i am putting this page up because i remember having fun when i made it. i remember not worrying about what i was doing,what design principles i was following,what trends i was incorporating.
Why don't I scrapbook anymore? Why don't I ever make time to be creative anymore (except for the Studio Calico assignments I owe each month)?
What happened? And what can I do to fix it? Because I don't want to stop.
A lot of things happened.
1.I had too much stuff.
I kept buying. I kept saying yes when people wanted to send me things. I kept ordering and keeping up with the latest and greatest.
And I drowned in it.
I had too much. So I purged. I donated. I did giveaways. I gave two boxes to our babysitter. I stopped buying, I stopped saying yes.
2.I got caught up in the mob mentality.
"Everyone" has a silhouette. Everyone was misting. And splattering ink. And sewing. And stamping and layering and and and…
And while it is a lovely look (one I wish I could pull off)…I cannot pull it off. And it is not "me".
I thought it had to be me. So I tried it. I misted. I layered bits and pieces. I spent hours on layouts.
And it wasn't fun for me. It didn't feel authentic. And the end result wasn't meaningful to me.
I got tired of feeling like I had to constantly link and tweet and show pictures of what I was working on.No one said I had to…but it's easy to get sucked into it. Most days I don't even have time to go in my scrap room. At.All.
I wish I could have a new project to share every day. But that is not going to happen anytime soon. And social media has a way of making you feel inferior. If you let it.
3.I got stressed out
I don't think I really have to explain this one. For some reason I never really got my feet under me this deployment. Creativity was the last thing I had time for. I quit project life,didn't really set foot in my scrap room,I started my new job…which I LOVE by the way. But a lot of things happened that took the place of creativity.
4.I realized that I'm probably not the best fit for design teams
I don't make complicated pages. I don't dabble in techniques or do anything that would sell classes or product. I found a job where I could pour my creative focus without being looked at for layout inspiration.
I realized that making heartfelt,meaningful pages the way I do was NOT the best fit for pushing or selling product. I never figured out a way to do that in an authentic way and I got tired of trying. Simply put…some can make the two mesh in an honest way. I cannot.
I finally learned that I shine through blogging. Through sharing my heart (and sometimes sharing my heart in layouts)…but I am not a competitive designer.I am not great at selling product.
I don't want to have to worry about if I'm good enough. I want to be me and feel 100 percent at home doing what I'm doing. That's why the MME job and moving my focus elsewhere is a great fit for me.
I still intend to share companies and products I love now and then. That's part of the joy of this for me…sharing things and people I truly believe in!
**I need to come back here and clarifying that I am not trying to bite the AMAZING hands that fed me. There used to be a time that perhaps I was better at being a design team member. It has been a joy and privilege to work for companies,teams,and women I believe in. There is no doubt that those days brought me many gifts and amazing opportunities. I just feel that I am not a good fit for design teams anymore. There are many people who ARE and who do it well.**
So what has to change?
I had to let a lot of stuff go. I had to let it go that I wasn't doing what everyone else was doing. I had to accept that there will always be competition and that I don't do well with it. I had to realize that my pages need to be "me" for me to enjoy the process and the end result.
I need to re-discover why I fell in love with scrapbooking in the first place.
When in the world did scrapbooking become about "keeping up" to me. That is the stupidest choice I've ever made. Scrapbooking is whatever you want it to be. But to me? It was about my heart. It was about putting a piece of my heart down on paper.
And I lost that.
It's time to get that back. 2012/2013 will be the year I reclaim that. A year of not worrying about J leaving, a year of no fear, a year of togetherness…this seems like the perfect year for finding the joy again.
I regret that I let all the junk suck me dry creatively.
And it's high time I change that.
Wish me luck!!! 🙂
xoxo
S
So feel where you are on this and having been thinking through a lot of the same things so thanks for sharing and putting yourself out there. It is easy to think everyone else has this but yes it has become overwhelming for me to have way too much.
YYYESSSS that is what happened to me, when it came to scrapbooking but after I said OHHH FUDGE it… I’m doing it the Ellie’s way all of sudden it because Fun again. Now I have a slight problem I’d addicted to making mini albums and each time I’m going to make a page I start a mini ha…I say as long as its fun then its right! Your awesome & I always am inspired by seeing your beautiful projects and especially just you! ((HUGS))
I could not have said it better!!! (the whole keeping up and scrapping how you think you should, not how you like too)I also agree about the Social Media making you feel inferior…..I feel this alot! Keep on blogging, because its one of my favourite parts of the day….a quick meaningful real that puts real life into perspective! Thanks Steph
the same thoughts in my mind… But I live in Ukraine, in fact 🙂
So good luck!
the same thoughts in my mind… But I live in Ukraine, in fact 🙂
So good luck!
Totally had a similar experience and I commend you for getting ‘off the train’. Exciting part is your desire and creativity will spring right back, and I’ll be glad to be watching here to see it happen.
This is why I love coming to your blog, Stephanie. You are real. Thank you for sharing. (((HUGS)))
Wow – you don’t think you provide layout inspiration?!? I have scrap lifted SO MANY of your layouts over the years!!! And your fantastic genuine journaling has completely influenced/changed how I record “the story” behind my photos. I get what you’re saying though – and I’m glad you’re getting your creative spunk back!
I’ve felt where you are now for years!! honestly, if I can’t do a page that I can look back at & smile it’s not worth it. it’s been hard bc I don’t have little kids that do cute things or like to be photographed right now & I have allowed myself to feel inferior–DUMB!!
I now can say I am comfortable with my style whether it’s trendy or not…anything else just isn’t me. I wish you the BEST possible year!! Have fun & do what you do!!!
xoxo
Way to go, and good luck! So much of this rings true to me. I do want to share my layouts, but I dont want to sell product. I have hurt feelings that I am not on any teams (not that I auditioned or whatever). I think I want people to see my pages and say way to go – but I barely have time to make any, let alone blog them. So, I think it is time to let my hrt feelings go. Thanks for putting it out there, and I hope you can reclaim what you love!!!!
Well said sister! I realized this quickly when I started blogging and doing December Daily this year. Wow. Lots of pressure to keep up. How does anyone have the time? I almost deleted my blog. I work full time and seriously would not be a design team candidate. I like to go my own way and do my own thing. And I don’t have a lot of creative time so when I do I make sure it is making me happy. I found sharing on Instagram to be the most fulfilling for me. I treat it like a mini-blog and when I can I do a full post. But I don’t stress about it. It’s just a hobby for me! So long story but just wanted to say keep sharing your heart. That is what it is all about.
I have to say, I’ve stopped reading a lot of scrapbooking blogs because of the selling factor. I only read the ones with ‘heart’
“I got tired of feeling like I had to constantly link and tweet and show pictures of what I was working on.” ABSOLUTELY!
Thank you for always sharing your heart Steph. You really hit the nail on the head with this post. Love it and good luck to you!! 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Stephanie! I’ve always loved reading your blog and seeing your pages. Your style is very different from mine, but I love how you put together different elements and your journaling is always so heartfelt.
Maybe you can revisit Project Life next year. I’m halfway through mine and I love looking back at it. Granted, mine is very, very simple and I’m relying on mostly the kit, which helps. I have a new baby that was born on 12/28, so my project life will run from 12/25/11 to 12/25/12 to help me jot down the little memories now while I don’t have time to do full scrapbook pages.
Have a great day!
Totally wishing you luck! And just wanted to say as always your words completely resonate with me. Thanks again (AND AGAIN!!) for you openness and honesty. Your words are appreciated by so many, Stephanie.
Steph, you are such a sweetheart! Of course your pages are inspiring! You don’t have to do fancy techniques or jump on the latest trend to be inspiring. Just being yourself is all the ispiration that layout needs 🙂 I am pretty sure we all go through that creative funk and struggle to be ourselves on our pages…. I know you will be out of it soon 🙂
Stephanie, thanks for posting this. I’ve been struggling with all these feelings of inferiority lately! I’ve never published a layout, I barely post to on-line galleries, I own 1 bottle of mist, no cameo, no design teams, etc. But I have to stop and ask myself: why do I scrapbook? And I do NOT scrapbook for people’s attention or notoriety (though I have to remind myself of that sometime).
As far as your thoughts about design teams…perhaps you’re right, and I assume they put a lot of pressure on your to sell their products. BUT, I have to tell you this: your gallery is always the first one I check in the SC gallery each month. For all those reasons I mentioned above (I can’t afford to buy a lot of mists and inks and tools, and I don’t sew), so many of the team’s layouts seem unattainable to me. When I look at your layouts, I think, “Hey! I can do that!” And THAT is the most inspiring thing of all!
So, I hope that as you feel inspired, you will continue to share your layouts (as well as your heart). The combination of both those things is what keeps me coming back!
Thanks for being authentic and sharing your heart. It is one of the reasons I read your blog. Praying for you.
I think a lot of us feel that way….you just had the guts to admit it! You are amazing!
Great write up Stephanie. I got derailed trying to use kits and having too many and trying to do things other people were doing, which I can’t and don’t really want to, and it sucked. The last 2 layouts I did were 100% me and I had so much fun doing them! I love your layouts and your style. Don’t change. You make me love this hobby because you remind me that it should be fun, heartfelt and uniquely yours. Xoxo
1) I would bet 75% of the people that read your blog aspire to be ‘published’. To be on a creative team. To hook up to sponsors and sell products so we can work from home. And I think you would honestly admit that you got your dream job BECAUSE you were on design teams and ‘known’ in the scrapping world. It’s always nice to hear the REAL part of the story from behind the scenes. Thank you for your honesty. 2) I’m sure I “met” you because of a scrapping connection and liked the layout inspiration (your layouts are beautiful–current techniques and products be damned) but I know that I stay for your heart. You are now a friend 🙂 with a huge heart for your family and friends and that’s what will keep me here.
I could have written this post – I felt the same way and am slowing working my way out of the rut. I want to just make pages and have fun. I quit Project Life this is again. I just couldn’t keep up and I don’t want to be behind on another project. I love seeing you pages. Thanks for sharing.
you go girrrrrl!
I find the biggest obstacle is giving myself permission to sit at my desk and make something. Making time for me and my passion.
You really do share your heart. Thank you for being so honest.
Man, I really needed to read this today. You’ve given me the kick in the pants I needed to make a few changes. Refocus.
Just know this: if you’re never on another design team again, I’ll still be reading and getting inspired. xoxo
I’ve felt the same way for a long time. I scrapbook for me & my family. I don’t have a blog & I don’t post in galleries. I’ve been down the DT road, a store owner who wanted her team published & posting in galleries, doing layouts to push product. It just wasn’t fun – I was doing things that weren’t me. Don’t ever think you aren’t good enough. Your pages are some of most beautiful heartfelt layouts I have ever seen. With the stress you have endured the last few months, it is understandable that you have lost some of your desire to scrap. It will get better & I hope you continue to post your lovely layouts here for us to ooh & ahh over!
LOVE your blog, but I also LOVE your work, and I have missed the layouts. I think you should pair the funny stories with the layouts when you get back to posting, combine the things that you love and you may find a new job in scrapbooking. And for goodness sake, you have 4 kids….scrapbooking HAS to be fun to do it, or you will just get burned out. Love that you are finding your happy in your art – what works and what doesn’t for YOU.
It’s refreshing to hear this from someone I look up to, as a blogger and scrapbooker! I somehow thought you’d be immune to the little things like this that overwhelm the rest of us, I don’t know why, and I suppose thinking like that certainly doesn’t help you. I wish you luck I’m finding your way back, creatively, and can’t wait to see the results, whatever they are. (And, for what it’s worth, you do rock your MME job.)
I totally know exactly what you are saying steph, it’s so easy to get sucked in and compare your work to others. I have pages upon pages from when I first started that have ZERO journaling on them, and honestly, they are going straight into the garbage. same with the ones with typed journaling. handwritten journaling from my heart is how I started scrapbooking and it’s how I want to continue…
I found my favorite way to scrap now is to get a journal or notebook and tear half the pages out, put a picture and a few things I like on it, maybe a tag, flower, ribbon and then journal from my heart about how that photo spoke to me….LOVE doing this! I picked up the idea from Jenn (cannot remember her last name, but she called them Family Life Journals or something)….here is one example of mine, I think you would really enjoy something like this! NO PRESSURE!
http://tara_pollard_pakosta.typepad.com/photos/family_life_journal_3/index.html
I love the heart of your blog and your pages, it’s what I have always liked about your stuff because I can related well to it, esp. the fact you have girls as well!
I love your heart steph, keep being YOU~
can’t wait for your year to unfold with j and the girls!
tara
this is why i always come to your blog. it’s always real and straight from the heart! i have felt this same way and it feels good to hear it from someone else! kind of makes me feel like i’m not crazy, lol!! keep creating from your heart and you’ll never go wrong and always keep blogging! i love to always read and see photos of your beautiful family!!
You actually saved me from a creative black whole. I remember reading that you took about 30 minutes per page and that blew me away, this is back when i would days on a page. I decided to star trying it and it was so much fun! I actually like my pages more even though they dont get as much attention as they used too. I hope the next year will bring you back. I am soooo thankful you decided to purge too 😉
Great post! A great reminder to capture YOU and your family. Blessings.
Totally agree. When I was selling supplies this is when it hit me. Now I’m back in control and it feels good. I’m the chief executive officer of my pages and nobody can tell me what to do on them.
I read a quote once that said, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, UNLESS that hand keeps you from feeding yourself.” I think there is a point where you have to decide what is feeding your creativity {sometimes it is yourself and sometimes it is others}and then decide what is cramming something down your throat but not actually nurishing you.
You have influenced my scrapping — I’ve really changed my journaling because of your pages. 🙂
Stephanie, I totally agree with everything you say, it’s like you were in my head! I love to follow blogs but then I start to feel my work is inferior. Then I started to make the odd card for special people in my life, they loved them, but now I feel this crazy pressure to make them prettier and more elaborate! It’s crazy! So I’m with you dear friend, time to be proud of what I do, when I can, with what I have! I can’t afford to keep up with all these trends!! But having said all this, I LOVE YOUR LAYOUTS, ALWAYS HAVE!!! So just be true to yourself, and don’t stress!! We all love you!!
Yay for finding the joy, for me scrapbooking, creativity & art journalling is the way I release my stress, and as much as I love the pretty products, I in no way keep up with anyone, besides I’m just looking to be ME when I am trying to be creative.
Stephanie, you hit the nail right on the head with this one…I sometimes feel the same way about scrapping, it used to be fun for me, making what I wanted, and then I got the idea into my head that I wanted to be published, so then I had to start doing what everyone else was doing, had to have all the latest products so my pages might get accepted and then started applying for design teams, I got on some, not on others, then I start to feel like a failure when I don’t make a team..I do LOVE all the friendships I have made being on the teams, I just feel so much pressure everytime a layout or card is due, I feel like it should be so perfect and up to par, whatever that is…I need to re-think why I started to scrap in the first place, just for me, just for fun…thanks for such an honest post, and I do love your page, tells the story perfectly 🙂
What i have always liked about your pages is that you pair beautiful pictures with hearfelt journaling. The end result is a beautiful layout. I have always loved to look at your dt work at SC each month because of the add-on choices you make (we have the same tastes)and the products you choose to put on your pages. I don’t care about tecniques, i like the story a page tells and you have a true gift for telling the story through the photos you take and the words that you write. To me that is what makes you brilliantly creative!
I was waiting for this day. Four kids? Continue as usual? I don’t think so. My last child, last year in high school. I expect to feel freer. We’ll see. Dealing with medical issues… next stage of life. Glad you are getting to know you. You will morph along with your kids. We like you just the way you are.
Be true to yourself that is where your heart and soul dwell. I hope you have a wonderful time in Newport. That must be stressful as well. Will J be able to join you there? I hope so. Breath. Do as you feel comfortable doing. I have to say I withdrew from the world of scrapbooking except for what I create quietly for my family and myself. Thankfully, my job I created and answers my need for gainful employment and creative challenge and I see your employment does the same for you as you dear lady are a word smith. Embrace the moment and go with your feelings. Peace be with you.
…And that’s why I love reading your blog, regardless of whether there is a lot of crafty content (which I *love*) or not: your honest and heart-felt posts. You dare to put into words and out there what I don’t even always want to admit to myself. I have been struggling (big time) with my scrapbooking since roughly November last year and on more than one occasion just wanted to call it a day and stop. Stop stressing out about not creating enough, stop stressing about my pages not being pretty enough for my own liking, stop stressing about buying too much, stop stressing about where I can buy the latest and greatest. And then, every now and then I remember how much fun this hobby used to bring me, how I sometimes would sit there and smile while creating. These moments are far and few inbetween at the moment but they (or rather the memory of them) are what’s kept me going. Just the other day I saw a beautiful layout made with – gasp – OLD paper (2009, positively ancient) and realised that it doesn’t take the newest supplies to make something great. Duh, I know but I feel it’s sometimes so easy to get caught up in the whole “want/need” wave that I/we lose sight of what it’s really about.
Anyhow, I don’t want to make this all about me, I just wanted to say “Thank you” for this post and for continuing to blog. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that your creative drive comes back because I remember the times when you were so happy creating (and a little bit selfishly because I always love your layouts, especially when they don’t follow the latest craze but just give glimpses into your life with your 4 beautiful girls and brave man).
you are uniquely AMAZING! Life is NOT a competition and there are times and seasons for everything–when my children were little I could NOT have done what you are doing–I felt CRAZY, stressed and unorganized. I realized I needed to truly scrap for me, when i could. Now, I set aside my own time to create–journaling and recording the story is the most important, not just a pretty page–it’s sad that scrapbooking industry has gotten away from that. Don’t beat yourself up to much–I LOVE your style and it’s GREAT that YOU know what you are good with. GOOD for you for learning to say no–Project life is a journey, this time around I made it mine. I LOVE it SO much more than last year–I felt like I had to do it a certain way, this year I’m doing it the way that I want and my family loves it. Good luck–CONGRATS again on your new gig, it made me VERY excited for you!!
Amen sister. I feel the same way – and I have to say YOU are one of the main reasons I got hooked on scrapbooking – I saw that human, emotional element in your pages and wanted that for my own…..so bravo to you! Most of us truthfully will never be technically “perfect” scrappers but who the heck cares!!!
Thanks for posting this! I don’t scrap as much as I would like, I don’t blog/tweet/post up my stuff and I’m probably not the “best” scrapper out there, but I’m letting go of being unreal and trying to just be me!
I may not comment on your blog daily, but I read it daily, sometimes I’ll even go back and re-read something hilarious about your girls or scrap-lift a layout or use it as a starting point of inspiration!
And you’ll be fine, I know it because you’re a strong and creative woman with a big heart! Thanks for inspiring me.
Oh Stephanie. 🙂 This is why I love you. I, too, scrap to the beat of my own drum. I don’t mist. I don’t sew. I don’t have a die cutting machine. I don’t even really embellish. Sometimes it’s hard when I sit by all these years and watch every “new” style take off and with it new people….and I stay in the same place. I love what I create and that is what matters, but it’s hard not to wish that for once MY style was the “it” style. I applaud you for staying true to yourself and not letting yourself get sucked into the madness. 😉
I love your honesty and coherency (does that word exist in english?). I think you are so self concious and, belive me, as a therapyst I see it’s very dificult for most of the people. In my job I encourage others to use creativity (and I do myself too) and make specific exercices with patients and costumers wich involves art expression. Is really beautiful when you can freel free expressing but is so easy to get lost at it…
Loving reding you as allways, I can’t wait to see your new joyful year (I’m so happy for you and your family) and your re-meeting your inner artist <3
xoxo, Bea
I totally agree. The more stuff I have, the less creative I am. Too many choices gets me flustered. I am in the process of purging . . . not only my scrap supplies but the house as a whole. I am stressed with all the “stuff” and need to let go.
All your layouts are amazing but what draws me to them more than anything is your journaling. You have such a beautiful way with words. And really, at the end of the process, isn’t that what is most important? Not the latest supplies and trends – but the chance to pour your heart out on the pages that are dedicated to all the things you love?
And another thing about your writing ability – seriously, you should consider writing a book someday because you have an amazing gift with words. So eloquent, so beautiful, so truthful and touching. I wish I could do that. 🙂
I am sorry you are feeling like this. You bring up a lot of great points. There is a lot of inspiration out there, but that also translates to a lot of pressure! It is really nice to hear that all of that misting, layering, stitching gives some one else hives too! I love the way you create and always find you inspiring. I think it is the simple things. I don’t know who says you can’t sell product…whenever I see you use something I want ten of it! I’m glad you are finding your place and hope you keep creating and sharing with us when you can 🙂
Oh girl! I love so much your pages simply because is you. And you have this amazing thing to say things that even if you never put a layout on your blog ever, I will come here evertime to read you, and I can say that I don´t read much blog…
Go Steph. I’m cheering you on. Scrapbooking should be about your stories, your family, your heart. That’s when it’s important, that’s when it’s fun.
Thanks for sharing this. I’ve been having a creative ‘block’ lately as well. I sit at my table and just stare at the pages, where I used to just go with the flow and have fun! I love all of your pages, they have been great inspiration for me!
Your blog and scrapbook pages are the reason I joined the Studio Calico Kit Club. I love all of you heart felt pages. I know I could not keep up with a project life type project and my children would not want that many photo albums anyway. I scrap only what I love and hope my children will love one day too. I wish you luck getting back to what you love!
I TOTALLY get what your saying STeph… I work at my LSS and I feel I need to always create my layouts with the customer in mind… but what happened to my style? I don’t want my daughters albums filled with layouts that I made to please strangers.
Oh my goodness Steph! I could have written this post myself! I too am pledging to take back myself and regain my creative drive! Whatever that may mean 🙂
I too have lost my creative spirit. I haven’t scrapbooked in four years. It just became so time consuming, then I heard of Project Life and that changed everything. I have been doing PL for four years now, but I do it in its basic form (picture and journal) that’s it! The trend now seems to be you have to “scrapbook” PL. Too much for me!! I hope you would revisit PL and enjoy the ease of taking a picture and journal it!
I can really relate to this post even though i’m doing something completely different! Who cares. Let’s do it together! Good luck to us!
thank you thank you thank you… you spoke what my heart has been saying for sometime… it makes me want to go clean off that scrap table i avoid these days and play…
this is why you are my favorite blog… I found you because of scrapbook but I adore it for SO much more because it’s true, from the heart and sincere. I have totally and utterly lost my way. I have become so sad I don’t even go into my scrap room except to dump the new product I just got for no reason because I have stopped scrapping. Which makes me sadder. I got into scrapbooking as a creative outlet from a suffocating marriage. When I remarried and had kids I kept going because my kids love every little silly crappy page i do. It’s not crappy to them its something awesome mommy created for us.so we could remember and smile. Like many I have forgotten that and got caught up in the “buy this cuz i made that and now you want it even though you don’t scrapbook the way i do”. I belong to a kit site and I love them, they are good to me, they are good to us BUT this month I am walking away from revel day because I have to save myself and go find my creativity that I let slip away. From the comments it sounds like I’m not alone and that makes me feel so much better. Well that and your post. You are just the most amazing person. I hope to find a friend like you one day.
Same thing happened to me and starting this summer I am changing things as well!
Good luck to both of us (and anyone else, I haven’t read all the comments)
:0)Natalie
Stephanie…you are way too hard on yourself. One only has to look at your girls’ faces to know where your priorities lie. You are doing such a great job. My husband was out of the country frequently during the Vietnam era. Even when home he wasn’t ‘home’ much–continual flight training, etc. Being the only grownup in a houseful of little ones is exhausting even when you love it and feel so fortunate to be able to be home with your children. Sustaining one’s sense of humor, not to mention all the tasks required to keep your family going is not easy and the added stress of knowing your husband is in constant danger only adds to the stress. you are remarkable and your girls are adorable.
Brilliant post! Thank you so very much for writing this post. I too have constantly tried to keep up with the latest trends and buy, buy, buy more supplies. I was looking through one of my 1st scrapbooks today and felt a warm comforting feeling. I realized I am creative and can make pages I feel happy with and proud of. My techniques do not follow most of the current trends and I’m realizing that is okay. I’m in the midst of purging a lot of supplies at the moment.
I thank you for your words as it is a reminder that I am not alone.
All the best.
Lisa
Nodding head in agreement here! I’ve done the DT thing…using product so that they can sell more of it (even if I hated it!), trawling the web for new ideas and techniques to teach in classes, making pages with little or no journaling in an attempt to keep my private thoughts private…and thus losing the whole reason why I scrapbook in the first place! It sucks the joy right out of it. Good on you for admitting what the DT reality can be for some of us.
In 30 years, when you look back on your scrapbook pages, why will you be grateful that you did them? Because you put THIS time down on paper for ALL time. In all the mess that scrapping has become, we forget WHY we first started doing it; so that our kids (and their kids) will KNOW about their lives. So that your family will know their history. What I wouldn’t give to have my grandparents, and greatgrandparents scrapbooks.
You are wonderful, and inspiring and totally YOU, Stephanie. Why would you want to follow a trend, or try and copy someone else, when what YOU are is something that others aspire to be.
You rock, sister. Don’t ever forget it. ♥
{love} this post 🙂
Thank you for writing this, I think a lot of scrapbookers have felt like this for a while now. Sometimes it is the design team members that make us feel inferior (I know that’s not their intention). I love your style and you should do what makes you happy – believe it or not but that is what makes your readers happy too.
I love this post and your honesty. I have never done the publishing or design team thing but it is so easy to loose track of why you are scrapbooking in the first place and the trying to keep up with the “IN” crowd.
You put everything so well into words and I thank you for sharing because its so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of having the latest and greatest. I adore your layouts and love your SC gallery. You know whats in your heart and that is what you have to follow.
I hear you 100%……one of the main reasons why I love your work is your jounaling and the story behind the pics…..your heart is on hose pages, good and bad feelings and that is what inspires me. I’m kind of feeling the same……losing myself, I hope to regain my authentic self during this summer, i am so looking forward to loving creating just for me!
Good on you for posting this…a part of me has always wanted to be published or on a design team, but the sensible part of me knows that this would suck the joy from my hobby. It’s so easy to get sucked into the world where “everyone” is scrapbooking in a particular way and comparing yourself to them.
And like most of the other commenters here, I follow your blog because you are so open and down to earth that I feel like I actually know you. And I also happen to LOVE your layouts 🙂 I hope you re-discover the joy of scrapbooking soon! Maybe your latest interstate relocation will help?!
Stephanie,
I just love what you’ve written. I can relate to so very much of it. Sometimes I think wish for that time when I had no idea about design teams or publication, etc. etc. not that I am not grateful for the experiences I had…but it does change your perspective.
Amen, Sister! I stopped putting my layouts in the SC gallery because I got tired of not getting noticed. To get down in the dumps because virtual strangers didn’t comment on my pages really opened up my eyes. I don’t scrap for strangers. I scrap for me. Steph, you’ve inspired me in ways that I cannot really express with words. And oh how I wish you’d been in RI LAST year when I was there for a week. I think we would have had fun!
Okay … good luck to you! But I don’t really think you need it. You’ve figured out what went wrong and why. You’ve taken steps to fix it. You are about to begin the most amazing new adventure, you’ve found a perfect fit job-wise, and you know that blogging and scrapping your heart are what makes you happy. That all sounds like the perfect recipe for finding your joy again!
I have to agree with the general sentiment here: we all love whatever you choose to blog about and we all love your pages (done your way). I think what we all really love is YOU.
Sooo, you’re planning to dump the (xyz), do what comes natural and just be you? Well then YES PLEASE. I, for one, am buckled in and planning to enjoy the ride! xoxo
Lovely post Stephanie. The “competitive” part of scrapping is very disheartening – sorry that it zapped your creativity. I love your writing and your blog is my favourite. Thanks for that 🙂
WOW – you have an amazing way with words and it just sums up what I think about things as well. You are so amazing finding the time to scrap with 4 littles ones and a hubby that does come home each night. I love your pages, what if you don’t mist, ink splatter, sew you pages are part of you and the simplicity of them is all the better for the creative view (hope that makes sense). No matter how simple you might think your layout are they are an inspiration to others to get to ohh and ahh overing them each month. I hope that you still make layouts and post of your blog has I’m a regular reading and just love them. Keep smiling and big and kisses to you all xxx
I can totally relate to this entire post. I’m in the same exact spot. I’m actually taking a much needed break from all of it. I need to step back and remember why I love it and just start doing it for myself. The competition, or keeping up with everyone else, the stress of deadlines, the product overload, etc was totally taking away from why I started doing this in the first place! I really hope you come out of this because you (the authentic you) are one of my favorite scrappers. Not because you do the most amazing pages ever but because you put your heart and your life on the page and that’s what I love about this hobby!
i think you’ve really stuck a chord here w/ so many scrappers. some days i just don’t even get online to look for inspiration and just try and let it flow from myself so i don’t get so caught up with it all.
on a side note thought…i always love your layouts. sooo lovely. and i love your blog. it’s one of the few that i do keep up with regularly!
I feel the same way, my budget can not keep up with all the new stuff coming out. I live in Canada and all new things I want I need to order on line, the shipping costs and then customs too.
Thanks for always being honest.
AMEN!! way to be true to you!
Wow, this is so similar to what I’ve just worked through myself. I was ready to delete my blog because of pressure to ‘be better’, ‘create more’, ‘blog more often’ etc. So I took a few weeks to think about it properly and came to the decision that I will continue, but I will do it on my terms. Basically, I took the pressure off. The funny thing is that I am already blogging more often because the weight is off my shoulders. I posted my thoughts here if you’re interested:
http://antheam.wordpress.com/2012/06/10/so-i-had-a-chance-to-think/
Thanks for being real!
Anthea.
I could have wrote this myself (except the part about DT’s). Everything has become so competitive in this industry. It sucked the life out of me.. I have a whole room upstairs and never step foot in it. I just don’t enjoy it anymore at all. It’s sad. It was supposed to be something fun to do for my son so he would have something later on to look at and see how much I love him 🙁
I totally “get” it.
I have read your blog for years. I love seeing pics of your girls and reading about your life and will still continue to read. Please don’t go away or anything…
This is so me! its to where I have not done any pages lately and I really miss my scrapbooking! I have been slowly purging/organizing this past month since these feelings have been hovering around me for quite a while now. Thanks for writing this post, I am sure a lot of us needed to read it and not feel alone.
Hugs and good luck to you and to all of us who are feeling like this, we can totally do this!!! 🙂
Stephanie – Thanks for your honesty and integrity. I think you’re awesome and I love your work. You have to do what’s best for YOU. Thanks for being real! And your girls are lucky to have such a great mom!
I love your self-awareness, its such a beautiful quality. I’ve always loved your pages because even though we don’t have a similar ‘physical style’ I love that you let your emotions shine through with each page; which is always the pages I’m most proud of myself.
Reading and following your journey over the last few years, this really does seem like a perfect move for you and I’m sure you’re going to shine in ways that you haven’t even dreamed yet.
Good luck with everything and keep writing, because you really are an inspiration.
Wish you luck? Absolutely, darling girl! I know you’ll be back to doing what you do best in no time once J is home.
Sending you a huge hug.
ditto on the scrap-lifting ! I never buy magazines, I just print up all Stephanie’s layouts and take them with me on my scrapping get-aways !
Picture it: three crafters sitting around a kitchen island having this EXACT same conversation just last night. One had not touched her blog in two years. We used to do challenges and try different things. We even gave ourselves challenges, using colors and techniques that we knew were WAY off our creative comfort zones. I need to use pink… and I hate pink. I made my clean and simple friend use layers and embellishments. It was hysterical, but hit exactly what you are talking about. We all three are crafting bloggers, and our mojos have been on a weird cycle.
I love the honesty of this post. I got hung up in the “design” of it all, and it stops me in my tracks sometimes. I just need to get some pages done.
I have also embraced that Facebook and my blog are my means of archiving, too. And just living life. I appreciate what you share with us.
i am feeling the same way…have fallen behind on Project Life…feeling somewhat guilty would like to be caught up, it’s a way to keep me adding pictures to scrapbook, am thinking i miss doing full page layouts…i inherited photos…many, many photos from my side of the family, and my husband’s want to get them organized etc. i am still trying to find my groove….
I understand how you feel (at least to some degree). I’ve never done any design teams, but the industry has gotten so competitive and ever changing and I’ve become so overwhelmed that I have a hard time starting because what I feel like I need to do is so grand that I’m too overwhelmed to even start. The industry has changed so much since I fell in love with scrapping. (There have been great things about the changes, but the super artsy, overly competitive, selling of more and more product part has kept me from actually creating). Well….that and the fact that my craft room has never really gotten organized since we moved….over 2 years ago. Time to get working on that one.
don’t worry, this is just something you have to do. considering the questions: who am I? What am I doing? Why?
You’re a mother of four, an inspiration to many and now about you, your mojo, your flow. In Holland we have a magazine called Flow (http://www.flowmagazine.nl/), with lots of eye candy, leafing through it always gets me inspired, but doesn’t give me the urge to get up and do something. It’s about enjoying. Hope some good will come out of this for you.
Thanks for saying this out loud! It is a reminder to me (much needed) that we create for ourselves.
I, personally, love what you project in your pages. It is a big reason I follow you. You wear your heart on your sleeve and your pages.
The amount that you have been able to do…to me, is just amazing…really!! With four girls the ages they are – I really don’t know how you ever found the time. I don’t have kids yet and I can’t imagine being able to make the time you need for the responsibilities you do have. I know I probably sleep too much and I do work but I know I waste alot of time that could be spent more productively as well. Stress can get the better of anyone and it’s the main reason why I took two years off of doing anything scrapbook related. Even when it was someone’s birthday and I ‘had’ to make a card, it felt like a chore, I wasn’t enjoying it. Depression contributed to that but it was just too overwhelming to think that because I had taken so much time off – and the industry kept on going without me that at times, I thought, I’ll never get caught up – I’ll never be in ‘that’ mode again where I was up on everything that was happenin’ in the industry – running to Michaels everytime the flyer came out just to find something – anything to use that coupon on. I have given a lot away, I have sold a lot of my old things but I’m am buying again… just not like I used to and I am doing pieces and layouts just for me. I’ve found a couple of manufacturer’s that I adore and would love to be on a DT for them someday but for now, I’m content with doing things just for me…I didn’t for so long and instead of dwelling on how much time I’ve missed, I’m just going to go forward and keep going and doing what makes me happy and not worry so much about what everyone else is doing.
I totally get where you’re at…I’m there with ya. 🙂
very well said. Thanks for your brutal honesty. Best of luck as you head back to your true creative roots!
Love your post. I felt the same way. Now I’m scrapping my own version of Project Life no day to day, more than what happen in a month. I don’t even buy PL I doining it with all te stuff I have.
This is a great post, and I think many scrapbookers can identify. At least those of us who have dabbled in design teams and trying to get published. I can’t wait to see new pages and projects from you. You inspire so many of us as crafters, mothers, wives and women. Keep being you, girly! 🙂
Hi Steph,
Thanks for posting this one! It really inspired me this weekend to just finish a page without worrying over every detail! You are def inspiring and great at blog posting, and it’s awesome you found a job you can still be in the scrapbook community but not feel so pressured to create something new every single time! 🙂
I totally agree with you Kimberly
Stephanie, this is why I LOVE your blog. You are so honest and real! I’m right now where you are…I haven’t scrapped in so long b/c I was thinking I had to enter this contest and that contest and link up here that I was doing it for everyone but me. I hope to start doing layouts again soon but this time it will be my way. xoxo Lindy
Stephanie, I applaud your openness and do know how you feel. There are many days when I want to give up and not do it anymore. I let others get to me also and feel “not good enough” most of the time! I’m the same way – I feel like I have a style that’s different and not like everyone else, and sometimes it’s hard to feel like I fit in. I make cards mostly because I enjoy the creative process, play with pretty products and want to enjoy what I do, create. I don’t want the pressure of feeling like I always have to come up with something new and have the best photos, or do what everyone else is doing! I think your pages – simple, beautiful, and from the heart – are fabulous. So if you get a chance to make a page, just for you, I say go for it. Life is more important though, and your littles, spending time with them and creating the wonderful memories! I think you’re brave for saying no, because I know it’s very hard. I need to do that more often myself, that’s for sure. It’s draining to always feel the need to blog and create and promote. Hours upon hours can be spent doing this! I think many people get burnt out, you are not alone. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and honesty. 🙂
Dani
good luck.
Ah Stephanie! You nailed it once again. You ARE amazing at blogging your heart. (You’re amazing at scrapping it too – by the way) You get your feelings down in such a way that.. I mean, I feel like MY heart is lighter just reading your words. I love you on the MME Blog (MME is just fantastical!!) and being a mom is such hard work – even without deployment. I can not imagine the amounts of energy and courage you have to summon to start every day. But obviously you do. You have a remarkable spirit! One of hope and humility and love. I can see this just reading your blog. Having never met you. I’m grateful for the day I found your blog! You inspire me to be a better me. More honest with myself and people around me. Thanks for being you!
Love this post. 🙂 I check into your blog every so often to see both your layouts and pics of your girls, put I don’t take the time to comment often. I love the stories that you tell on your pages. It’s obvious you scrap for a reason instead of to get product on a page and I appreciate that. I often wonder why some others bother to put a pic on a page with a lot of product and fancy techniques but don’t bother to tell a story.
Your gallery is the first I click on at SC each month. Others, I honestly skip. I know I would never be able to achieve their look because I either wouldn’t “waste” so much product on one page (I try to stretch my kits!) or I don’t have (or want) the cameo to cut out the countless fancy things they’ve added.
Thank you for always being true to yourself! And your family.
🙂
be you and stay you. Like a lump of poo (it was the only thing that rhymed)
Loves you
Kirsty (your only friend. Never forget that)
I too need to go back to why I scrapbook and craft. I’m in the stage of buying for when I get the chance to get in my craftroom. But now with Summer I have the time, but I’m so daunted by the orginization that needs to be done in my craftroom, I don’t even step in it. I need to find a balance. I can’t imagine having the added presure of being on a design team. There have been times when I thought it would be fun, but I know it would move it from being a hobby to a responsibility. I have enough responsabilities, four kids will do that to you. I love reading your blog posts and I’m glad you are still passionate about that.
getting to this post late but love love LOVE it. seriously. you’re the best!
Although I’ve always aspired to be published, to be a recognized “name” in the industry–it’s all the reasons that you’ve mentioned that has kept me from trying to do it all. I can’t make my life be about blog-posts, twitter updates, facebook posts. It’s not fair to my kids if I’m permanently attached to technology.
There are so many “famous” scrapbooking people who have seemingly dropped off the face of the earth after being completely spent from the demands of being on teams, etc.
Good for you Stephanie for realizing all of this before it is too late. Enjoy your girls, enjoy scrapbooking (again).
You are real & that is awesome!
i understand how you feel. we are in the middle of a move and some life-changing things, and other than taking pics and dreaming about being creative, i’ve let it all go. i just want you to know i have always been inspired by you. you are the reason i joined sc and yours is the first gallery i click in every month. i have your blog bookmarked on the toolbar of my computer, and it’s the only one i have up there. thank you for the inspiration and for sharing your heart. i can’t wait to see what you come up with when it’s not for an assignment. btw, you may not have an old product left, but i’d love to see you use some (since i’ve been buying for a while and not using, too). 🙂 from your faithful (but quiet) blog reader.
Wow…so many of these points fit me too..and the guilt –when did a hobby, passion, creative outlet get so complicated? Thanks Stephanie for helping me as you figured things out. 🙂
Rhonda
I so agree with this post. Totally where I’ve been at. I can’t wait to try and find joy in creating for my pleasure again. Well said my friend! Suzy
As always my friend…your integrity speaks out loud and clear…and your words are just perfect! Thank you for sharing…and I’m so excited that you have found a PERFECT fit for you to enjoy and love this fun craft again with out the stress of it all. You are truly a beautiful person and friend! (((hugs))) love ya!
xoxo
K