pile of feet that was spotted at my latest ultrasound.
don’t be grossed out by all the other blobby freaky looking stuff. hee!
apparently it’s almost impossible to get a good 3D image with twins b/c of all of the shadows that they cast on each other.
but all of these feet piled together? they kill me.
i
can’t
wait.
to see those feet snuggled together in the cradle.
to hold them both and smell their sweet baby smell. to hear those new baby noises.
the peeps. the squeaks.
the cries.
the swaddling. the teensy diapers.
the yawns and stretchy arms with wobbly fists.
the “frog” legs bent up against their little bodies.
the way their breath smells so sweet.
it’s so worth it.
the fear, the pain, the notknowingwhatisnext
so worth it.
i’m doing this day by day.
yesterday was a hard day. i went to the hospital b/c i felt weird.
no other way to explain it. i was worried it was my blood pressure.
so they hooked me up to the fetal heartbeat monitors…
blood tests, urine test, pulse, blood pressure. and i was fine.
my heart rate was high, and the doctor said this to me.
are you stressed?
uh yes.
are you eating and drinking as much as you should be?
uh…i don’t know.
and i realized i didn’t.
i mean, no idea.
so i’ve decided. i am taking care of myself.
and by myself,
i mean cate and lucy.
and that means saying no to certain things. and letting go of other things.
and not feeling guilty. or like i’m a bad mommy.
a sweet friend (and fellow mama to twins!) told me about a verse in proverbs that says this:
“A heart at peace gives life to the body.”
this is my new mantra. praying, resting, letting go. looking forward to the future and knowing…
it’s so worth it.
i will think positively. i know what can happen. i’ve heard all of the worst case scenarios. read every book i can get my hands on. there are a lot of WONDERFUL scenarios too. i choose to focus on the positive.
i cannot control the way this is going to go. i simply can’t.
but i can control how i handle it. and i want to do it with a smile on my face and hope in my heart.
i can’t wait to meet these babies.
and kiss those little feet.♡♡