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Stephanie Howell

reading, organizing, shopping, momming too close to the sun. Home is wherever the Army sends us.

In Memory.

In memory of all those who laid down their lives. You know by now that I’ll never say “Happy” in front of Memorial Day. It just seems wrong.

You know by now that I get a bit ragey if I see “Memorial Day is about ___________ (parties, BBQs, the beach, shopping, bacon-yes I’ve actually seen this one).”

Today I’m thinking of all of those empty chairs at the dinner table. The sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, husbands and wives that are no longer here. Those that never came home.

My heart is aching for all of those left behind. I’m thinking of all the tears shed and all of the memories that will never be made. Not just today, but every day…it’s our job to remember them and embrace those left behind as well.

I’ve pretty much said it all before, so I’ll just link you to some of my past posts.

2013

2011

2010

2009

Love to you all- I hope you get to spend today surrounded by those you love.

xo

S

Scrapbook Layout | Joy at 3.5

I am so in love with these two. I’ve decided that God makes kids the cutest they will ever be at age 3-4. Also the most stubborn. They make me laugh all day long. And they have given me a few headaches too. At least I’m laughing while my head hurts HA!

I made this layout using my current (and forever) obsession, Market Street by MME.

This was the first page I’ve made in quite some time. And I’m embarrased to say how long it took me to get around to finishing it. Let’s just say that I printed the photos…um…3 weeks ago? EEK!

Hope you all have a beautiful and blessed Monday. I’ll be back tonight with the Stuck on You giveaway winners.

 

xo

I Am That Mom.

 

So you’ve probably seen the article by now. Most likely on Facebook (if you do Facebook) which is where I see it multiple times a day every day.

Dear Mom on the iPhone

It’s been around for a while (years) but for some reason it’s making a resurgence now and being posted again. A lot.

It’s so popular that there have been lots of responses and rebuttals.

This one might be my favorite. I like this one, too.

But y’all. It still irritates the ever-loving spit out of me every single time I see it posted.

So I figured I’d give you my perspective. And maybe it will make me feel a bit better.

source

Yes. I am often on my iPhone at the park. There are many reasons why. And they are probably reasons that not everyone would understand or guess.

Let me fill you in on a little secret. When you are a military wife, and especially one with a deployed husband…phones are your lifeline. Every time that phone rings? You FUMBLE to answer it. Those calls get you from week to week (and sometimes it’s month to month).

You use the phone to email photos of missed birthdays, first steps and lost teeth. You send videos of first words, school plays, and spelling bees. This is not an exaggeration. Jimmy has seen so many firsts (and lasts!) through video and photography.

When a hero is killed that phone is how you connect. You cry together, pray together, sit in silence together. You PRAY that phone will ring after long bouts of silence.

Now add in the working mama piece.

Emails to compose, blog posts to edit, calendars to fill, paychecks to deposit. All on the phone.

Now add in the grocery lists, to do lists, timers, alarm clocks, emails to teachers, etc.

All on the phone.

 

And why do I do this at the park instead of watching my little girl twirl?

Well first off…that doesn’t happen. Magical twirling in the sunshine that is. What really happens is whining

THAT BUG TOUCHED ME!

SADIE POKED ME IN THE EYE!

I’M HUNGRY? DID YOU BRING ME A SNACK?

I’M THIRSTY!

CATE LOOKED AT ME!

and on and on and on.

 

And you know what?

ALL I WANT IS ONE EVERLOVING MINUTE OF SILENCE. I want the four of them to PLAY TOGETHER for a little bit. I am tired. And I miss their daddy terribly.. And I want to take a minute for ME. To get my thoughts in order and breathe.

I want to pin a pretty dress to Pinterest and dream about one day getting to go on a date with J.

I want to write an email to him telling him how much I miss him.

I want to read a chapter of a book or practice an Italian lesson so I can learn to communicate here.

I want to look at photos that my friends (who are SO FAR away) have shared because I miss them terribly.

I have five minutes to get together a grocery list and the park is the perfect place to do it because the girls can entertain themselves.

All.Day.Long. every single day we paint and sing and read and watch YoGabbaGabba and make cookies and take bubble baths. And then we brush hair and clip toenails and brush teeth and do homework. We color, brush MyLittlePony hair, build with Legos. We dance, sing Frozen songs, argue, and laugh. We skip, practice play lines and songs, fall down and have to get BandAids. We drive back and forth and back and forth to post. In the car we sing some more and argue a lot. I have no privacy. No area of our home is sacred and safe from the “MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMMMYYYYY”. Not even the restroom.

 

So YES. I’m on the damn phone at the park. And sometimes during gymnastics and play practice. Because I believe that life will go on and my girls will survive even if I don’t watch them every single second of every single day.

I believe it’s okay to do things for me.

I believe they will be okay (and even flourish) because of this. I believe that encouraging independence and saying “I want to be alone” is OKAY.

I believe that you can experience life fully and embrace meaningful moments. AND that after the fact you can share these moments with an absent spouse via technology. They are not mutually exclusive.

And above all I believe that moms should stop judging other moms. It’s exhausting.

xoxo

S

 

Oh. And P.S…If you would like to encourage my girls to twirl magically in the sunlight feel free. But be forewarned…it will not end well. It will involve flailing limbs and a possible black eye on your end. Because they are, after all, Howells. Magical.

Mercatinos

Finally a replacement for Flea Market Finds! It’s been so long since I frequented the flea markets in Texas. And I loved the thrill of the hunt, the bargain, and the find.

And I haven’t found anything to duplicate that feeling and fill that void. Until now! Let me tell you about mercatinos. Imagine stores 10x better than any flea market or thrift store in America. Because things we consider “old” are NEW to Italians. Old has a whole new meaning here.

Mercatinos are Italian flea markets/antique stores/thrift stores. Some have consignment items. And I found my happy place at one the other day!

Here’s what the shop looks like:

For those of you who are local, this shop is in Bolzano Vincentino at Via Cotorossi 31. They have weird afternoon hours only…I think from 2-7.

This is the front room, but the back rooms are HUGE.

I am obsessed with this sign but it is way too expensive.

 

Here’s what I came home with!

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I love adding treasures to our home. It’s been too long. And I love that each item I buy here will give me such great memories.

Happy Monday!

xo

S

Questions About Italy #1

 

Welcome to “Domande su Italia”. Questions about Italy. This is a fun new series I plan on visiting monthly in this space.

I will answer questions that you’ve asked me here, on Twitter, through email, on FB, Instagram..okay. I think you get the point. HA!

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on Italy. Or Europe. These are just my observations and opinions after living here for 10 months. Everything you see here is based on my experiences. I have no doubt that others have had different experiences…but I’m speaking from my frame of reference! :

 

A: Nope. It’s not true. In fact, it’s a downright misconception. I kept hearing this before I moved here. I heard it a LOT about Parisians. And I couldn’t disagree more.

A few thoughts:

1. There are rude people everywhere. That’s a fact, Jack. I ran into plenty of them in America and I’ve certain run into plenty here. But to categorize an entire group of people as rude is unfair and it causes preconceived notions.

2. Italian people are the stereotype that you see in movies. They are not overly, ridiculously friendly. They are cautious with their friendship and conversations. As Americans, we are by nature just friendly, put it all out there people. “Hey” or “Hi!” is a greeting for anyone. In Italy, there are different categories of greetings based on how well you know the person. Biongiorno/ Buona Sera is for strangers, Salve is in between (someone you kind of know), and Ciao is for friends.

People here don’t want to be your bestie if they are never going to see you again. Why expend the effort? And I totally get that. And like it! I’m proud to say that after close to a year here I am getting way more “Ciaos” than “Buongiornos”. A smile and a friendly conversation (IN ITALIAN) helps.

Case in point: I thought our neighbors HATED us. HATED. Turns out they just didn’t know us. The moment I went over to say hello randomly one evening…we were invited for a homemade dinner and nonstop conversation. True story.

3. In relation to #2…I really think you get what you give. If you visit a country and treat the citizens with respect, then you will get a good response. A big smile, constant attempts to learn and use the language, and good manners…those things go so far. Many Americans (in all countries I’ve visited) don’t even try to use French, German, or Italian. They expect the people they encounter to speak English (and sometimes seem angry if they don’t). Not okay.

4. If I run into rude people (there were one or two in Paris) I just smile and don’t take it personally.

 

A. Great question. And this took some reflection. I’d have to say that the hardest thing about living in Italy is the lack of efficiency.

America has a very go,go,go! mentality. 24 hour stores, etc. I don’t miss the mentality but I do miss the efficiency that comes along with it. I loved being able to get a straight answer when I asked a question. I loved being able to get something fixed or straightened out immediately. That just doesn’t happen here.

You don’t get answers or returned calls, you wait in lines for hours only to be told to go to another line, only to have that line close as soon as you get there because it’s riposo. Businesses and roads will arbitrarily be closed with no warning or reason.

The Internet goes out all the time. It’s gone out 2 times while I’ve typed this. There’s no reason and it can’t be fixed.

It takes a long time to get things done. And that frustrates me. It frustrated me 10 months ago (to the point of tears)…and it still does. Just not as much. I’ve gotten much better at taking a deep breath and waiting it out.

Another difficult thing (obviously) is the language better. I’ve gotten much much better with this due to classes and the Duolingo app. But there is still SO much to be learned.

One of my most frustrating moments in Italy was trying to order a rib roast for Christmas. I was gesturing, using my translate rib, even pointing to my own ribs. I was desperate. But the butcher and I figured it out and it ended up being one of my most proud moments!

 

 

Okay. That’s it for today. Hopefully this is something y’all find interesting and worth reading. I’d love to share monthly!

Buon Fine Settimana!

xo

S