped scrapbooking. For 6 years scrapbooking was a HUGE part of my life. It consumed me. I did feel that the only way I could be validated as a successful scrapbooker was to be on design teams. I stressed over how many blog hits I had. I stressed over how many comments I had AND I hated that I cared. Late last year I had my own duh moment when I thought why am I doing this to myself. Why am I doing something that is making me feel inferior and miserable. So I stopped. I don’t blog hop anymore and I don’t feel the pressure to make sure I visit blogs anymore. I closed my blog and don’t feel the pressure to keep it buzzing and I’ve stopped worrying about hits and stats and comments. My scrapbooking friends are still there, well the ones that count anyway, and they don’t care that I’m not scrapbooking. We are friends purely and simply because we enjoy each others company. I recently got rid of most of my scrapbook product. I didn’t get rid of all of it though. Never say never! But I know that if I ever go back to it then it will be for the right reasons, the pure fun of creating – doing something for me that also documents those moments that might otherwise slip into the forgotten. I am glad that you have found your happy place. This is a hobby that has the ability to make us feel so completely inadequate, which is a shame, so for you to have found your happy medium where you ENJOY what you do, that is a great thing! I said to friends last night, I don’t for a minute regret my scrapbooking journey but I know that at the moment this is the best decision for me. And I am happy :). Thankyou for sharing your thoughts about your own personal journey.
Life is too short sums it up completely. The hardest decisions in life often involve putting yourself first and acknowledging how you truly feel. Keep pursuing what make you happy.
Brave and beautiful. I <3 you!
Your post couldn’t have come at a better time for me! I had a horrible day at scrapbooking with a small group that tries to meet monthly for an all day Saturday workshop. I got my feelings hurt pretty badly over a 2 page layout I had spent a good 40 minutes on. There was dead silence when I held up my work. The comments (“oh, ummm…that looks interesting”) came but the damage was done. I was quiet the rest of the day and when I drove home I thought that all those pages I had worked on would need to be reevaluated & redone. That maybe I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. I like simple pages, don’t use tons of product & have been happy with that. I have gotten compliments from family & friends but today, when even the (expert) woman who hosts the crop workshop said nothing about any of my pages except to note that the blanket in one of the photos was pretty, I was crushed. Then I pulled up your blog and read your beautifully written post & felt so much better. Who cares if they hate my color choices, arrangements, photos. This is about my memories & my family. I am going to keep doing what I’m doing because it is fun. Today was not fun. What I will change is the place I scrapbook–staying home for now! Thanks for your honest and heart felt posts. I admire you and your style in every thing you do.
I think you are just awesome! I try to read your blog (I love the pictures, especially of the girls) on a regular basis. Do what makes you happy.
This is exactly how I felt! I gave it up too and feel like I am finally back to where I need to be – creating for me and my family! Thanks for sharing xx
I love this post and it is so true. I think many people struggle to find their own style that makes them truly happy. New products come and go and can be tempting however everyone has their own unique style. I love your style and love seeing pages when you share them. In the last 18 months I have switched to mainly digital project life and love this style. It is me and that’s what is important. My family love seeing my pages and memories are created and saved.
It is good to hear that you are where you want to be. At the end of the day it is about making and capturing memories for ourselves and our families. Remember, your photography speaks volumes about your style. You have always stayed true with that and taken us on all your adventures….without washi tape or mist! Thank you for that.
I applaud you! Way to go on being yourself! i think you are great! I have always enjoyed your blog and your layouts.. & watching your kids grow up. sweet family!
Way to go! Beautiful post, you’ve got an amazing team of supporters here right behind you. Victoria 🙂
Not that it really matters… but your gallery was always the FIRST gallery I would look at every month on Studio Calico. I was so bummed when you announced you were leaving their creative team. Although you might not always be on top of every trend, what I’ve always loved about your layouts is that they have your own unique style. I look at your layouts and think “that is so Stephanie!” That is a compliment and it is great to have your own style, regardless of trends and techniques!
I love this…
1. Scrapbooking is FUN.
2. I’m telling my story and leaving my legacy.
You’ve summed it up perfectly – this is why I scrapbook XX
A friend shared this post with me and all I can say is THANK YOU for writing, for sharing it.
Stephanie, I just had to comment because I want you to know how much your work was appreciated….I have scraplifted more of your layouts than any other designer, and they are some of my favorite pages in my scrapbooks. 🙂 I’m glad you did what you needed to do for yourself and for your family.
Love your words because they are so honest and transparent. I love that you prioritize and find the right thing for you. I have followed your blog for such a long time but it isn’t just about the scrapbooking which drew me here, it is the way you write, the words you share, the realness.
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Hi! I rarely comment, but I feel I need to let you know that I don’t read your blog because of the scrapping posts— I read because of your authentic, inspiring writings about everyday life. You and your family seem lovely and I enjoy hearing about your adventures 🙂 The scrappy stuff is just a bonus, and I’m glad to hear you are being true to your style. I had the same epiphany when I changed to a Project Life style album. Enjoy!
Good for you!!! You must be true to yourself and no one else. Amen.
Good for you!!! I love looking at simple layouts…when I look at really busy layouts I have to look hard to find the picture..and the story…my pet peeve is cutting up a perfectly good picture to fit into pocket page protectors!!ARRGGH!! I have tons of stuff in my craft room I haven’t used in a long time as I have been doing Project Life to get my pictures into an album..I put almost all of my pictures in…I want them all in albums and not in boxes..i also make traditional layouts and put them in the same album…my latest thought is to take a piece of 12×12 paper and use the same layout as a Project Life pocket page and then slip it into a 12×12 page protector in the album..using up some of my 12×12 stash and saving $ on pocket page protectors…
yes, scrapbooking should be FUN!!!
Thanks God for Stephanie Howell!
You’re honesty has made me realize exactly why I never want to be on a DT; I scrapbook for ME and for FUN! The minute it becomes a job/chore/hard work, game over. I love the fact that if I don’t feel like scrapping for months on end (like now – I’ve been working on the same layout for 3 WEEKS) I don’t have to.
So let the good scrap times roll 😀
You do not have to apologize for anything. I did the same thing…walked away, took a step back, for other reasons but I needed to do it. And it wasn’t until I was at a crop last weekend that I realized how out of of touch I am with all the ‘new goodies’. I’ve found a company I love that fortunately puts out a lot of new product often and though I’ll never own all of it (which I used to try to do) I am now selling off a lot of my tools and papers that I know I’ll never use. I’m getting back to the basics and enjoying it again.
I am grateful for this hobby and industry because it has allowed me to meet some amazing, wonderful people, including you.:) I can’t imagine my life without it completely. But I’m happy with where I am now.
I so love this post Stephanie. And I’m so glad that you shared your thoughts on this subject with all of us. I couldn’t agree more with you. It was liberating when I realized it didn’t matter what anyone but ME thought of the work I was doing. It’s supposed to be for FUN and to tell a story. Once I realized that…. guess what? I got done 70% of my long lost Disney World scrapbook and it’s almost done. It’s not trendy. It’s not cool by gallery standards. But guess what? I don’t care. All that matters is what you said — that we can look through it and remember how much fun we had. That my nephew and niece can flip through it and see a story. Most important? That it will be done this year. DONE. It wouldn’t be if I cared what others thought… oh and gasp… I used STICKERS. LOL 🙂 Bravo to you for sharing your story… I loved EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. 🙂
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You……… What a beautiful truth spoken.
Bet you never thought there were that many people that were feeling the same way. 🙂
I love reading your blog and hearing about your wonderful family. Your authentic stories are what it is all about! Thanks for sharing!
You are one amazing woman. Inside and out. Muuuuwah with a big hug too!
Good for you. That’s what I say on most of the scrapbooking blogs. Scrapbooking is about telling your story. Using mementos and pictures to weave a quilt of your life. It’s shouldn’t be about cramming the latest and greatest on cardstock.
Stephanie I have always loved reading your blog. Your beautiful layouts always inspired me and your sweet family is a treasure. Yes I will admit that I have scraplifted many of your layouts and let me say I have lots of yellow and grey lullaby thickers because of you. Please stay true to yourself. BTW…the bluebonnets are beautiful here in central Texas this year.
This is such a wonderful post. Scrapbooking should be about the memories, and it should be your style, and what you like, not what you “have to do” because you’re promoting a product. I love this post. 🙂
No flak here! This post I think is spot on for a lot of scrapbooker a including myself. 🙂
I won’t ask you to sew, if you don’t ask me to scrapbook 😉 We each have our own enjoyment. I love to design. I love to teach. But I am not good at competition. I hate it when I am not one of the chosen ones. But I still create. I have one heck of a Grandmother’s Hope Chest. You will have something for your family to keep too. Love you, Steph! And the Chicklets and J.
maggieb!
Love it, I can resonate with that. There was once that I got sucked into the whole, “must make it on a DT” race and I got burnt out. Scrapbooking should be enjoyable and joyful. Keep doing what you’re doing, because at the end of the day, it is truly what matters most, not which DT we were ever on or if we surpassed anyone. (: Yay!
I am glad you are doing it for YOU!
I am so happy I never got sucked into that part of it,it’s very easy to do!
whenever I felt myself going down that road, I went to a crop or a weekend get away with people who did it for fun, that helped me!
I submitted and got published, but once I did, I didn’t care anymore!
I dream about scrapbooking every single day and I need to make time for it, I tend to go in cycles between that and reading, been in a reading cycle for almost 2 years. I think it totally helps me escape from my world for a bit!
xoxo
tara
Such a great post! Your blog was actually the first “scrap” blog I ever found . Truly you are my fave scrapper! Always have been, always will be. I love your style and the way you tell your story, and inspire us all to do the same. I first came to your blog for layouts, but have stuck around over the years for so much more. Thanks for always sharing! And inspiring!
thank you for opening up about your thought. You are so down to earth and that’s what I love about you. Keep it up the Howell girl! You ROCK!
Hi Stephanie,
I first started following your blog back when Sadie was a wee baby. I loved and have always loved the elegant simplicity of your scrapbook pages and the heart felt journalling that goes with it. I love following your blog for the same reason – particularly your beautiful and honest story telling.
Oh how I love you, Stephanie! I love your candidness, your honesty and your voice. You definitely aren’t alone with your feelings and thoughts and I am so glad you have found your niche and groove. People like you deserve to be a part of this community. And it shouldn’t be competitive or trying or exhausting. It should be fun and enjoyable and full of life. Do your thing, girl! We all love you for it!! xoxoxoxo
So I am not a regular blog reader (or commenter) and every few months I check you out and binge read. This has to bee the most inspiring post, Heck the best blog post I have ever read. This was divine intervention as I needed to read these words at this exact moment – TODAY. You see, I closed my shop Bloom & Bee Swanky a few months back for many of the same reasons you talk about here. I needed to bee ME and although I didn’t understand it while I was going through it, I do now more clearly than ever. Quite Frankly, living in small town USA and trying to prove yourself creatively never mind on a global social media level as yourself, can lead to feelings I’d rather not discuss. So I have been on the fence as to what to do and I am going to sign a new lease going from over 4000 sq feet to just a few hundred so I can be 100% authentically me, just as soon as finish writing this. PLEASE remind me when you ever find yourself back in said small town USA to look me up as I’m forever grateful to your words of wisdom and want to express my gratitude. Your FAMILY is one of the many blessings I truly treasure. You have no idea what this is going to save me in Therapy… I’m off to Bloom where I am planted! THANK YOU!
Yay Steph!
You totally rock!!! LOVE all your stuff. Adorable layouts. Real blog!!! Love it! Thank you for sharing all that you do with us. I think of you guys all the time. Esp when my 12 yo son and husband read Army Ranger books etc…my son is obsessed with the military and wants to join someday:) Thank you all for ALL you do!!!
Holy Heck.. You are the best. I’m not even a scrapbooker, but I love your words and your stories. Love that you’re being true to yourself, and if you lose a few followers, they’ll likely just be replaced by ppl like myself!
This post warmed my heart today. I posted a very similar post just last week.I love hearing you speak from your heart, seeing your beautiful family through photos, and watching your journey.I have always loved following your life story, as I too am a Marine corps wife, mama of three little girls, and a lover of paper; and have also felt what you feel in your heart about being in the scrapbook community,I stepped away for nearly 2 years and one day woke up needing it in my life again, but feel back for the right reasons, I admire your bravery to follow your heart and voice it so openly.
You put it beautifully. I’m sure your words touched many. Being in a very competitive world today makes it hard to be true to oneself and the joy of any activity gets lessen. It was great to read your thoughts!
Steph…..KUDOS to you. I knew when I met you at CKU 2012 that you were and are special. I appreciate your honesty and transparency. Your words resonate with a lot of woman who enjoy this hobby. I pray in all areas of my life that I don’t conform (even in Scrapbooking). I have been free of comparing myself, my style, my way of doing things and my method of Scrapbooking to anyone. I haven’t purchased any Scrapbooking items since 8/1/13 and that frees me completely from comparing my layouts to “what’s in”, “what’s trendy”, “what’s hot”. I focus on what’s important my faith, my family, me friends, my life. My hobby is a bonus.
Steph I admire your revelation and for sharing it with us. Oh and BTW that box of MME goodies you sent me last year is keeping me on my path of staying frozen from buying scrapping goodies for 1 year.
Keep sharing your thoughts, your insights, and your moments in Italy with your beautiful family. Be blessed.
KRISTOL
Just found your blog via Julie FFB’s latest post. You spoke to me in such a big way. Been struggling with this for many months now. I’m not a scrapbooker but I was on some design teams for ATC’s and tags and found the same thing happened to me.
God Bless you for being real.