Stephanie Howell

she got in the car yesterday full of joy and stories.

she talked and talked. about art,about reading,about a song she is singing in her classroom. she talked about snack,lunch,what she was wearing, what her friends were wearing,she talked about math.

i said what about recess harper? who did you play with?

and there was silence from the back seat. so i asked again. i noticed she was looking out the window.

i gently asked her one last time. she looked at me and said

promise me you won’t feel sad for me mama?

i gulped. and promised.

she said i didn’t play with anyone. i played alone. i’ve been playing alone since yesterday. (they have 2 recess times a day by the way)

so i asked her why. and she told me.

the girls had been chasing the boys, calling them ugly names,and throwing wood chips at them. she said she knew it was wrong and it made her tummy feel yucky to think about acting like that, so she played alone.

all alone harper? were you the only one?

yes mommy. the only one. but i don’t mind. i didn’t want to be part of that so i used my imagination by myself.

apparently the class (except h) got in trouble when they came back in and the teacher talked to them about treating each other in an unkind way.

but my girl? well she had the guts to stand up and say no…and to not do something that everyone else was doing.

you know what? i wasn’t ever brave enough to do that. i usually went along with everyone else (and felt HORRIBLE and guilty while i was doing it).

she’s becoming the girl i pray she will be. and it gives me so much joy and so much pride to see her stand tall and hold her ground. i know there will be harder times, i know that she will give in sometimes. but this was big for her. she just wants to be loved and takes it personally if she’s not (kind of like someone else i know..ahem.).

i bought her a tiny rhinestone star necklace. this weekend i want to take her to our special spot at dunkin donuts:

and i am going to give her the necklace and tell her again how proud i am of her. and that every time she feels scared or alone or worried, she can put her hand to her throat and feel the tiny star. and it will be a reminder that she shines.that she is precious and that she is worth far more than rubies. and wood chips. 🙂

happy friday, y’all. i hope your weekend is beautiful and blessed!

xoxo

last night, harper decided that we needed to get ready for picture day.

she had me show her the pose that i selected on her order form.

she then got out every piece of clothing she owned and tried on different outfits, doing the pose she’d be doing for photos. THE POSE. WITH EVERY SINGLE OUTFIT, PEOPLE.

and she rejected one outfit

after another

and another

and another.

i’m dead serious. the reasons were varied. everything from “awkward” to “the pattern is too small” to “not fashion enough”. there was also something about “not ‘propriate”. WTH?

sadie was laying on her bed moaning and mumbling. the only word i could actually decipher was “widicuwous”.

then this morning she woke up early so i could curl her hair. and of course, every.single.curl. was accompanied by screeching.

i’m talking alley-cat screeching. which is pleasant. there were tears. harper tears and mama tears.

and we were 5 minutes late for school. but when all was said and done, look at my beautiful girl.

yes. her fashion staples are present. pearls and skinny jeans. and flats, of course. when i put this outfit on her she posed, had me snap a picture…and then jumped up and down yelling THIS IS IT!!!

she might be a little bit over the top, but i must admit the girl has ‘ashion skills. and i love it. even though wedding dress shopping should be…interesting?

happy tuesday,sweet friends.

xoxo