Top

Stephanie Howell

reading, organizing, shopping, momming too close to the sun. Home is wherever the Army sends us.

*love*ly things – elise blaha guest post – love+deployments

i have known elise for a long time. i am so proud of how she has handled paul’s first deployment…with grace,honesty,and strength. i know you will all fall in love with her just like i have. i can’t wait for the day i see elise+paul reunited. they are both very blessed to have each other.

happy monday-

xoxo

s

♥♥♥♥♥♥

I am so excited to be joining in on Stephanie’s LOVEly things month. I have read this blog for ages and have always admired Stephanie’s strength and positive attitude as she dealt with Jimmy’s deployments. I didn’t realize those early days that I’d eventually end up married to a deployed military man and going through some of the same things. Life is funny like that.

Stephanie asked me to write today about how I have shared love with my husband, Paul, over the past six and a half months while he’s been deployed to Afghanistan.


The first thing that I have to say and perhaps my favorite part about love is that every relationship is different.

What works for some couples doesn’t work for others. And that’s awesome. That’s what makes us unique as people and what makes some couples really click. Paul and I are a very “clicked” pair.

We are on the same wavelength and have been for years. No one gets me quite like Paul and because of that, I was so nervous about the time we’d spend apart. And then I became more scared when I started getting advice from all angles about how to make it work.

It was impossible to prepare for that first deployment when I didn’t know what to expect. So I sort of blocked out all the incoming information and reminded myself that it was about just the two of us.

And then Paul left.

I remember so clearly standing in that airport. I expected to break down. That’s a lie. I expected a full panic attack shut down. And then something crazy happened. Paul lost it. My Paul, my rock, lost it. That snapped me back pretty quick (have you ever noticed that only one partner can panic at any given time? The other always shifts into “comfort-mode.”) and I knew Paul needed me as much as I needed him.

I also realized right there, in the international terminal of LAX, that this was going to be 100 times harder for Paul then me. He was going out into a scary place where he knew no one. He was going to be responsible for the health of 700 service men and women. He was going to face extreme weather and homesickness. He was stepping off into the real unknown. That was an important perspective shift.

I made it my mission to show Paul love and support. Since he has been gone, I have mailed him over 120 cards.

I scoured etsy for cards that would make him smile. I found funny cards, supportive cards and a few R-rated cards. I sent a card almost every day, with long letters scrawled into each. I always ended with a variation of : “You’re awesome. I love you. I miss you. Be safe.”

We have also exchanged thousands of emails. I email him links to funny news stories. I email him hilarious tweets from famous people. I email him photos of the random stuff I see while I am walking around. I do my best to share the daily stuff.

I know that it’s the mundane details that he misses the most.

And sometimes I just type my daydreams. Plans for the future. Plans for next summer. We have been making arrangements for a road trip as soon as he’s home. Talking about that stuff gives us something to look forward to and is a reminder that we’re not stuck apart forever.

Cardphoto

Paul celebrated his 29th birthday while deployed. And I wanted to do something that would make him feel like he wasn’t alone.

I kept thinking about how people would see on facebook that it was his birthday and they’d write on his wall. I liked the concept of people showing love, but I wanted it to mean more than just a line in his email inbox.

So I emailed our friends and all of our extended families and had them send birthday cards for him to me. Then I gathered all the cards and stuck them in a box that said “Don’t open until December 15th.”

We were able to video chat as he opened the box filled with an outpouring of love and support and birthday wishes. He was surprised and overwhelmed, like I hoped he would be.
He opened the cards over a period of about a week and told me again and again how much it meant to him.

Ep1
Spending any amount of time apart from the person you love is hard. Spending months away is that much harder. But there isn’t another choice.

I love Paul.

And Paul is who he is because he signed up to be a doctor with the US Navy. I have not been perfect in dealing with this. I have broken down over the phone or email a few times and I know that has made Paul’s time away more difficult. But most days, I have stayed upbeat because it is so much better for us both.

I love Paul more today than I did on August 5th in the LAX terminal. I am so proud of him. I am SO excited to throw my arms around him and welcome him back.

He works so hard for our family, our future and for our country. I know a bunch of cards can’t make up for that. But I also know that he knows I love him and am rooting for him, praying for him and supporting him everyday. And I think that helps.

Ep4

Elise Blaha Cripe is a crafter and blogger who lives in Southern California. She has been in love with Paul for almost six years and married for almost two. She is anxiously waiting for his return and in the meantime has been turning her house into a craft museum. You can connect with her on her blog,twitter or pinterest.

Comments

  5. Loved reading this – thanks for sharing! I cannot imagine what it’s like to go through this, and admire you both, and every other man and woman that has to go through it.

  6. Elise, I love you on your blog, but this post, here at Stephanie’s? AWESOME! What a lovely post about you and your Paul. What I love about reading Stephanie’s posts is how much her love for her Jimmy comes across, and your post ranks right up there with hers: full of emotion, the pain and the love, the hope and the fear, etc.
    Love how you can express your feelings with words. I struggle with that on a daily basis. It’s easy to say “I love you” but after that? Not so much.
    Counting the days with you ’til Paul’s return…

  9. Elise is awesome, as is her blog, and all of her crafty & decorating adventures. What a great guest post!

  10. this is beautiful elise! i love how committed you are to sending SO many letters. that is amazing! i know that paul must love looking forward to mail delivery! thinking of you both and so thankful to both of you for your service and sacrifice! (another military wife here!!!)

  12. What a “sweet” post. Your two blogs are my go-to’s each day! Love that you worked together on this one.

  13. My best friend’s man just left for OCS so this post was a little overwhelming for me.
    Love endures.
    That’s pretty beautiful.

  15. LOVE the guest blogger! How awesome! These deployments get to us so much, and sometimes I think as wives we may lose sight of how hard it is on *them*. Great blog!! 🙂 ((HUGS))

  16. wow, that was beautiful. i love elise’s blog. I can’t wait for her man to get home and smiles across her face…well after all the hugs and KISSESS:)

  18. I love Elise’s blog and it’s so clear how much she and Paul love each other. I can’t wait to read about his homecoming when it happens! I’m glad you featured Elise because now I’ve discovered your blog too 🙂

  20. What a completely love-ly post!! I LOVE to hear stories of other wives who completely adore their husbands! The love and support of a military wife for her deployed husband is unmatched. Our soldier husbands are the BEST, and I know that Paul loves you oodles and oodles, too!!

  23. I love to read such positive stories about couples in love! This made me cry because it reminded me of my husband’s deployments. My husband deployed six times before we were married, but the 7th deployment (after we married) was the first time he almost lost it…the first time he wasn’t looking forward to going. He had to be the strong one for me that day (I had broken down every day for the last month prior to deployment), but I could tell he was hurting too. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you both for sharing. I am looking forward to reading about his return! I know what a happy day it will be!! 🙂
    ~Molly

  25. What a beautiful post – I read Elise’s blog and by the sounds of the comments here and on her blog there are readers all around the world looking forward to Paul coming home 🙂 All the best Elise.

  26. so amazing. i read and re-read this post 3 times. this is why i read elise’s blog…this post made me happy instead of sad. i am smiling after reading this. a positive attitude really helps make any situation better.

  28. my hubby is in flight school with the army right now and i fear the day deployment becomes a reality. but, it’s people like elise that help me realize it is all going to be okay. and that positive thoughts and attitude can make all the difference! thanks for sharing!

  29. A very sweet post! My husband isn’t in the military, but it’s a good reminder to support him in what he’s doing – thank you for sharing!

  35. This story was as sweet as yours was. I love all this and how wonderful for her. I can’t imagine going thru all you do and my heart and admiration goes out to all of you.