Stephanie Howell

What Matters?

January 24, 2017

This is taken from a post I made on Facebook, but I wanted to share it here too. I’ve felt so down lately. Afraid to share my heart, feeling that I will be judged or rebuked or corrected. That others will say they are disappointed in my for not saying what they think I should say.

Here’s what I shared today:

I wasn’t going to say anything. Because everyone else is saying plenty. But as I thought about it this morning, I realized that I actually do want to say something. I feel compelled to say something.

The words are spilling out of my heart and my mouth like the tears that have constantly been in my eyes lately.And y’all KNOW I’m a big blabbermouth.

I grew up conservative and I’m very proud of my upbringing. I pretty much had the best childhood and parents ever. I’m terribly proud of my roots and of my family and I respect every one of them more than I can say. They are incredible. Until my adult life, I mainly only knew very conservative people.

Then I married Jimmy and left the state and eventually the country. I got to know LOTS of different people. Different faiths, different backgrounds, different political leanings. For the first time I got to know women and men that were more liberal.

I was shocked to see that I could identify with many of them and that I could have excellent and respectful conversations. I changed and evolved and grew. Still me, same heart. Still on my sleeve as always. I just moved a bit more towards the center, where I sit today. I don’t lean either way.

Sorry, I digress.

My point is, I have friends ALL over the political spectrum. And most of the time that makes a beautiful dichotomy. I love it. I truly believe life would be horribly boring if we were all cookie cutter replicas of one another.

Recently, though…recently it’s turned into something else.

1/2 of my friends marched.

1/2 didn’t.

1/2 are republican

1/2 are democrat.

Many are telling each other to suck it up and shut up and to stop posting certain things.

Someone will post a photo of something they believe in and are proud of and others will tell them they are disappointed.

Condemnation from both sides.

YOU ARE EVIL IF YOU ARE A CONSERVATIVE.

I DON’T TRUST LIBERALS!

IF YOU MARCHED YOU ARE STUPID!

IF YOU DIDN’T MARCH YOU ARE STUPID!

I’m disappointed…

unfriend me if you disagree…

I’m unfriending anyone who xxxx

and on

and on.

Finger Pointing.

Mud Slinging.

Open Letters.

Call-Outs.

Pettiness.

Superiority.

Condemnation.

What’ s up with this need to publicly decry anyone you don’t agree with?

I mean…it *is* possible to have beliefs without belittling anyone who might feel differently. Condemning others and their beliefs doesn’t make yours more valid.

And not only that… But how in the world do you expect someone to see your point of view if you’re mocking theirs?

Telling people to shut up when they are sharing their hearts….doesn’t that seem counterproductive?

Can you imagine if people acted like this face to face?

Girl one: I love coffee

Girl two: YOU ARE AN IDIOT FOR LIKING COFFEE AND I’M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE I KNOW YOU ARE AN IDIOT. I’M GOING TO TELL THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!

I mean, really.

NONE of these little petty details matter. At the end of my life I’m not going to worry about what people said on Facebook. I’m not going to worry which daughter or friend or family member has which political affiliation. Or who they voted for in which election. Because that’s not what matters.

What matters?

The big details.

Love. Faith. Kindness. Respect. Compassion. Empathy. Service. Connection. The ability to listen. The ability to leave the world a better place than it was when you entered it. Doing the good work. Enacting the changes you want to see through your actions.

LOVE.

I’m friends with all of you because I LOVE you.

Whether I have ridiculous, immature, and HILARIOUS memories of you from high school or college, or if you held my hand through one of J’s deployments or held my babies like your own. Whether we taught together, met each other in an elevator, worked out together or met through the crazy online world of blogging, or if I met you and you forgave my horrendous Italian and loved me in spite of it.

I’m friends with you because you are important to me and because I respect you. I will defend you and be loyal to you. I don’t care about the other crap. And I won’t post about being better than you. Ever. I will have your back.

Okay. That’s all. Sorry for the novel. I warned you. I’m a blabbermouth. 🙂

Want to Spread Some Love?

January 17, 2017

So I had this idea. And I’m really excited about it. I wanted to invite you guys to help me if you are looking for a way to spread some light and love.

These days more than ever…I believe that love wins. Love conquers all.

We spread lots of love and joy at Christmas. But what about the rest of the year? What about Valentine’s Day? It’s the day of love, right? What about those who are all alone? Those who have lost their sweethearts?

I came up with the idea of playing Cupid and making little care packages to take to nursing homes. Our Oh-Snap Bin is perfect for snapping on walkers. If you choose to buy one (or more) I will fill the bins with lip balm, lotion, candy,treats, and “love” letters from my girls. And then the girls and I will take them to a nursing home and distribute them for Valentine’s Day.

I’m so excited just thinking about it!

Spread Some Love // via StephanieHowell.com

I’ve opened a party in my store called “Stephanie Plays Cupid”. If you want to contribute, all you have to do is order “Oh-Snap Bins”- when you search for them make sure to type the dash between oh and snap or they won’t show up– and when you go to check out have them shipped to the hostess (ME). This saves you $4 in shipping.

I will take photos of the girls filling and sharing them so you can share in the joy.

Thanks so much for helping us spread the love!

Happy Tuesday!

xoxo

Happy Planner Spread using The Planner Society Kits

January 15, 2017

So hopefully y’all know why I decorate my planner by now. If you don’t, you can read HERE or HERE.

If you follow me on my planner Instagram (@plannerhappiness) you know this, but I don’t decorate every week. Most weeks are just plain handwriting, post-its and scribbles. But some weeks are fancy. And that brings me joy.

Here is last week’s spread.

Supplies:

The Planner Society kits (stickers, cards, tassel, floral washi, pen)

The Happy Planner®

Dear Lizzy Wood Beads

Target/Threshold Scissors

Maggie Holmes Chipboard Stickers

mt washi tape

my beloved doilies (of course)

#planner spread // via stephanie howell

Love adding bits and pieces much like I used to on my scrapbook pages!

#planner spread // via stephanie howell

flowers and doilies and washi. my fave.

#planner spread // via stephanie howell

That’s about it! I hope you like this peek into my creative week.

Also- I’ve decided to do PL again this year. Gulp. I am SO out of the scrapbooking loop BUT I think I’m going to go with the 6×8 format. Any advice?

Love you all!

xoxo

My OLW 2017 // My First Goal

January 5, 2017

So if you follow me on Instagram, none of this will be new to you. I just wanted to talk about my intentions here, too.

After a lot of thinking and list-making…I decided that my word for 2017 will be speak. If you aren’t familiar with the One Little Word concept, check out my sweet friend Ali’s website. She’s a rock star.

My Word 2017 // via Stephanie Howell

I will speak the truth without worrying about others might think- I’ve done too much of that in the past and it’s so damaging. I don’t want to be a brand or present a perfect image or watch my words and my feelings.

I will speak my heart.

I will speak up in defense of others.

I will speak up for myself when I need to take care of myself, even if everyone else needs taking care of too. I don’t have to set myself on fire to keep everyone else warm.

I will speak and connect with others every day, making eye contact and never being “too busy”. I will smile and interact.

I will continue to speak openly to my girls about the importance of kindness and compassion and how it is THEIR job to speak up too.

I’ll speak and tell my story on this blog again.

I give myself permission to speak about whatever my heart wants to speak about. I don’t want to edit or censor or be someone I’m not.

And on the flip side, my first goal of and biggest challenge of 2017 is to listen.

My Word 2017 // via Stephanie Howell

I’m self-aware and honest enough to know that I need to work on this. But to be fair… It’s not ever because I don’t care – it’s always because I’m so eager to connect. So eager to talk to someone over the age of ten and to make new friends.

I want to do better at really digesting what the person I’m speaking to says before I say what I want to say. And the loudmouth in me needs to learn that sometimes nothing at all needs to be said.

Sometimes the best thing to do is really,truly, listen. It’s not always about me. I actually don’t think it’s always about me, but I’m sure I come off that way when I’m so eager to speak.

So there you have it. Here’s to speaking up when the time is right. And here’s to a year of purposeful, thoughtful, and active listening.

Love to you all-xoxo

Top Ten(ish) Books of 2016

January 3, 2017

FTC disclosure: This post uses affiliate links. I will recieve a small commission if you purchase a book using my link. Thanks for supporting my sweet family!!

Happy New Year sweet friends! I’m so happy to be back here in this space talking to you again. Yay!

So it’s time for my roundup of my favorite books of 2016. It was a record-breaking year for me as far as reading goes…I read 89 books and found my new favorite thing in the world (see more below about that). I read some amazing books, some crappy books, some books that rocked my world, and some I’ve already forgotten about. I am a better person because of what I read!

I’m still using Goodreads to track my books. I don’t always have the energy to leave a review, but I always rate each book. If you’re wondering what I’m reading at any given time, or what I’ve loved recently…following me on Goodreads is always the best way to get that info. When I get emails, FB messages, and texts asking for book suggestions I just send my friends directly to my Goodreads profile. HA!

So above I mentioned that I found my favorite thing this past year. And that’s The Book of the Month Club. I’m OBSESSED. I currently have the six month membership and it’s worth every penny. I have never ever been disappoionted. When I am done with the book each month I donate it to local organizations. Unless I really loved it. Then I keep it!

BOTM has a couple of deals right now.

$5 for one month – expires the last day of January
3 month membership for $9.99 a month + free BOTM tote – expires the last day of January
$10 off 3 month or 12 month subscriptions with the code BOOK10- never expires

A few observations about my year of reading

BOTM rocked my world
Audible helped me reach my goals. I love listening to books while I’m driving, folding laundry, and cleaning. I don’t like to digitally read books, but I do love listening to them!
I visit the library every week and check out 5-10 books. I don’t read them all, just the ones that keep my attention.
I read a lot of YA fiction (there are a TON of YA books in my top ten-this surprised me!), a lot of historical fiction, and lost of fiction. I only read a couple of non-fiction books. That said, I am NOT a literary snob and I don’t discriminate. You’ll see YA, fiction, autobiographies, and romance/chick lit on this list. I love it all. A lot of times I like books that others don’t. Or others love books i despise. That’s okay! These books are specific to my tastes and where I was in my life when I read them.
All these books weren’t written this year.

So In no particular order, here are my favorite top ten (ish) books. I actually have a tie and a bonus book.

1. Bird Box by Josh Malerman.

I found this book after I read somewhere that it scared Stephen King. Holy crap was it good. I still think about this book and how creepy/unsettling/unique it was. It had me on the edge of my seat and I even jumped a few times. The whole premise of this book was so interesting- I’m always a fan of post-apocalyptic books and I devoured this one.

2. Along the Infinite Sea by Beatriz Williams

I read two of Williams’ books this year and didn’t realize until the second one that they were part of a trilogy and I read them out of order! It’s because this novel read so well as a stand alone. This was my favorite of the two and I’m currently working on the third, which I really don’t like as much at all. The other book was Tiny Little Secrets and I really liked it too. This book was just beautiful. It’s set in two times and places…Europe in the 30’s and America in the 60’s. Williams is a little bit cheesy as an author but it’s endearing. This was a great read.

3. Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy

Oh.My.Word did I LOVE Dumplin’. It’s technically YA but boy did it resound with me. It’s all about loving yourself and Dolly Parton- even when you don’t look like everyone else thinks you should. It’s a gem of a book and the author’s writing style reminds me a bit of Mary Kay Andrews- I laughed out loud in a couple of spots. It’s just a feel good, authentic read and I adored it- of course it helped that I’m a Texas girl and this book is set in Texas!

4. Like a River from Its Course by Kelli Stuart

Full disclosure- my college sorority sister wrote this book. And thank God I didn’t have to lie about loving it, ha!

This book broke my heart and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m so sorry to say that I didn’t know any thing about Kiev and Babi Yar before I read this book. Sigh. It was so all encompassing, I just couldn’t put it down. Easily my favorite historical fiction novel of all time. Kelli really did her research and you can tell the book is a labor of love. I fell in love with each character for different reasons and I have thought about them every day since I finished the book. This one is a must read.

5. All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

Another YA read! I loved this book but it broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. I cried my face off at the end.It deals with some pretty heavy topics like depression and suicide and it was hard to read at times. But I thought it was written so beautifully and it really stuck with me.

6. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon

Oh man, if you are going to read one YA book this year, read this one. Now. It’s quirky and weird and funny and adorable. It talks about immigration and race and fate and science. I know. It sounds so random but it is SO SO GOOD. I didnt’ want i to end.

7. Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys

I read two books by Sepetys this year and I gave them both five stars- Salt to the Sea and Out of the Easy. I thought about putting both in my top ten, but this one won by a tiny margin.

I truly had no idea that this was a YA historical fiction book until WAY after I finished it. Seriously. I happened to see it in the YA section at the library after I read it and I thought it was shelved in the wrong spot!

There is absolutely no reason an adult can’t read, love, and learn from this book. This book is beautiful, tragic, and inspiring. Set during WW2, the book tells the story of a maritime disaster I literally had no idea about. I really don’t want to spoil the book, so I’ll just encourage you to read it. It’s outstanding.

8. The Feathered Bone by Julie Cantrell

Ooof. This was another tough one to read. It deals with some really dark topics, like depression, loss of a child, abuse, and sex trafficking. But more than that it is a story of hope, forgiveness, and strength. It’s set in New Orleans (pre-Katrina) and the city is like a living character in the book. That’s part of what drew me to it. It broke my heart. I had to put the book down in one particular part and just SOB.

I don’t read Christian fiction often. I just don’t find it realistic. It was so nice to read a book that addresses real issues. Dark issues…without glossing them over.

9. Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult

Oh boy was this a good one. Probably my favorite Picoult book. I found this book so relevant and timely. Ruth is a black labor and delivery nurse who is ordered not to touch a white newborn baby. She finds out that the baby’s parents are White Supremacists. Random circumstances lead her to be left alone in the nursery with the baby when he stops breathing. As always, Picoult’s books are about moral and ethical dilemmas. But this one goes much deeper. I honestly learned so much from reading this book.

10. One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid

It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover

Number ten is a tie, and both are romances.

One True Loves is a tear-jerker of a love story in which the main character realizes that the love of her life, who she thought was dead, is indeed alive. The problem is that she is happily with the second love of her life. The story is sweet and funny and sad and realistic and I adored it.

It Ends with Us seems like it will be fluffy but it’s so much more than that. I love Colleen Hoover. I love to read her books when I’m looking for something fun, sexy, and light. I did NOT expect her latest book to deal with abuse. But it ended up being my favorite CoHo book ever. Disclosure: Her books are cheesy, romantic, and unbelievable in spots. For me, that just contributes to my enjoyment!!!

Bonus:

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah

I’m technically cheating here because I finished this book on January 1. I was only like 50 pages away from finishing in on New Year’s Eve. GAH!

I listened to this on on Audible AND read the hardback (Jimmy gave it to me for Christmas).

The Audible version is pretty much amazing because Trevor narrates it and his accent is everything. He actually speaks eight different freaking languages and you hear many of them throughout the book. Incredible!

So how to describe this book? It’s full of hysterical, sad, and unbelievable anecdotes from Trevor’s life in apartheid South Africa. He is seven years younger than I am but has been through one hundred times more than I could ever imagine. The things he’s seen, heard, and dealt with are mind-blowing. And his mom is the definition of #mom goals.

It doesn’t matter if you are a Republican or Democrat and it doesn’t matter whether you watch The Daily Show. You won’t regret reading this.

So there you have it! Whew! What a post! I hope you enjoyed it- Happy Tuesday!

xoxo

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