Top

Stephanie Howell

reading, organizing, shopping, momming too close to the sun. Home is wherever the Army sends us.

ramble.

I miss blogging regularly. I do. I’m not the same when I don’t do it.

So here I am. Not sure what I want to say or where this is going,but I really feel like need to blog.

So here I am.

What’s on my mind? A million things right now.

First and foremost, Italy. Thank you all so much for sharing in our excitement.

I feel like I’m going to be that crazy American lady that just weeps everwhere I go.

The Vatican? sob. David? sob The Sistine Chapel? sob.

I mean really…I need to invest in a bunch of sunglasses because I’m going to be a disaster.

Every day I wake up and pinch myself. I can’t even believe we are going to live in Europe for (what might turn out to be) 3 years.

I know it’s going to be beautiful.

It’s also going to be frustrating. And different. And infuriating at times. Lots of times I’m going to feel homesick.

But come on…It’s ITALY. I WILL BE HAVING A BAD DAY IN ITALY.

Yeah. It’s going to be awesome.

And I get completely overwhelmed every time I think about moving to another country.

But.

Every little thing gonna be alright.


Another thing on my mind…simplifying.

This has been on my heart for a long time, but this move to Italy is solidifying it and giving me the kick in the pants i need.

We have too much stuff.

I think that’s a bit natural…with four kids and the amount of places we’ve lived, but the fact is that it’s too much.

And it weighs us down every time we move. So we are sorting,purging,and giving. We will be having a massive yard sale this spring.

I don’t want to take a bunch of crap to Italy. I’ve already purged my scrapbooking supplies. I have just what I need and want to use. I’m not overwhelmed when I want to create. I’m happy.

I want the rest of the house to be that way. When we move we will be selling one car and paring down to the essentials.

So excited.
I had an epiphany recently. I need to do better at being present.

I want to enjoy each day with my children. I want to play with them, but also do the things I need to get done. It’s a balancing game.

And recently they scales have tipped towards getting my stuff done. I’d love to be all superior and say my children don’t watch TV. But that would be a lie.

They do. And lately It’s been too much. And I decided it was high time I change that.

More playing. More science experiments. More reading. More art.

More messes.

More exhaustion (for me) at the end of the day.Much more planning every morning.

Less blogging,cleaning,creating. No creating actually. Zero scrapbooking.

It took me two days to write this post.

But my girls are happier. I can tell. They are more engaged. Less frustrated.

Italy is going to change our world in this regard too. We are going to learn so much. But not through our television.

For now? Everything in moderation. I just need to make sure the scales don’t slip the other way again. Does that make sense?

Does motherhood ever get easy? Does it ever stop feeling like a guessing game?

I’m thinking not.

Okay. I’m done with the rambling. Told you I needed to blog!

Hopefully I’ll “see” you all again this week.

xoxo

S

Comments

  1. Can i tell you that i think you are incredibly brave? i am overwhelmed right now with moving and my kids are older and we are simply changing neighborhoods. Your positive outlook and sense of adventure will see you well throughout all of your amazing changes! good for you, girlfriend! and yes, mothering in some ways DOES get easier…mine don’t require “planning” or activities, and are so busy with school and sports they rarely watch TV…now my mothering is all about making sure they aren’t texting while driving, clean uniforms, pants that are long enough, and enough food in the house! “see” you soon!

  3. The international move will be fine! Trust me. We moved from New Zealand to Singapore with our four month old daughter and it was fine. Better than fine. Amazing! We came with almost no stuff and moved into a furnished apartment. We have too much stuff now (3 years later) and as we are thinking of moving again later in the year (across town or back to New Zealand or maybe somewhere new) we are at that same purge point as you are. Your girls will flourish in Italy. They will absorb the new experiences and culture like little sponges and they will be more accepting of change and difference than ever before. I totally hear you on the mothering vs getting stuff done front. I am definitely in the too much tv place at present but we are working on it. And don’t worry about being very emotional in Italy – the Italians love emotion and will embrace you if you are moved by their home. I think you needed my One Little Word for this year – adventure. Looking forward to your next installment.

  5. What an amazing experience it will be! The girls will all come back bilingual. Kids learn so fast and aren’t afraid were we adults worry we might pronounce it incorrectly or say the wrong words, kids are fearless. I envy you being there not getting ready to move. We will probably be moving into a smaller place in a few years and talk about “STUFF” we have lived in the same house for almost 40 years. It will be a year long garage sale to downsize.

  6. I’m so excited for you!!!
    We took our (at the time) three little kids to Germany and it was fabulous!
    We traveled, we learned (some) of the language, we lived in the village. It
    was amazing.
    And, our little family became so close, and so strong, and so able to overcome
    and make do in any circumstance. This will be such an amazing experience
    for your family.
    When do you go? Can’t wait to follow your adventure!
    -Janell

  7. Motherhood is so very hard.
    it’s so easy to tip the scales the other way.
    I notice a BIG difference in my girls when I am
    laughing, talking and being silly with them.
    Mine are 11 and 13 now, so it’s a bit different, but I notice
    still that when I ask Ava to cook with me or make a point to go up and
    rub Savannah’s back when she’s studying, these are the things that bind us together.
    We are moving in 3 weeks and I know just what you mean about paring back.
    We JUST MOVED in June and I had purged A LOT, but I am getting rid of even MORE
    stuff and just being BRUTAL with what I am getting rid of. it’s freeing, it really is!
    I have found out just what is important to me in this last 6 months and I don’t ever want to lose sight of that
    again, stuff is NOT important!
    I AM OVER THE MOOON FOR YOU GUYS for your move to Italy!
    so jealous, but in a good way. I can learn about it all through YOU!
    I cannot WAIT to see the pictures through your eyes and your journey!
    Steph, you are an AMAZINg mom, wife and friend
    and I wish you the best of life has to offer!
    Love,
    Tara

  10. Wow…. What an adventure that will be! I can’t wait to read all about it! Sounds exciting and scary at the same time. I can imagine all the emotions you must be going through right now. PS; I too want to go to your yard sale…. :o)

  11. I am so so happy for you and excited! Wow! THREE years in Italy??!!! Didn’t realize it would be that long. Yes, some serious homesick I am sure at times, but like you said, it’s Italy! 🙂 It will be an amazing adventure!!! It is one place I have wanted to go (so has my 15 yr old). We can live vicariously through you. 🙂
    Motherhood never gets any easier. It really is hard. It is also very easy to tip the scale too much one way or the other. I am still struggling with that one, after 25 yrs. But, times and society has changed so much in the last 25 yrs since my first was born. And with each of my three children in a different decade there have been lots of changes. I question myself a lot with the younger two. Life certainly was simpler, times were so much simpler in the 80’s. This mama still has a lot of old fashioned values and ways and beliefs.

  12. I like that you’re pursuing simplicity and balance – such wonderful things! Thanks for sharing!

  13. Beautiful post Stephanie. And I think you are am amazing wife, mother and woman to be tackling an overseas move with four little ones. I have one – a 14-month-old – and the possibility of moving cross country with him makes me anxious. You are truly amazing. I wish you the best of luck with the purge – I need to do the same!

  14. O Steph 🙂 how super exciting for your wee family! Can’t wait to keep up with this new chapter in your life. I know you will make the most of every opportunity and experience. Be safe.
    Vicky (NZ)

  15. Steph, wow, i am here to tell you that the first year will be fun, Crazy, Wild, you will miss your family and friends and you will miss them the whole time you are away and at times it will be hard BUT you and your family will learn and experience sooo much, so much that you couldnt even put a price on it. I expect Harper and SAdie will be fluent in Italian by the the time you leave how cool is that, children learn so quickly as you know. And when it all gets too much your bloggers will always be here ready waiting for a few posts like today and if no craft gets done well so be it, we all follow you for you not your craft.
    And yes i think motherhood does get a little easier (honestly after much thought it does get easier but the worries are different probably more stress i.e.) i hope they are safe driving that sort of thing but you do get heaps more time to yourself and a bonus-the toilet to yourself oh yeah and you get sleep ins but i need them coz i am usually up late at night waiting for a text to make sure they are ok.
    I am super excited for all of you

  16. Oh Stephanie, You are going to love it. Just think of all the traveling you can do in Europe…and seeing all the historical places. What fantastic news. I am so happy for you.

  17. Stephanie- ITALY IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I have been travelling everywhere and Italy is by far my favourite country!
    I lived there for awhile – studying ummmm it was more like ummmummmm flirting (I was in my 20s and single)!! it was amazing and I WILL NEVER FORGET IT!! Italian is an amazing language too!!
    There are loads of Americans in Italy so I don’t think you will have trouble finding others and everyone will be in the same boat too!
    I met loads of Americans there !! There are loads of American schools/ Universities as well
    Are your kids going to go to an American school?
    I was travelling (umm backpacking) all over the country – its amazing and the most beautiful I have ever been
    I am so excited for you and I AM REALLY LOOKING forward to seeing all the amazing pics on your blog!!!
    what an experience it will be for the girls as well!!! It will be great for them to be over in Italy at their age as it is such a rich country in soooooo many ways
    And the food … well it is hard to diet there! But actually people eat quite healthy over there as most of the pasta is fresh and has fresh veg etc….
    They don’t have a lot of processed food and additives etc… so it’s quite healthy food
    Lots of bakeries and cafes…
    Gee you can tell I am excited for you!!!!!!!! Makes me feel like going there too now just remembering it all!!!
    It will be great to have a Scrapbooker over there and also in Europe!!!
    Good luck with it!!!! Can’t wait to see about it all !!!!

  18. Great post……. I would love to be free of our ‘stuff’ but hubby seems to collect it daily! He has grand visions of us buying a property and having a use for all the stuff he accumulates! It does make sense I guess but I just feel suffocated 🙁 Compromise is hard 🙂 I fully understand everything you wrote about being present….just make sure you give yourself some scrappy time when you feel you need a treat also, you too are important xx

  19. About Italy-So glad you have plenty of time! We went in 2011, our family, but just for two weeks. We went to Venice (LOVE), Vernazza/Cinque Terra (BEAUTIFUL!)-and both of my teen daughters still talk about wanting to go to one of those cities to live! Then we headed to Assisi, also beautiful, the Tuscany area (went to an organic winery/farm where you ate and tasted the food and wine-DELISH!), Florence and Rome. Both Florence and Rome have so much to see, so much history, that it was information overload by the end of our trip. Take your time to gather info and see everything. I loved Vernazza’s “old Italy” charm with ladies hanging out their windows to yell to people below, the sights and smells-awesome. Ok… enough rambling and going back in my memory to our trip-you will have so much fun! 🙂 Yay you! 🙂 And don’t be so hard on yourself-my girls are both teens, one will graduate this year, and no-you don’t stop second guessing yourself. There will be awesome moments, though, as they get older where you see their faith shining through, their strength and what awesome young ladies they are becoming. 🙂 God’s working in all of you, even if we don’t always see it in our day to day “stuff”. 🙂 Hugs!

  20. How wonderful! You definitely want to purge the things you aren’t in love with now, because you will fall in love with EVERYTHING in Italy! (I have fallen in love with the German things, the Polish things and the Italian things as well.) Three years is a long time. But it is so worth it. Travel is expensive with kiddos, but exploring the surrounding areas will be amazing. I was surprised how long it took to acclimate when we moved to Germany. (for me anyway. I’m jealous of the families that just take to everything naturally.) Looking forward to hearing about the next adventure!!

  21. Great post, Stephanie. I totally understand how you feel – I especially identified on the stuff and being present. I am purging through our stuff right now and it’s so freeing. You’re able to focus on the good stuff instead of just being overwhelmed by the amount of things in your home/life.
    Motherhood is a hard balancing act, definitely. But it sounds like you are doing well at adjusting for what your family needs. You needed some Stephanie-focused time and now you’re adjusting to the little ones needing some family-focused time. It’s all normal (so I hope!) and I think we all do it. 🙂
    Christine

  22. i love this post steph. so many similar thoughts in my mind…about simplifying as we also plan for our move this summer…about being present and being a servant and motherhood. (just blogged about it actually.)
    i am so so so excited for y’all in the adventure that awaits you. and sure, there will be hard moments, but God always uses those to strengthen us, what a blessing to rest in that knowledge. glad to see you again here!

  23. Hi, Stephanie. Wow….what a wonderful thing to experience. I have never been to Italy but on my list! You will be European for a few years. How exciting. Can I just say that my boys are now men, the youngest just 19, and one a new father. They still pull on my heartstrings..every day SO do enjoy your girls while they are young. Get down and dirty with them while they still let you. I cannot believe how quickly the years pass…..and although it might not seem it….it is the best time when they are young and their mum and dad are centre of their universe.
    I still look forward to your posts…however spasmodic.
    Deborah

  24. You will be fine! I am American and living in Switzerland w/3 kids and yes it can be challenging BUT you will see so many amazing things, meet amazing people and be able to share all that with your kids – how cool is that? ENJOY!

  25. I know exactly how you feel with regards to the balance between work and play. I find myself not pulling out messy activities because it gives me one more thing I have to clean. With 4 boys, most days I feel like I’ve barely been keeping my head above water! This morning I have cleaned the kitchen, changed diapers, made lunches, been to the gym and showered. I’ll probably have 2 hours max at nap time when I can mop the filthy floors before the big ones get home from school and we have to do homework, practice math facts, etc. By the time we’re done with all those things I can’t imagine doing anything else between dinner and bed! And right now I am being beaten by the 2 year old with a broom! Guess blog reading break time is over! Hang in there!
    Monica

  26. I hear you on the purging thing. Since we had our youngest (who is already 14 months!) we have been overwhelmed by all our stuff. We used to use the baby’s room as a guest/storage/scrap room and once she made her appearance we had no idea where to put everything. Ugh! A work in progress is definitely what our home is.
    I, too, often have to sit back and tell myself that a chore at home can be done later. I even take my oldest (who is 4 years) grocery shopping with me for some one-on-one time (I don’t even care that it takes me longer because of all her questions about what things are). My girls will only be young for so long and I love playing on the floor with them and just being silly (the fits of giggles are contagious and make my heart smile). Being a mother is always a balancing act. I want my girls to have great memories to share when they are older and want them to feel loved and appreciated.
    My last thought: good luck and have fun in Italy! I went to Rome with my husband on our honeymoon and we loved it. We also visited Naples, Pompei and Florence. We keep saying we want to go back. Enjoy the adventure! There’s nothing like immersing yourself in another culture for a few years (I spent 3 in Korea and LOVED it). I will keep you and your family in my prayers 🙂

  27. I was waiting for this day. As soon as you posted about having twins. How could anyone still scrap? create? even eat? I love the simplification idea. We all benefit from this. I started purging stuff last year. I have a ways to go. And I don’t mean paper and paint. I mean stuff we were going to save, like for the kids, someday, like they would have a place to put the stuff? Well, my oldest suggested we store the stuff, like at a u-store type of place. He wants the stuff. Crazy kid. I will be selling the piano. Giving away the extra furniture (do we really need 3 kitchen tables?). And clothes.. I seriously do not wear all those clothes. So why do I keep them? And camping equipment… keep for the kids? They are in college. Sigh. But the real question is, what will you do with all your pumpkins? Maybe you could leave some stuff with family? rent a u-store? I mean your pics and albums and precious stuff need to go somewhere safe.
    My guess about Italy is that you could get lost, like every day. I have no sense of direction even here. And life is slower there… except for the streets. I always figure that in Italy crossing the street is where everyone dies eventually. Keep on blogging. And take deep breaths. And enjoy the little moments, the old world atmosphere, the Gelato. And all those passports… do the girls already have them? Can hardly wait to read about the big trip.

  28. Its gonna be AWESOME!!! Italy will never be the same. Harper and Sadie’s closets and fashion will never be the same. Just don’t let them come home with ugly euro jeans. In fact, email me and I’ll send clothes, if necessary. HAHAHAHAH! 🙂

  29. I bet you will love Italy! The people I know who moved to a foreign country loved it! I agree on getting rid of lots of stuff.f I have 3 girls and we always were so overwhelmed with toys and stuff that it was too much, and most didn’t get played with. I also think the less you have, the less time you spend cleaning and putting away. Motherhood doesn’t get easier! I do worry much less with a 9, 13 and 15 yr. old than I did when they were little. My girls are very easy going teens, not moody like teen boys are! But you are so busy running them all over the place with activities and volunteering at school. So much fun though! I love your blog!

  30. this is so great!! you get to live in Italy!!
    but…QUIT BEATING YOURSELF UP! i am sure you are a wonderful mother and it sounds like you are headed for burnout if you don’t quit trying to do it all!
    hope you are making time for you! and KEEP BLOGGING!!!

  32. No way…you are leaving me…but I just found you LOL! Wow wow wow wow you are moving to Italy…can I be your Nanny? I am really really good with kids LOL! I am sooo excited for you and your family!
    Patricia
    the PaperTemptress

  35. Loved this post – all of it – but especially appreciated your thoughts about moving to another country. I was wondering (but didn’t want to ask or mention) if you were feeling overwhelmed by it all. I told the hubby “they move all the time; she’s a pro at it by now. Maybe it won’t seem THAT much different to her on this one.” Hehehe. I would be excitedly freaking out! Knowing you (well, sort of), you will handle it with your typical grace and aplomb, like everything else. Good luck with your purging. We will be doing a lot of that some time in the next year, before moving again. We have WAY. TOO. MUCH. CRAP.

  37. I am so right there with you these days with the kids. I have noticed that I’ve very hard on myself though, and have really high expectations about what we should be doing with our time together. I think that I realised that getting time for myself helps me stay fresh for my kids and helps me keep doing fun stuff with them without feeling burned out. Here’s to being a mommy, and like all jobs that people want to do well: Here’s to the constant self reflection on how we are doing. I strive to find that balance of being kind to myself and being an awesome mommy to my girls.
    :)Robin

  38. Ramble on Stephanie! We are many mothers out here who struggle every day with the same issues as you do,
    and it’s so relieving to read about a fellow-mother. I admire how you manage to keep things up!
    You’ll love it in Italy! The Italians are the friendliest, nicest people.
    At least when they don’t make you go nuts over some bureaucracy stuff! Which you eventually will end up in
    when you actually must live in the country, not just touristing.
    But otherwise! Neighbors, work mates, people in shops, they are so nice!
    It doesn’t matter if you don’t know much of the language. If you just start off with a ‘Scusi?’ showing
    your good will, they will fill in the rest. And you’ll find yourself ‘speaking’ Italian in notime. And if
    all other sources fail, use body language. Easily interpreted by the Italians, they are the masters of that.
    I lived in Italy for two years, but are now back in my home country, Sweden. But I would go back
    at the first chance if given one.
    Bouna fortuna!

  39. You will have a great time…really! You are a wonderful mama, and sometimes we all need that little reminder to do more with them. So, seriously, when you get there and they don’t have the specific toothpaste for the girls, or princess brush, please don’t hesitate to email me a list. 🙂 I have been the {we-have-to-have-this-kind} shipper for my friends over there for years. 🙂 XOXO

  40. a bad day in ITALY. that made me laugh.
    Aa the mom of an 11 and nearly 17 year old, I want to be honest and tell you the parenting thing does not get easier. I feel like the bond intensifies as they grow (contrary to what most people say), but they are spreading their wings and trying new things and learning hard lessons, and it’s so tough not to be able to control what they’re doing. WE can’t fix everything and that is so tough. HEARTWRENCHING at times. (Can you tell it’s been a rough week here?) But in the end we’ve raised them with high standards and good morals and a stong conscience and they make their decisions with all that “background”. Know what I mean? My friend just said tonight, “Don’t you wish you could all the moms with little ones who are so tired and stretched way to thin that THESE are their easy years?” Now seems like a good time to tell you that. 🙂 They grow and go each morning into the world. They come home each day, but so much affects their young lives in the meantime. So enjoy this time when they don’t go too often or too far from you. It goes WAY too fast. The truest cliche I know. And you get to enjoy a big chunk of it in ITALY!!

  41. I have been a reader of your blog for a long time but I think this might be the first time I’ve ever commented! Just wanted to say how EXCITED I am for you and your beautiful family. All the experiences you have ahead of you – TOGETHER. Every morning in my house in the country in Australia I boil the kettle, make myself a tea and come to sit and read your blog – I am very much looking forward to reading all about the new adventures ahead of you. From the purging of ‘stuff’ to the planning and organizing, to the DOING! Just can’t wait! Congratulations to you all – life is good! Helen xx

  44. I hope to see you in France maybe… I love your scrap! It is a big challenge but you move with your family, it is a chance!! But I also understand apprehensions before a big change of life, these 3 years go surement pass too fast!

  45. HI I am really excited for you all – we live in England and regularly drive over to Italy as we love the country. Tuscany is by far the best area of Italy to us but we are off again to Rome this summer – the only part we haven’t been to yet. Just think of all those parts of Europe your girls will not be only reading about at school but be experiencing. If you ever want to come to England we always have a spare room and are only an hour from London.
    Good luck with all the packing and clearing – don’t envy the deciding which memories to keep and which to not.