Last week we spent a few days on the beach in North Carolina with family. That doesn’t sound extraordinary to most of you, but it most certainly is to us.
We are close enough to drive to see our family.
That wasn’t the case in Upstate NY
or Washington State
or Rhode Island
or Italy.
And it certainly won’t be the case in Alaska.
It’s a gift and one we’ve treasured the past 2 years.
But it’s time to move on to our next adventure.
And after we said our “see you laters”, because an Army family never says goodbye, we piled in the van and headed home. We were all chatting away, and I looked in the rearview mirror and saw one of the Howell chickies quietly crying.
I gently asked her what she was thinking and she expressed her thoughts on our upcoming move to Alaska. She said she was nervous and anxious and then, in a wobbling and breaking voice she said
What if I don’t have any friends, mommy? What if no one likes me?
And my heart BROKE.
I cried with her, even as I assured her that our number one job in life is to keep her safe and that she will be okay and that I PROMISE God has more beautiful and magical things in store for us than we EVER could have expected.
But..isn’t that the heart of it? What I, at 40 years old, worry about EVERY.SINGLE.TIME we move? What if no one likes me? What if I don’t make any friends? What if I am lonely?
Now. Imagine having that feeling every one to two years, and you have some insight into the life of a military child. My kids have said “see you later” to more people than I had EVER said goodbye until I left for college.
They have changed schools, churches, and communities. They have had to be the “new kid” over and over and over. They have had to deal with the same fears, worries, and what-ifs that I deal with on a daily basis, but just imagine those emotions in a tiny body.
They do all of this without complaint.
Because they know what I know.
We don’t have a choice. This is what we do. Because we love Jimmy and believe in him and what he does.
We follow him to the ends of the earth.
We say hello and then goodbye. Over and over again.
And it’s worth every single tear and worry. Because home isn’t a place, it’s our family. It’s our love.
We may not have traditional roots, but we are firmly grounded in our love for each other. We are a team.
But these sweet girls…oh my heart.
They are so strong. And resilient. And brave.
They bloom where they are planted.
Dear Lord, please help me to continue to model hope, positivity, love, and grace. Help me remember that this life is a GIFT. It’s a joy to lead the life we lead.
When I’m in the midst of boxes, tape, packing paper, and goodbyes….give me strength. Help me start all over again and put my heart on the line when I’m reaching out to connect with new friends. Give me the words.
Because ten little eyes are watching and waiting.
xoxo
S
This…❤️
Beautiful words and sentiments, as always. Best of luck to you and your family on your next adventure!
I have followed you through all of the girls…and love your story. I’ve shared your “embrace the suck” mentality with a new Air Force niece and some of your storied with others. Your “home” is so true…especially in this age of children spreading their wings and moving away. I appreciate you sharing your life and loves with us…it is a gift, as you are to them.
Thank you for sharing your heart and your family. Praying for you all.
I love your honesty about how life is a gift, but that it is not always easy. Funny how we often have the same fears as our children and yet, we find the strength to give them the support they need to get through them and feel safe, no matter what. I wish you all a great move and wish for lots of great adventures for all of you. I am sure that this will be another great chapter in your family’s story!
This post has my heart. Such incredible photos of your beautiful girls, you must be so proud of them and Jimmy too as it can’t be easy for him either. I have followed your family on your blog since 2009 and you have been a source of inspiration to me when my family and children have had to undergo two major relocations. You always ‘smash it out the park’ and will do again. Thank you!
I love your words and your honesty. These moves can’t be easy on any of you but you do it with such love and grace. I will pray that you all find friends and happiness in Alaska. Moves are hard but so glad you are all doing it together!
You give true meaning to the quote that Home is where your heart is.
I love your words, your heart and your bravery – you are raising some amazing young women! I love that you can laugh at it, make it an adventure or share with us a hot mess and still embrace it all with grace and joy. My only daughter just got engaged this weekend to her WPoint grad Boyfriend ( we love him !) and she knows it’s going to be a crazy adventure. I’m going to share this blog post with her and let her know, as we’ve always told her, home is where the love is. Thank you for reminding us what a gift life is – I’m sending so many good vibes and prayers for a smooth move to your next home!!
Your kids are adorable! You take such great pictures. I so admire your ability to move and make the most of every opportunity. I hope your family and your husband’s family are able to visit you in Alaska! What a wonderful opportunity for them too. I hope you have a great library near you at your new home so you can continue your reading and recommendations!
They will be just fine because they have you and Jimmy and each other! And you will guide them through this unique lifestyle with grace. I am the total opposite, having lived in one place my whole life and marriage. It has its own complications and hard things and I think it’s pretty stagnating and unhealthy in a lot of ways. Experiencing the world is a blessing that they will appreciate so much! But the goodbyes and see you laters and new starts are hard, too. Hang in there.
You’ve got this! I’ve been following you since your twins were born. You, friend, are MY hero! What you do on the daily is incredible.
Thank you for sharing your heart, soul and beautiful children with us.
You’ve got this!! This I know <3
God bless your beautiful family! And to think the blessings of being able to meet, make & cherish friends all over God’s good creation? But the enduring legacy is that your family core is strong and intact – rooted in the Lord & one another… Praying for you all & eager to hear about your new chapter of your family book – I’ve always had a fascination with Alaska…
Oh so many yeses to this. I get your heart. Praying for you all as this chapter in the journey closes and a fresh brand new one opens up.
Tears and hugs from this former military kid. Your girls have a strong mama like I had and they will grow up to do great things.
My heart breaks for you all but having moved around myself, emigrating from a third world country to a 1st world country then traipsing all over my new country. I look back and see all the wonderful memories and a gift that no one can appreciate unless you have done it. A gift of making all those friends that you would never have met otherwise.
Its the saying goodbye that is the hardest, but in the end oh so worth it. Your kids and you will have so much to share with others. It will make other appreciate what they have.
Cant wait to read all about your new adventures. I have followed your blog and life since you had only 1 gorgeous baby and because of you Stephanie I have learnt to appreciate what I have
Oh, my heart! It’s amazing how much kids “get it.” I’m sure this is such a scary time for you. The unknown always is. But, it’s evident from these pictures that you are raising strong and confident girls who will bloom wherever they are planted. I pray that the transition is easy for all of you and that you all find your groove — and a good local library –quickly. Hugs to you, my friend.
Beautifully written. Made me tear up. God bless your family.
You are one strong momma, raising strong girls 🙂
I was a Navy brat and I went to 14 different schools so I KNOW exactly where your girls are coming from. One of the really good things ifrom my years in a military family is that my 8 siblings and I were always EXTRA CLOSE to each other because we had to be each other’s best friends first and foremost. We are still very close to this day even though we are spread out across the United States!
Loved reading this today. 22 homes in 46 years (RAF brat and wife) I so related to what you wrote. We are moving out to the USA next year and I am excited but nervous also. My kids 14, 16 and 18 are all going through what you describe. They are excited and terrified all at the same time. It is such a huge transition to make whether big or small and one sometimes I struggle with. I think knowing too far in advance (a year in or case) doesn’t always help as that seed of fear grows. But as i keep telling my kiddos, think of the adventure not the specifics. Look back at our time in the Falklands and all those amazing sights sounds and trips that we would never have experienced if we had closed our minds and said no. Your’e doing a great job Stephanie and your children will look back at their childhood and thank you for pushing them outside their comfort zones and allowing them to grow and thrive in new environments. It gives them a great set of life skills but I totally get where the guilt, worry and tears come from. Just focus on those positives Mamma and your girls will watch in awe. xx
Thanks so much for the update! So glad for the good news of a family visit! Thanks for all you share! You & your family are a gift to all of us who watch the girls grow up and learn so much when you share your heart. So many wise words from you and your girls! So many feels! So many heartfelt comments! LOVE it all!! Looking forward to hearing about the Alaskan adventures!! Hope you all find something to LOVE! I am a long-time fan!
I have been following you for years as well. I love reading your posts; you can tell they are from your heart. It is wonderful how you all seem to work together & stay positive through a lot of unknowns. Beautiful, courageous family – all of you!
This is so beautiful! Love and hugs and prayers to your family. You will always have us here cheering you on, even if we have never met in person.
Oh, how I understand the fears and prayers. My dad was in the Army and I expressed the same thoughts as your children many times. They can rest on these things. They have each other. What a wonderful bond family is. No matter where you move there will be certain people who love them and certain people who might not make the best friends. That’s okay. God will bring the right people at the right time and they will be stronger and braver and more adaptable because of this. Traveling families have a certain strength!
I know they might not see this immediately, but one day they are going to look at all of their adventures and friends from all over the world with the fondest of memories. God bless you all!
such beautiful words!
You have such a beautiful command of words. Your ability to weave them into something positive and beautiful negates the negative emotions of an impending experience. The Lord is strong in you and your family. He will take care of your move and will provide you one of life’s best experience in Alaska.
I was an active duty soldier ( USA) and my first duty station was Fort Wainwright, AK. I met my husband, also on active duty, two years after. We got married, I separated from the Army after having our baby, then PCS’d to Fort Carson, CO.
Never in my wildest dream would I even think about going back there but as fate would have it, lightning could strike twice. Now, with a child in tow and a newly minted civilian employee, I was being forced to go back to the harsh arctic weather condition.
In total, we spent 11.5 years (two tours, three extension and a stop loss). We had 2 more babies born, all boys, by the time we left in 2010 to PCS to Fort Lee, VA . We loved Virginia, specially the weather, when another baby, a boy, completed our family. Unfortunately by 2012 we got orders to PCS, again, this time to Fort Drum, NY. The husband got deployed to Afghanistan for a year and there I was saddled with four kids, the three boys still in diapers and nursing a baby.
It was a mixed experience of tears, joy, sadness and pain all rolled into one. We did not get to stay long enough in one place after Alaska to actually make life long friends but I have met other wives who helped me with the kids. They made life easier and shorter because of all those play dates we had with our kids.
Two tears ago, after 26 years of serving, my husband finally retired from the Army. We decided to retire in Virginia and enjoy the moment together as a family. No orders to deal with, no more PT’s , deployments, TDY’s and all that active duty good stuff. My oldest, already 18 yrs old and a senior will start her own career as a cadette in the Naval Academy in June. My three boys are still in grade school and loving the place they will grow up to call home.
In the horizon, after all those decades devoted to moving from place to place, I see for you and your beautiful girls, a very happy and loving home. Because your patience to persevere will bear fruit and you will be rewarded by lots of wonderful experiences to look back to and be thankful for.
Good Luck on you move to Alaska 🙂 With all our love and prayers.
Beautifully said! I was a military child, now a military wife and I’m so grateful to my parents for giving me the gift of resilience- and teaching me to thrive when everything else sorta falls apart. Keep going, you and your husband are doing a great thing. Beautiful family!