Welcome to “Domande su Italia”. Questions about Italy. This is a fun new series I plan on visiting monthly in this space.
I will answer questions that you’ve asked me here, on Twitter, through email, on FB, Instagram..okay. I think you get the point. HA!
Disclaimer: I am not an expert on Italy. Or Europe. These are just my observations and opinions after living here for 10 months. Everything you see here is based on my experiences. I have no doubt that others have had different experiences…but I’m speaking from my frame of reference! :
A: Nope. It’s not true. In fact, it’s a downright misconception. I kept hearing this before I moved here. I heard it a LOT about Parisians. And I couldn’t disagree more.
A few thoughts:
1. There are rude people everywhere. That’s a fact, Jack. I ran into plenty of them in America and I’ve certain run into plenty here. But to categorize an entire group of people as rude is unfair and it causes preconceived notions.
2. Italian people are the stereotype that you see in movies. They are not overly, ridiculously friendly. They are cautious with their friendship and conversations. As Americans, we are by nature just friendly, put it all out there people. “Hey” or “Hi!” is a greeting for anyone. In Italy, there are different categories of greetings based on how well you know the person. Biongiorno/ Buona Sera is for strangers, Salve is in between (someone you kind of know), and Ciao is for friends.
People here don’t want to be your bestie if they are never going to see you again. Why expend the effort? And I totally get that. And like it! I’m proud to say that after close to a year here I am getting way more “Ciaos” than “Buongiornos”. A smile and a friendly conversation (IN ITALIAN) helps.
Case in point: I thought our neighbors HATED us. HATED. Turns out they just didn’t know us. The moment I went over to say hello randomly one evening…we were invited for a homemade dinner and nonstop conversation. True story.
3. In relation to #2…I really think you get what you give. If you visit a country and treat the citizens with respect, then you will get a good response. A big smile, constant attempts to learn and use the language, and good manners…those things go so far. Many Americans (in all countries I’ve visited) don’t even try to use French, German, or Italian. They expect the people they encounter to speak English (and sometimes seem angry if they don’t). Not okay.
4. If I run into rude people (there were one or two in Paris) I just smile and don’t take it personally.
A. Great question. And this took some reflection. I’d have to say that the hardest thing about living in Italy is the lack of efficiency.
America has a very go,go,go! mentality. 24 hour stores, etc. I don’t miss the mentality but I do miss the efficiency that comes along with it. I loved being able to get a straight answer when I asked a question. I loved being able to get something fixed or straightened out immediately. That just doesn’t happen here.
You don’t get answers or returned calls, you wait in lines for hours only to be told to go to another line, only to have that line close as soon as you get there because it’s riposo. Businesses and roads will arbitrarily be closed with no warning or reason.
The Internet goes out all the time. It’s gone out 2 times while I’ve typed this. There’s no reason and it can’t be fixed.
It takes a long time to get things done. And that frustrates me. It frustrated me 10 months ago (to the point of tears)…and it still does. Just not as much. I’ve gotten much better at taking a deep breath and waiting it out.
Another difficult thing (obviously) is the language better. I’ve gotten much much better with this due to classes and the Duolingo app. But there is still SO much to be learned.
One of my most frustrating moments in Italy was trying to order a rib roast for Christmas. I was gesturing, using my translate rib, even pointing to my own ribs. I was desperate. But the butcher and I figured it out and it ended up being one of my most proud moments!
Okay. That’s it for today. Hopefully this is something y’all find interesting and worth reading. I’d love to share monthly!
Buon Fine Settimana!
xo
S
Love this monthly series! Thanks for sharing and teaching us about Italy! I don’t know anyone from Italy, so I know nothing about the country. I think that’s fabulous that you are learning Italian. How fun to show off your Italian with your neighbors at dinner. I would have trouble with the efficiency too. I can’t believe you have been there for 10 months! Will your parents and inlaws be able to visit you all in Italy?
love this new series! thanks for sharing
Totally expected. Esp. since my oldest son had many interesting frustrations living in Germany. My youngest is now heading there in two weeks to study over the summer. He was wondering if he could use his Starbucks card there. Ha! A lot of growth opportunities living overseas. You learn a lot about yourself for sure. My oldest is fascinated with European history. So we know who to hire as a tour guide if we travel there. Of course, there will be no money to travel unless I can find a job. So back to the job search….
Thanks for the new series – I love it! I think the lack of efficiency would drive me crazy too. So glad you’re sharing your experiences.
I have never lived in Europe, but have traveled there several times, and I really agree with your points about friendliness, particularly point #3. I had mostly good experiences, having made an effort (one negative experience in Germany, but Parisians in particular seemed to really appreciate a respectful effort.) I have seen plenty of “ugly Americans” too, and they don’t enjoy their travels as much, and they have only themselves to blame!
It is such fun to continue my virtual trip to Italy with you and your great family! thought I would like to make a real trip there some day, I am so inspired by all your photos and info that I think I may need to move this one up the bucket list! Love all you share! Didn’t get to comment on your lovely post about J’s deployment, and Harper’s reaction. As I have mentioned a time or two before I am so impressed with your family’s strength and sacrifice!My husband did serve in Vietnam, but that was before I met him and his family so have not know the feeling personally of having a loved one deployed. Prayers for a safe deployment and speedy return!
Can’t believe it’s been 10 months already! Where does the time go? I am giggling picturing you gesturing to your ribs to buy a roast. 🙂 Glad you are able to get your point across. I can only imagine how trying it must be at times but the beauty and experience of such a place must more than make up for the flaws. Someday…someday I will get over there. It’s a dream I hold on to. Great post…keep em coming 🙂
LOVE your point of view on Europe (; Being a German i’m excited to read more about your experiences!
I just learned about the Duo Lingo app. Aidan is using it to get better at Spanish. Maybe it’s time I start in on Italian, you know, for that trip I’m gonna take.
I can’t believe it’s been 10 months already! I look forward to reading about your adventures and my kids love hearing the updates. Thank you for sharing so much with us.
Your experiences are so interesting, and I appreciate that you share so much of your life on the blog. Thank you!
I couldn’t agree more about the inefficiency thing. It just takes SO much longer to do anything, from a house repair to getting a gym card. No one is in a hurry and no one wants to streamline the process. Things not only take longer to accomplish, but it almost seems that Europeans make them harder … when Americans have cracked the code on how to get something done quickly and efficiently. But I keep reminding myself of where I am. Our adventure is going to be over so soon and I will be sad!
Fabulous idea and looking forward to the next one.
Traveling to Italy in less than a month…EEEK! So excited. Using Rick Steve’s guide to all things Italian, Greek, and Turkish. Duo- Lingo app very much appreciated. My 11 year old has voiced his must see list and we are going to pack all we can into a three week trip. Can you tell I am excited?!?
great idea for a series Steph! love reading this. and i agree with your assessment of the “rudeness” stereotype. when we visited paris and france, i was surprised by the kindness of the people we met. not always over-the-top friendly, but kind and respectful (especially when i was using my high school french!) 🙂 look forward to reading more!
I love this series. I’m from the UK so have seen quite a lot of Europe. One I’ve my friends moved to Texas six/seven years ago and it’s been interesting learning about the US through her eyes (and the couple of visits I’ve made to her) so it’s funny getting to read about someone coming over this way from the US.
Stephanie,
reading your blog is always so funny! I’ve visited different contries in USA and I love your go,go,go! You have more space, we haven’t. You have houses with big (biggest) parking cars, you buy milk in gallon, also cereals for morning breakfast are biggest I’ve never seen! You find open shops 24/24, no queue at offices, big roads, different traffic roads (last weekend I stayed 2 hours on queue on Brenner for road works!! Incredible!!!!), different mentality, everything is easier in your country than here. I love your country but I love mine too and I admire your adaptability in our country!!
Happy Summer Stephanie!
Have you never visited Trento?