Stephanie Howell

i love taking photos with my iPhone because i can snap photos without having a bulky DSLR in my face.

an iPhone is much lighter than a canon.

but this week i had my DSLR out on the kitchen counter. i had to take a few photos for a magazine assignment, and i just never put the camera away.

i am SO glad that i didn’t put that sucker up. because i ended up grabbing it all week at random moments and i got some great photos.

i don’t use my big camera often at all, so i noticed that i could really sneak some shots before the babies knew what i was doing. when they see my iPhone they say “cheeeeee”. haha!

here are the moments i caught.

sweet baby feet and silly babies rolling on mama and daddy’s bed.

lucy on the left and cate on the right. their hair is WILD these days.

also, you’ll notice that i’m slightly obsessed with picking up $8 play dresses at old navy.

this mama of four girls canNOT have enough affordable play clothes.

silly big girls before school. i was daring them to not laugh at me.

the babies put on harper’s headbands and were VERY pleased with themselves.


lucy “drooly mcdroolerson” howell

each day when sadie comes home from pre-k, we put the babies down for nap and then spend some special time together.

she pulls her stool up to the kitchen counter and does some kind of art activity while she tells me about her day. LOVE her face in these photos.

cate “reading” a book. 

she’s concentrating so hard with that little tongue out.

those curls are delicious.

then lucy wandered up and cate realized her alone time was over.

but she was fine with it because she loves “sheshe”- that’s how she says lucy.

their faces in these pictures make my heart hurt. i mean…have you ever seen anything cuter? EVER?

you can even see those sweet pudgy/dimpled elbows.

yeah…i think i’ll leave that camera out on the counter. because these make me happier than i can put into words.

happy friday,precious friends.

if you need me, i’ll be hiding in the laundry room drinking sauvignon blanc. don’t worry…i’ll make sure to do laundry at the same time as to stay productive.

xoxoxoxo

today’s post has been rolling around in my heart and my head for a while now. reading ali’s wonderful post yesterday made me want to get these thoughts down. i’m not quite sure how to explain it properly, so please forgive me if today’s post is rambly and random.

scrapbooking has been both a blessing and a curse.

a blessing because it has giving me the gift of creating. of the happiness and release that comes with making something with my own two hands. in a way it has been a therapy for me.

through 7 of the 8 deployments our family has endured,scrapbooking has kept me sane. given me much needed “me time”.

the curse? that i now have memory keeper’s guilt.

it’s that moment when you realize you can not possibly document everything you want to remember.

it’s the way sadie says certain words incorrectly. the way that cate’s lock of hair falls in her face. the inside jokes i have with jimmy right now. our favorite meals. the way harper poses for photos. the way the babies dance,the way their little voices sound,the way they feel in my arms.

i want to remember the complexities of my relationships with my girls. the frustration combined with the moments that take my breath away (because i love them so much it hurts).

the way that my babies always smell like baby shampoo with a slight undercurrent of graham crackers (even though they don’t eat graham crackers).

i want to remember the way jimmy’s hand feels in mine, the way he looks at me,the way he smells and how safe he makes me feel.

how frustrated i get with him about the same silly things. and how i regret it instantly and put my head on his shoulder (because it’s hard for me to say i’m sorry).

i want to remember always moments like this:

each today is unique. my children will never be this exact age again. they will never sound and look the same. and it’s constantly changing. each day is a whirling dervish of lasts and firsts and everyday beautiful moments and silly frustrations and not so silly frustrations.

i simply can’t remember it all.

that’s human nature. i get that. but it doesn’t mean i don’t feel sad about it.

each day,each month,each year there will be things i want desperately to remember.

scrapbooking made me see in a way i’d never seen before. it made me hear in a new way. taste life in a new way.

but it also makes me sad and slightly panicky for all of the things i won’t remember.

you live,you savor,you experience every moment.if you get caught up in documenting too much of it…you miss living it.

so i am continuing to search for the right balance. i am starting to accept that i won’t remember it all,as much as i wish i could.

i am grateful for this blog,for social media.for my outlets that can capture the little things that will be forgotten quickly.

the little things will slip my mind.

but they all add up to make one big thing. i will always remember the thread of love,respect,and hilarity that ran through our lives.

that much i know.

life is a great big jumble of everyday moments. ordinary miracles. i sure wish i could grasp every single one and hold them close to my heart forever. does that make sense?

i can’t promise you that i’ll ever let go of my memory keeper’s guilt. it’s in my nature to think that way.

but remember i said it’s a blessing and a curse? the blessing part trumps the curse part. big time. every time.

happy friday y’all.

xoxo