Stephanie Howell

Reading Recap // November 2017

December 1, 2017

*This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you.I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Thank you so much for helping to support my little family!

So my November reading count is WAY lower than last month. Like a third of the amount of books I read last month. Want to know why? Just read my last post and that’s why. I’m pouring my energy into other things (namely taking care of myself) and that means less downtime during the day and pure exhaustion by bedtime. I’m unable to keep my eyes open to even read a chapter. And that’s okay. Any reading at all brings me joy!

I’d characterize this as a pretty meh reading month. Lots of okay but not much “knock my socks off”. But there’s always next month and the month after that. Hooray for books, they never go away!

Moving on, here’s what I read for November. As always you can keep up with my real-time reading on Goodreads and Instagram.

The Alice Network // Kate Quinn

This was a solid four maybe 4 1/2 stars for me. At times I wanted it to be a five star read but it just wasn’t quite there. I loved loved loved the story of Eve even though parts of her story were so difficult to read. Unfortunately, I didn’t like the story of Charlie as much and I felt like it kind of detracted from the storyline. I have to admit that I did love Finn though, so I guess I was hot and cold when it came to Charlie’s story.

☆☆☆☆

What Remains of Me // Allison Gaylin

I just never fully got into this one. It seemed so disjointed and had wayyyyy too many coincidences. I really dislike it when an author tries too hard to add surprise twists.

☆☆

The Dry // Jane Harper

This book was really intriguing to me although honestly it dragged a bit. Maybe dragged isn’t the right word. A slow burn? No pun intended. The setting is as much a character as Aaron is and I was completely fascinated by it. I wasn’t FULLY engaged or engrossed but I found it highly enjoyable and suspenseful (and sad!) and I’m looking forward to the next book in the series.

☆☆☆☆

What to Say Next // Julie Buxbaum

I LOVE Julie Buxbaum. Tell Me Three Things was one of my favorite YA reads of 2017. I suspected I’d adore this one too, and my suspicion was correct. This story was quirky and big-hearted and sweet. I felt so much empathy for both main characters and I loved learning more about them. I also adore the fact that the “mean kids” didn’t win in the end.

☆☆☆☆ 1/2

Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore // Matthew Sullivan

Okay, warning. This one is a little jarring. I don’t know what I expected from the cover. A bookish mystery? Nope. The bookstore actually plays a very small role in this story. What DOES happen? I don’t want to give it away but let’s just say it starts with a suicide. And contains a scene so gruesome that I literally had trouble sleeping after reading it. And I still think about that scene every night before I go to sleep. This book was pretty dark. But I was completely sucked into Lydia’s dark world. I thought at time the characters weren’t quite developed…I can always tell this is the case when I can’t “picture” them, if that makes sense. Also, I got really annoyed at the author’s overuse of the word “comrades”.

solid ☆☆☆☆

December Book Selections

❃ Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman – I didn’t order this one because I own it on Audible but GO ORDER IT NOW. NOW. Don’t spend any time waffling, just choose this one. It’s been in my heart every single day since I read it. It was a 5 star book for me, if you’d like to see my review click HERE

❃ The English Wife by Lauren Willig – this one is on the way to me

❃ The Chalk Man by C.J. Tudor

❃ The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen – this one is on the way to me

❃ The City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty

Deals:

Gift a subscription to Book of the Month and get a free book for yourself

Small Admissions // The Forgetting Time // The Women in the Castle // The Atlas of Forgotten Places // The Reason You’re Alive

Now tell ME- what did you read in November and do you recommend anything? My TBR pile would be nothing without y’all!

Happy Friday-

xoxo

Grace vs. Accountability

November 30, 2017

Shirt purchased from Ali Edwards

So listen y’all there’s been a struggle going on in my heart and my life lately. And I haven’t talked about it here…well because I haven’t talked about much of anything here and also because I haven’t talked to ANYONE about it.

But I’ve been going over and over it in my head.

GRACE VS. ACCOUNTABILITY.

Specifically using the former as an excuse for the latter.

I’ve been walking a thin line between being gentle with myself and giving myself grace and not holding myself accountable or taking care of myself. I’ve used the give yourself grace, girl! line to give myself an excuse. Lots of excuses actually. Every excuse in the book on repeat. And others (meaning well) gave me the power to believe these excuses because every time I spoke about wanting to feel and look better someone told me “Girl, you’ve had five kids!” “You’ve had TWINS!” “Love yourself just the way you are!” or “Be gentle with yourself!”.

The truth is-

When you are taking care of everyone but yourself…

Eating whatever you want, whenever you want…without regard to healthiness or if it’s 10:00 at night…when your girls bake cookies and you eat six or when you make mac and cheese for your girls and then stand at the stove and eat what’s left in the pot (and it’s a LOT)…well then there’s a problem.

I couldn’t reach my toes. My hair was starting to fall out again. Yes. I’ve had lab work done. It’s not my thyroid or my levels of whatever. It’s my life choices, y’all.

My skin was getting bad again, I couldn’t take my wedding ring off of my finger, and I was waking up more tired than when I went to sleep. My back and hip and knee was hurting and I was having stomach issues and ocular migraines. I was having to take a nap literally every single day. And I was NOT being a very nice mama.

I thought I was good b/c I was going to the YMCA and taking group classes 2-3 times a week. Truth? Not enough. Not when I was undoing all of that work by eating whatever I chose (and I mean literally NO thought to what I was eating and how much of it I was eating) and drinking wine every night…yeah. Not much progress happening there.

Listen up friends. It’s not about a number on a scale. I will never be the same as I was at 25. I’ve had five children. I’ve changed. Yes, I know that thin isn’t the goal. And that muscles don’t equal a lower number on the goal. I’ve got all that.

I promise. I’ve got it. I have a very healthy relationship with food and a positive self image for the most part.

But that number? It does matter. A little bit. It matters because it is showing me right now that I gave up on myself about 11 years ago. And that’s not who I am. That’s not who I want to show my girls. I don’t want to tell them to pour themselves so much into someone else that they forget about themselves.

Here’s a hard truth. When I can’t keep up with my girls or bend over to tie my shoes or paint my toenails without my midsection getting in the way…when I feel like crap all the time..there’s a problem.

When I’m hiding (in photos, behind flowy clothing, literally in the back of the room)…there’s a problem.

But, you see, I have five little girls watching me. I refuse to count and restrict and obsess and scrutinize. Food is not the enemy. It’s not a reward or a punishment. It’s fuel. I forgot that. I lost that. I stopped caring about that.

It has affected me. My happiness, my mood, my soul. And it has affected my marriage, because the way you feel about your body has the power to do that. Those are hard words to type but they are true.

2 weeks ago I decided something had to change.

No more

But I’ve had five kids!
But I need to give myself grace
But I need to be gentle with myself.

Yep. Those things had turned into deflections, excuses, pretty words. Nothing more. They were getting in the way of me taking care of ME. I had a choice. At 40 years old I could either continue to internally obsess, debate, excuse myself, and feel miserable OR change it. If I just continued to do nothing I figured I’d eventually just give up and decide that this was just the way I was going to feel the rest of my life. Slow and tired and unhappy and hurting.

Progress > Perfection

What am I doing? I downloaded Kayla Itsines’ BBG plan. It’s basically just circuit training/reminds me of my CrossFit days minus the competition. I follow it religiously. I also still take Body Pump and Spin at the gym.

As a FAMILY we have started making better food choices. Jimmy is making this change with me too and I’m so grateful for his support.

Whole, clean, paleo, whatever you call it… I mean honestly I am just PAYING ATTENTION to what I’m eating. For the first time in my life. And the change in the way I FEEL? Well it was literally almost instantaneous. I don’t think I ever ate breakfast. Or noticed that I was snacking on crap almost all day. It feels so good to just pay attention to ME.

Someone please tell me why it took me 40 years to learn this?

So why am I putting this out there? I guess it’s a way to hold myself accountable. And also connect with those of you who are struggling with the same thing.

Grace is being dang proud that I can only do ten pushups on my knees vs. not being able to do one a year ago. Grace is NOT allowing myself to wilt and become a shadow of myself meanwhile accepting that that’s just who I am now.

Grace is having cheat days and eating the damn cookie when my girls come to me with cookies they made. It’s NOT allowing myself to eat whatever crap I want because I’m a mom of five.

Have any of you ever realized you were using something as an excuse? How long did it take you to realize it and what did you do to change it? Please tell me I’m not the only late bloomer out there.

If you are reading this and you are in the same boat as I am…I want to tell you something. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. But it is IMPORTANT to be your best self and feel like your best self. If you want to change, I am 100 percent behind you and I won’t feed you excuses or make you feel bad if you say you want to be different. I won’t tell you to be kind to yourself or go easy or make you feel like you aren’t accepting yourself. Well unless you are talking ugly to yourself. You’ve gotta love yourself even when you are feeling yucky.

I have your back. Fully.

Whew! That was a brain dump.

Love to you all!

xoxo

Quick Share Friday

November 17, 2017

FIRST– Let me name the two winners from my last post! Sorry it took so long… Jimmy’s been in the UK and I’m on the hot mess express again. ALL ABOARD!

1) Caanan

2) Nicole H

WOOHOO!! Please email me your addresses. Stephaniehowell8(at)gmail(dot)com

Today will be super fast, I wanted to get back to sharing regularly here so I thought I’d do another edition of Quick Share Friday. Every Friday I will do a quick share of something creative. It might be a planner spread, a scrapbook page, a Heidi Swapp Storyline page, or a page from my Happy Planner Memory Keeping System. It might even be something I bought or found that I want to share with you all.

This week I’m sharing some friends who are inspiring me creatively lately.

1. Mel Blackburn- if you are looking for December Daily inspiration or PL inspiration (or any inspiration at all!) then Mel is your girl. She astounds me with her boundless creativity and energy for MAKING. Follow her HERE on IG or HERE on her blog.

2. Marie Lottermoser- I discovered Marie recently and obsessed would be a massive understatement, ha! I basically pin and screenshot everything she makes. You can follow her on her BLOG or IG.

3. April Orr- April is my planning cursh. Girl is out of this world organized and her handwriting is to die for! Follow her on IG HERE.

4. Julie Kinneeveauk/Plan2Create- My other planner guru. I’m always thinking “what would Julie do??”. Her videos are incredibly helpful and her IG is my happy place. IG/YouTube

5. Maggie Massey – I could honestly pick the entire Heidi Swapp team here, but I’ll get to them next time. I could do an entire blog post just on that team! Maggie always has fresh, lovely projects and I always feel so inspired after looking at them. Blog/ IG

Whew! It was HARD choosing just five. There are so many amazing women inspiring me DAILY. I’ll just have to make sure to share more often!

How about you? Who’s making you feel creative and excited to make something?

Have a beautiful weekend!

xoxo

Random Stuff- Giveaway in #5!

November 6, 2017

i took this photo on my front porch. it makes me SO happy!

Wow y’all! I was on a blogging kick until I just…wasn’t. Oh well! Not gonna dwell on it! I’m just gonna jump right back in. I’ve found in the past that the best thing to get me back is just to write. And really, who doesn’t love a nice rambly post? Okay…probably lots of people. I was reading the other day how much people dislike blogs and how they can’t bring them to READ SO MUCH. And as a reader y’all know that made me really sad.

Well I’m going to write anyway. You won’t offend me if you skip over my paragraphs and think tl;dr to yourself. I’m just going to keep on keeping on and doing what brings me JOY.

♡♡♡♡

1. I’m so excited to be a guest teacher for May Flaum’s class True Story. In my portion of the class I share favorite all-time projects and talk about memory keeping. What it means to me, mistakes I’ve made in the past, what works for me now vs. what worked in the past, my creed and mantra, etc. I poured my heart into it a little bit and I I love how it turned out. If you’d like to register you can CLICK HERE. I’ll be giving away a spot on IG very soon, so make sure to follow there! Please let me know if you sign up!

♡♡♡♡

2. Y’all. I met my Goodreads Reading Goal last week! I read my 95th book of 2017 and I’m pretty proud of myself. I cannot get over how revolutionary 2017 has been for reading. Such an amazing year.

♡♡♡♡

3. Do you guys think this will be the year I actually complete a December Daily album? Hmmmm. Forget the memory keeping aspect, I’m just dying to use this gorgeous Jasmine Jones December Daily kit I bought!

♡♡♡♡

4. My sweet friend Elise has a new online class called Encouraging Creative Kids. She always inspires me so much with how she finds creative time for her and her girls. That’s something I REALLY need to work on. I’m enrolled in the class and hope to find some time this weekend to work through it. And TAKE NOTES. Honestly, I’m so lax in this department lately. Harper and Sadie will say “MOM! Remember when we did fun art all the time?”. Gahhhh I used to be so much more Pinteresting! I can’t wait to dig in and take some notes from the fabulous Elise. For more info, click HERE.

♡♡♡♡

5. I’m so happy to be creating regularly again. I’ve joined the creative team over at Studio Calico and I’m also their new planner coordinator. I’m running the planner IG and I will have some fun things coming up soon. I’d love for you to follow if you are so inclined! You can follow HERE. Let me know if you followed. I’d love to send one of you a little prize for supporting me! Just comment here and let me know your IG handle. I’ll send one or two of you some SC goodies.

Okay, that’s it for today. Kind of random and all over the place but I’m just happy I’m writing! I hope you have a beautiful and blessed week.

xoxo

Reading Recap // October 2017

November 2, 2017

*This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you.I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Thank you so much for helping to support my little family!

WHAT.A.MONTH!

I mean seriously. What a month for reading! I read fourteen books and listened to one , and three of them were five stars! I met my Goodreads reading goal and exceeded it! This was an excellent month for reading.

Whew! Let’s get started.

Sold // Patricia McCormick

So heavy and scary and sad and eye-opening. Not an easy read, but an important one. Every page broke my heart. I wish I could just save all of these sweet girls.

☆☆☆☆

On Second Thought // Kristan Higgins

I LOVE Kristan Higgins. I read her books when my heart and brain just need a BREAK and I want to relax and just enjoy a book. This one fits the bill perfectly. I loved it so much that I hunted down the other books that take place in Cambry on Hudson. Spoiler alert- this one is the best one. I loved the characters and their chemistry and I truly cared about them and what happened to them!

☆☆☆☆

One Perfect Lie // Lisa Scottoline

This one was super fast paced. I read it in a day. I felt like the beginning of the book was fantastic. There was a great twist and I was starting to really like the characters. The second half of the book was just kind of like a hot mess to me. The characters were never really developed and the end scene was absolutely ridiculously dramatic.I think I would like to check out other books by this author though.

☆☆ 3/4

Never Let You Go // Chevy Stevens

This one is a great dark and twisty read. It was super suspensful and deeply messed up in parts. It definitely got my heart pounding and the pages turning quickly. I always really enjoy Chevy Stevens.

☆☆ ☆☆

Do Not Become Alarmed //Maile Meloy

I heard SO MUCH BUZZ about this one and it the reviews were mixed. I have to say I really enjoyed it. I didn’t love the characters ( a couple were pretty self absorbed) but I certainly didn’t dislike them as much as I’ve seen others say they did. I always like books that make a mundane, safe situation suddenly dangerous.

☆☆ ☆ 1/2

What I Lost // Alexandra Ballard.

I really liked this sad and sweet YA novel. As a mother of five girls I am SO TERRIFIED of eating disorders and the impact they make on men and women’s lives and the lives of those who love them. This quick read gave me some good insight into the demons the main character faced. I wish there was a bit more diversity in the characters, but other than that it was just right. It’s a cautionary and educational tale of an anorexic facing heartbreak and hope.

☆☆ ☆ ☆

My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward // Mark Lukah

I always feel super weird reviewing memoirs because who am I to rate someone’s life story? I have no right to. I will say that this book wasn’t my favorite. I learned so much about the struggles of those who deal with mental illnesses and the hell that they walk through every day. However, this book was kind of all over the place and scattered. I wish the best for this couple and I think that it was really brave of them to share their story.

Jamie Ford // Love and Other Consolation Prizes

I have to start by saying that I snatched this book right up when I saw it at the library. I LOVED Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet and I assumed I’d love this one too.

I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know much about this chapter in history and I learned so much and cried quite a bit reading this novel. Jamie Ford is the king of covering really sad parts of our history and wrapping them in hope and love. This book was just a gem and I can’t recommend it enough.

☆☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Every Last Lie // Mary Kubika

There is nothing worse than a cluless, dense, helpless female main character and UGH does Clara ever fit the bill. She annoyed the crap out of me. It drove me nuts that she was constantly jumping to conclusions and I thought it was really messed up that she didn’t tell her daughter something that she REALLY should have told her from the very beginning.

☆ ☆

Turtles All the Way Down // John Green

Oh John Green, how I love thee. I’ve been (not so) patiently waiting for you to write another book and Turtles did not disappoint. Oh how I loved this book. I flew right through it and then immediately wanted to start over from the beginning to really savor it. Sigh. Aza is fierce and brave and strong and complicated broken and oh she taught me so so much about anxiety. I can’t even tell you how much she taught me. Just go read this book. Now. Okay?

☆☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Castle of Water // Dane Huckelbridge

Y’ALL. Y’all. Y’all. Y’alllllll. Maybe I should start by telling you that when I finished this book I was crying so hard that Jimmy almost had to pull the car over. I’m not kidding. It broke me. BROKE ME. This book is so dang good. And so much to take, I thought my heart might burst. My only issue is that Huckelbridge wrapped the end up wayyyy too fast. I wish he would have slowed down a little bit because it was a little jarring. But I loved it so much. I loved the characters, I loved the story, I loved the setting.

☆☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

If You Only Knew // Kristan Higgins

Remember above when I said that I read other books by Higgins that were set in Cambry on Hudson? This is the one I was talking about. It’s just fine. It’s sweet and entertaining and bland. It just didn’t wow me.

☆☆ 1/2

Here and Gone // Haylen Beck

This one was super intriguing for me. It’s interesting because we know both sides of the story the entire time. So the suspense doesn’t come from trying to figure out what’s going to happen, it comes from wanting Audra to get justice, and boy does your heart pound along with hers. It’s not easy subject matter but if you like fast-paced crime thrillers, this one’s a good one.

☆☆☆☆

Bonfire // Kristyn Ritter

This was one of my BOTM picks for November. I don’t know what I expected Krysten to be like as an author, but she definitely exceeded my expectations. This book made me want to learn more about her because she’s kinda awesome. I really enjoyed this story of a girl going back to her past even though it haunts her greatly. My only problem with the book is that sometimes it got a bit too deep into “legalese” and made the plot drag a bit. I did find it easy to read and it kept my interest the entire time, it was fast-paced and intriguing.

☆☆☆1/2

The Secrets She Keeps // Michael Robotham

This was my lone Audible book for the month. I definitely reccomend it in the audio format. It was super creepy and hard to fathom, but I also ended up feeling so very sad for Agatha. I had a pretty big issue with Meghan. I thought it was repugnant that she punished her husband for her crime when she did what she did with Simon. Made me like her a LOT less. That said, this is an excellent thriller.

☆☆☆☆

For November I chose:

Bonfire // Kristyn Ritter (see review above). Fans of Chevy Stevens and Karin Slaughter will like this one.

The Rules of Magic // Alice Hoffman. I’m a quarter of the way through this one and I really love it. No, I haven’t read Practical Magic and I’m still enjoying it. Although now I have to go back and read it. I didn’t even realized this was a sequel when I ordered it! Fans of The Night Circus and A Million Junes willl enjoy this one.

Artemis // Andy Weir- I got this one because Jimmy LOVED The Martian and I thought he might enjoy this one too. I’ll let you know what I think after I read it.

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This month was CRAZY!