Almost 6 (WHOA!) years ago, I wrote this post. To this day, it is one of my favorite posts ever. I thought that I’d revisit the subject matter today. Six years and one additional child later. Since I wrote the post, we’ve done an international move, another move, and a move to Alaska. I’ve given birth to another baby girl (Cora).
It’s a season of carpooling and sports and dances and social events and homeschooling and toddler drama and tween drama and solo parenting and trying to take care of me, my heart, and my spiritual health in the middle of the chaos.
But.
The words I wrote back then still resonate with me SO MUCH. Perhaps even more.
EVERYONE IS BUSY.
It is a gift. It means you’ve been given LIFE.A full-to-the-brim life. A life that doesn’t stop.
Listen here. We are all busy.
But life is too beautiful to be spent running by,yelling you are busy, making someone feel insignificant.
Life is busy.
And beautiful. And sometimes you have to MAKE yourself sit down (right in the mess of it) and enjoy it, instead of picking it up.
It is always worth it to stop and have a conversation with someone. It is always worth it to look at your children when they are talking to you. And to respond.
It is always worth it to get off the phone and say thank you.
Your busyness? Does not make you better or different. It gives us something in common. It makes you like every other woman, man, parent, adult out there.
It’s not an excuse or a badge or a medal.
It’s life.
In the post I write about a woman who always made me feel that she was too busy to stop and talk to me. I think of her often, as I am now around her age and in the stage of life she was in.
I think of her often because I am determined to never make anyone feel the way that she made me feel.
Insignificant.
I have five kids 12 years and under. I have a husband currently undertaking battalion command. Which means he is either gone, or here but not really here…if you know what I mean.
And guess what? I don’t use it as an excuse to make others feel small.
I will always, always, always have time to stop and talk and connect and encourage and LISTEN. To form bonds and build bridges. I still don’t believe that “busy” is an appropriate first response when someone asks how I am.
Does that mean that I’m not busy? That I’m not losing my mind a tiny bit? That I don’t feel like I’m running on a treadmill that’s going too fast sometimes? HELL NO.
If you are reaching out for help and drowning because of your busyness, then that’s one thing. That’s bravery. But if you are using it as a cop out? Not okay.
We are all busy to some degree. Again, that doesn’t make ANY of us special or superior or set apart.
Living in Italy really, truly drove this point home. There is no culture of “busyness” in Italy. No mom competition, no “the busier I am the more important I am”, no “who do you know and how connected are you”.
Then try moving to DC after Italy. HOLY COW. Y’all. It’s an epidemic. I have never been around more people so wrapped up in their to do list and their busyness.
Here’s the bottom line.
If I ever become so busy, or caught up in the notion of my own busyness, that I can’t stop, talk to you, and make you feel important, acknowledged, and loved…THEN WHAT IS THE POINT?
I still freaking remember how dumb I felt when my neighbor would run by me yelling “TOO BUSY TO TALK!”. I felt silly and embarrassed and I eventually stopped trying to speak to her.
Life is so beautiful. And yes, busy. But being present and attentive and talking to one another…that’s the good stuff. The stuff that matters. The ties that bind. I don’t ever want anyone to feel less than.
That’s who I want to be and how I want to be remembered.
xoxo
S
This is so the best thing I’ve read in … six years . I’ve been that rude, proud, too busy person and I’m ashamed. I also look at those people who are sooooo busy and wonder what are they running from inside themselves? There is nothing on earth more important than making connections with human beings whether they are your children, your spouse, your aging parents or yourself. Now I am deliberately not busy. I choose to have time if someone calls me to talk or suggests coffee when we bump into each other. I choose to have time to sit with myself and a cup of coffee and reflect on how I am doing , what my current feelings and actions are saying about how my life is going. Part of this is a life stage (children grown and not working) but part of it is, as you say Stephanie, a choice. I choose to not engage in every opportunity offered in order to make space. May you always remind us how fortunate we are to have a life and to actually stop and engage in it xx
Love this post! I find the women that constantly tell me that they are beyond busy – boring & self absorbed. It seems to be a status symbol anymore, which is sad to me. My girls are college age now & yes I had busy years like everyone else. Key – like everyone else.
Thanks for reminding all of us to be more connected. 🙂
Totally awesome and so totally true. People are always more important than anything else!!!
xxoo
Stephanie, I was glad to read that. There was this lady that I knew that talked to everyone and everyone liked her but she was always rude to me. If I tried to talk to her she always had to hurry off. Regardless of where we were….I knew that I was several years older than her but I finally just gave up trying. I was not on her level….
Thank you for this reminder! It is so easy to get caught up in the “busy, busy, busy” routine. We all need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and just enjoy every moment.
You have such a healthy attitude. I wish you only the best, each and every day.
Love this post and it is so true. It sure makes me stop and think today.
This is a GREAT reminder. I think I read what you wrote SIX years ago!! 🙂 I try not to be busy just to be busy. I have busy seasons or busy times, but I like my time. I try to say yes to things I really want to do, things I love so I have time for people I love and want to spend time with. It’s easy to get caught up and say yes to, too many things I know. I will have a senior and a freshman in high school next year!! The time has flown by. Most days I just want a pause button, I hope that I have spent enough time with each of them and taught them what they need to know as they get ready to spread their wings! Whew!! What a time!! Love reading what you share with us! Thank you so much!! Trying to enjoy my precious almost grown girls!!
one of my favorite quotes at work…”Don’t be busy, be productive!”
I got so tired of hearing co-workers complaining about how busy they were. I was too, but I just put my head down and instead of complaining to everyone or trying to tell everybody and his brother how busy I was, I just got to work and got productive. Its amazing how much you can get done when you just do it and quit trying to convince everyone how busy you are!
An excellent reminder. I remember your original post and I’m glad you are sharing it again. Being busy should not be the definition of who you are nor should it be used to show how much better you are than someone else. Making connections with people and being present in the world you live in (instead of flying through it to the next thing) are important. People have forgotten this it seems. We need to slow down a bit when we can.