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Stephanie Howell

reading, organizing, shopping, momming too close to the sun. Home is wherever the Army sends us.

BYH-may

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I had someone ask on Twitter if it was time for a Blog Your Heart (thanks Smitha!) and I realized…oh POOP- when is the last time I did a Blog Your Heart?

And I don't even know. The intent was for it to be the last day of the month but somewhere along the way I stopped doing it.

So today I'm doing it.

Here is the idea behind BYH:

1.Blog whatever is on your heart. It can be serious,silly,angry,happy,blunt,ridiculous. It can be ANYTHING but it has to be authentic (yes,there's that dang buzz word…but to be fair I've been a proponent of authenticity for a long time). The post can be long or short, doesn't matter.

 

2.No judging. No snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs. If you are goingto read the blogs linked in the comments, don't be mean.

 

3. If you play along- link in the comments. I always read and comment on every single blog and alot of you do. I've noticed a cool community of women that grows out of these posts.

 

Here goes.

1.I am getting that perturbed feeling I get leading up to Memorial Day. I'm already seeing the tweets,the ads,etc. about Memorial Day being "the kick off for summer!!!" the "biggest party" etc. I can't deal with it. I get that most people aren't in the military lifestyle. I get that. I don't expect them to be. But the blatant…I don't know miseducation? ignorance? on Memorial Day makes my stomach ache. I've made a choice that I have to stay away from the internet this year. It may sound harsh,but it's the way i feel. Memorial day is MORE than a picture of the beach and a post about the party you are going to. I'm sorry,but it is.

I get that it is a party for most. Heck,many of my amazing army wife friends are having BBQs. I am not asking people to be gloomy and depressed all day. I am not asking people to not have fun. The basic lack of awareness just makes my stomach hurt. I know this is a personal issue…it most likely always will be to me.

 

2.I fell off the TurboFire wagon.Sigh. Sick kids,migraines,laziness….I have a million excuses but the fact is I stopped. And I strongly dislike myself for it. So today I start. I'm not saying I won't lose track again…but I'm not giving in to the giving up.

 

3.I have a love/hate relationship with scrapbooking right now. I love the process (sometimes),hate what I make. It's been like that since J left. I only have time for assignments lately. I stopped Project Life completely. I have all this great stuff and I never use it. I got burned out on the competitiveness and self-promotion I saw. I am not into that and it made me lose track on WHY I create. In July my official obligations are over. I plan to get back to my roots and why I did this in the first place.

 

4.My mom comes next week. I have never been more grateful or more ready for a helping pair of hands. I've felt "on the verge" lately. On the verge of crying, screaming, saying I CAN'T DO THIS. I want to have FUN with my girls. No worry, no what should i be doing,no guilt. I am ready to play and my mom is the master of that.

 

5.This past weekend we had a senior leader's forum. I was part of a small group that had one on one conversation with Annie McChrystal and Lisa Faris (among others). It was amazing,inspiring…pinch me wonderful. We had this forum that we will never have again. A chance to ask,admit,wonder anything…and get feedback from amazing leaders. To say it was a rare gift is an understatement.

 

6.I miss blogging. I am happier and more me when I blog. I am committed to taking time for me again, getting up earlier than the girls again…and blogging. It is therapy that I need and not doing it has worn me down. It's important to me and I need to make time for it.

 

7. I LOVE my job at MME.It is great being creative and using a part of my brain for someone other than my children. It has been so good for my morale and that is something I didn't expect.

 

 

Whew- I guess I needed to do one of these posts! If you are reading today,please say hi. These are always very vulnerable posts to do, but I feel better when I do and many of you can identify.

If you BYH today, feel free to snag the graphic but (as always) link back here.

Have a beautiful day, my friends.

xoox

 

 

Comments

  1. My heart aches for you. I read your blog on my google reader so I never miss a beat. Thanks for sharing your life so openly. Life isn’t always a bed of roses and sometimes we do no good to others pretending it is. By sharing our struggles like you do it makes it easier for others to say “I’m having a hard time – Help!”. Give your Mum a hug when you see her from me – I wish I could hug mine just once more.

  2. Kudos to you for all you do & double kudos to be able to say out-loud when you are at your breaking point!!! <3 reading about your real life! I have to admit this weekend marks the beginning of Summer for us BUT I am taking some small flags to our campsite to remind us what the weekend is REALLY about! thanks for reminding me!

  3. Thanks for sharing. So glad your mum is coming to visit. There are times when we all need our mums and an extra pair of hands are always welcome. Take care xx

  4. I’m there with you on Memorial Day, and I can so relate to being “on the verge.” Hugs, Stephanie! Hope you have a great visit with your mom and find joy in scrapping again! Finding time to scrap helps me to keep the “on the verge” moments at bay.

  5. Thanks for sharing! I have read your blog for some time now and am amazed at your strength and courage. You have beautiful girls & I hope you enjoy the time with your mom next week! Thanks too for reminding us of the true reason for Memorial Day.

  6. Thanks for your post – as always I appreciate and love your honesty. Thank you for the reminder of Memorial Day. Though I’m sad to see you leave Studio Calico, I’m so happy for your new adventures.

  7. Thanks for the reminder on Memorial Day – I am not a summer/beach/party person, but I am guilty of just thinking of it as the next long weekend (which I badly need). I know you will have a great time with you Mom and don’t be too hard on yourself over the rest – do what you can and enjoy your beautiful girls. There will be time for the rest later. They grow too fast.

  8. I always check in with you…every day…so, of course I’m reading. “Hi!” Thanks for sharing your heart.
    Totally agree with your Memorial Day remarks– For businesses, Memorial Day is their chance to promote a product. In the south, Memorial Day means the first day we can “legally” wear white sandals. On the beaches, Memorial Day is the start of the higher pricing for hotel rooms. For military people and their families (and those who are aware), it’s a day we mourn, we honor, we get it–we REMEMBER!
    Did you know that Memorial Day was first called “Decoration Day”? True–during the civil war, ladies and children would come out to Arlington (and other cemeteries) and decorate the graves! Today is “Flags In” at Arlington National Cemetery–the day a flag is placed at every head stone. Only military personnel are allowed to place the flags. What a beautiful way to remember.

  9. I know what you mean about Memorial Day. So many people just don’t have a personal connection to anyone in the military so their experience is manufactured by advertisers trying to sell them stuff. I hate that but it doesn’t change what Memorial Day means to me (or you). I admire your choice to just allow yourself quiet so that your emotions can be centered on the true meaning instead of exasperation and I think it’s a good example to follow.
    Gifts like that meeting are special indeed. I am lucky that our leadership takes the initiative to have these a lot…it is amazing how much better you feel when you feel like you are being listened to, isn’t it?
    I hope you have a wonderful time with your Mom…and get some much deserved rest.
    xoxo
    Sara

  11. Because of YOU, Memorial Day is so much more than a picnic for my family. Your thoughts a few years ago started a new conversation at our home, with our children about the real meaning of Memorial Day. Thanks for that gift you have given us, to be more mindful, more grateful, and more aware. You are impacting peoples lives more than you know! Bless you!

  12. I see what you mean about competitiveness with scrapbooking. It’s hard to be authentic when you are trying to keep up, be it with someone else or a trend. I love your work (and miss seeing it!), don’t stop creating! I hope the weekend treats you well.

  13. hi stephanie!
    this is a hard time right now for you, with j being gone, the upcoming move, the girls all needing you and the twins being busy. Just enjoy the girls and nothing else matters! I love reading your blog and I think it’s awesome when you can keep up with it and do something for YOU!
    keep going on working out, the MOST IMPORTANT thing is to never give up! even if 2 months goes by, just get right back to it and KEEP going! I am a sporadic workout person. I do like 4 months heavy duty 2 hours a day, then quit for 4, it’s so bad and something I am trying to fix!
    HUGS!!!!!
    we move to Michigan NEXT WEEK! back to my roots, the U.P. is where I grew up for the first almost 18 years of my life! (moved to chicago after graduation to become a nanny when I was still 17) and now we will be 4 hours from where I grew up! nervous, excited but sad to be moving away from good friends as well!
    HUGS friend!
    take care of YOU!
    have fun with your mom and take LOTS of pics!
    set the timer!
    tara

  17. Good morning Stephanie!! I read every day 🙂 And my mom and I talk about you often, we’re here and we’re thinking about you!! I’m SO thankful for your BYH this morning. Working in development for the USO I am faced with Memorial Day head on and lots of companies that want to “give back” this time of year. I always stop them and say THANK YOU for remembering what this holiday is about. So thank YOU for being a proud spouse, an amazing mom (and sometimes dad) and for being brave for J. You are an incredible woman and we are all praying for you.

  18. Loved this post!! We must have been on the same wavelength because I was thinking the same thing about Memorial Day after checking my inbox this morning. When did Memorial Day become a day to shop??? Seriously, I plan to pick up some patriotic decor & invite the neighbors over to swim and eat burgers/hot dogs. We are not a military family, but are very aware of the meaning of Memorial Day. About project life……..I am so SICK of every single blog out there promoting and cramming it down my throat!!!!! I really don’t care if you ate a cupcake at Crave or drank some coffee at Starbucks…….it’s the same thing over & over & over & over!!!!

  19. Happy Memorial Day! (for the right reason). We visited the cemetery yesterday to put flags on solider family members graves. It was my six years olds first time… she had lots of questions but I hope that she too carries on this tradition.
    Thanks to your family and all the military families out there. Freedom rocks!

  20. Hugs to you and hopes for happier, more peaceful, and more creative days. Your job with MME continues beyond July, right? I hope so and that you find your creativity again. It is such a great outlet and therapy, but sadly leaves all of us now and again. Happy thoughts dear lady.

  21. Wow, what a neat idea! I’ve read and I’m stopping in to say a friendly ‘hi’ too!

  22. Oh my friend. I completely understand, Memorial Day is so much more than Barbecues and holiday sales. I feel you. Let all the stress go, enjoy your Mama!! I will blog my heart in a bit. I have so much on my mind, it is the right time for that.

  23. I am glad you highlighted list item #1 because when you’ve talked about it on your blog it has made me more conscious and aware of the real reason behind Memorial Day. I don’t have a blog, but my BYH entry would be that I want to get up the nerve to thank a military service person when I see them at the airport, bus, etc. but I have been terrified to put myself out there. It is one of my personal goals.
    For your sake I hope July comes quickly and you no longer have the pressure of creating for ‘work’ and get to do it for yourself (and your blog readers-ha!). I can only imagine how stressful it must be to try to ‘out-scrap’ your fellow scrappy bloggers. No thanks! 🙂
    Still loving your blog! Keep your head up. 🙂

  24. Coming from a non-military family, I really appreciate your insight and reminders about why we have certain holidays. Thank you for your honesty.
    I hope you have fun with your mom and that you can get a little bit re-set. I know things are hard with J gone and all the other things you’ve got going on.
    Take care – I’m glad you still blog even though you have a lot going on in your life! I know I don’t know you personally but I definitely do keep you and your family in my prayers.

  25. Hi. (fulfilling end request to say hi.) I haven’t blogged in months – pretty much ever since I started working. (but yay for finding a job!)
    I completely understand about Memorial Day. However, I’m not feeling guilty about getting to spend the weekend in Italy. I will be in good company with other Army families, so I have no fears about forgetting to remember. I wish I didn’t have to remind others, but also have a strange sort of pride that they don’t need reminding. My husband is part of an amazing organization that is so good at what they do, people get to forget what they do.

  27. My dad is a veteran of WWII and I would love to visit his decorated grave site but it is thousands of miles away. And I avoid the local ceremonies because I hate crying. But I proudly display our flag and have good memories. We all do our part to fight for what we believe in and our American way of life. With rockets red glare….

  28. I love when you do blog my heart, makes me feel connected to others, and I totally agree with you on Memorial Day, having lost so many people in our family, it’s a day to remember them, and my grandfather, his brother’s and my father who all served in WW2 (just in case you are wondering, I am not that old…lol…my dad was, he was born in 1920 and died at the age of 64 and I was 13) so anyway, I agree that MD should be a day to remember…thanks for sharing your thoughts, I think as mom’s we are all int he same boat, trying to get by and be the best mom’s we can be…:)

  29. thank you for sharing your honesty, your vulnerability … so many times, I’m nodding, saying ‘yes – I agree’! <3

  30. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I check in every day. So glad your mom is coming to give you a hand. Mom’s are the best. I would encourage you to go back fo project life. It doesnt have to compare to anyone else. I think you wanted to do it for j so he could see the little bits of everyday that he misses when he is gone. It is only for your family. You don’t have to share….and i wouldn’t read other blogs about PL. i am doing it as a first year empty nester. It makes me pay attention to the little things that I am grateful for. A bunch of fresh new, white towels, the lily of the valley I trasplanted from my grandma’s house, my husband playing video games, or singing in church. I have put more me in it. I am still too heavy, and somedays I don’t love myself like I should. But It’s my life and i am glad to be here.

  31. Hi Stephanie!!! Oh, I related to so much in this post. Except the Turbofire thing…that’s just wild!! You inspired me to write my own BYH post because I kid you not when I tell you this post was an answer to prayer for me. My hubby and I talked about some pretty heavy stuff last night, but I was still left feeling unsettled. I think BYH might be just the ticket. Off to write my post and I’ll be back to link up when I’m done.

  32. Thanks for reminding me the true importance of Memorial Day. We will be taking flowers & recalling good memories. Last year I finally found my great grandmother’s grave. She passed when my grandfather was a boy, but I always visited her grave with him when I was a little girl. She is buried in a small country cementary. I could picture it in my mind but for the life of me couldn’t remember where it was. My grandfather passed over 30 years ago & no one in my family seemed to know where it was. I can’t tell you the emotion I felt when I finally stood there before her grave. She lived such a hard life – so different from mine. But we shared one thing – we both loved my grandpa more than anything in the world. Enjoy your visit with BB & let her magic begin!

  34. Hi Stephanie .. As a Cdn. girl and one who does not know anyone in the military, I truly want to thank you for making me aware, opening my eyes. I too, read your blog EVERYDAY. I love how human and real you are. You’re not alone.
    As far as the scrapping, I sure hear you on that too. I feel so much pressure, in what is supposed to be fun, to come up with “designer” pages, and for what reason??? dumb dumb dumb You make we just want to get in there and do what MY heart desires! So thank you, I needed YOU today!!
    Sooo glad your Mom is coming, and you can be someone’s kid!!

  35. Saying hi, offering a few emphatic nods and a big hug and hoping you have a super wonderful visit with your mom. The Howell girls are in for a treat!

  36. Just dropping by to say “Hi.” Thanks again for the Memorial Day post… our family does know what the day represents… and we are very grateful for those that serve our country… and we certainly remember those that paid the ultimate sacrifice. As for Project Life, maybe you could just use it to store the photos of the unbelievable day-to-day changes in your kids (especially the littles) so that J can see them when he returns. Hang in there! You’re doing great! Also, loved the photo of the stairway kiss — too sweet!

  37. Thanks for sharing so openly with us all! Its one of the things I really love about coming here! I write a post every Thursday documenting what I’m thankful for right now. It’s always what’s currently on my heart, but usually it’s not the only thing. 🙂 So today I went back and updated the post to reflect more of what’s on my heart right now. http://scrapinspired.com/2012/05/thankful-thursday-baseball-season/ Thanks for inspiring me to take a chance and share what I’m feeling!

  39. Hi Steph! Praying for you to be strong until J comes home, and have a great time with your girls and your mom. Reading this post will make me think of Memorial Day differently, thank you for that.

  40. Can completely sympathize with you about needing to get in the me time. My new baby girl just turned 9 weeks and I’m feeling completely burnt out with everything, and also inadequate in every way. I always stop by and see how you and your girls are doing and am amazed at how together you are, and what an amazing mother you are. It’s very inspiring, but it’s also nice to know that you have “those days…weeks” too. Take care, we can do this!

  41. Lovely blog post, I can hear your sincerity and feel for you. I could not imagine having to deal with everyday life without my husband around, heck I hate it when he goes away for 1 night. Your spirit shines through your blog and your beautiful girls. No one is expecting you to hold it together every single day. I have a new baby and I thought I could do it all, but boy was I mistaken, we all need some help and I’m so glad yours is on the way. I hope you have a wonderful time with your Mum, I would be lost without mine.
    Thank you for keeping your blog going, I love hearing about your girls, and love your scrapbooking style too.

  42. Hi Stephanie.
    Just wanted to let you know that I’m still reading your blog and still loving hearing from your heart.
    (((hug)))

  43. Hi!
    As a former military wife, I read your blog and look back at so many of the same emotions, problems, etc. It’s a very difficult place to be a lot of the time.
    Finally! Someone finally said it! I’m a fairly new papercrafter, and I read a lot of blogs for inspiration. But I get so tired of “take my class”, buy my stuff…etc. I don’t deny there is a lot of talent out there, and I am grateful they share, but I get “how wonderful” they are…they don’t need to keep telling me with every post. I love the Blog Your Heart idea! Thanks!

  44. Stephanie, if it helps at ALL, your blog has really made me so much more aware of service men & women in general and being more respectful specifically. I don’t personally know anyone who is in the service, but I’m so much more observant now of those who are.
    I played along with your BYH challenge!

  45. I love the Blog Your Heart posts.. I feel like you do blog your heart in every post but these are invitations for us to blog our own and share! Good luck on getting back to your workouts and blogging more to feel like yourself again. Hope you enjoy your visit from your mom and get re-energized!

  46. Dropping in to say, that I love how REAL you are. I think you are Awesome and hope you have a fantastic day! :O)

  47. Hi! This is Marla’s daughter, Bridget, identifying herself! 🙂 I just got home from college and am happy to be able to read your blog again (we don’t have internet access at school).
    I hope you know that our family prays for you guys every day! We love you guys! 🙂

  49. Thanks so much Stephanie, for being you. I so appreciate all that you share-you bless me each day. Being non-military, you really help me remember and honor those who are and what a sacrifice it is. Thank you also for sharing honestly about how your scrapbooking is going. I can so relate to the love-hate thing you are experiencing. I will be praying for you during this time. . . . that God will give you all that you need to make it through until your mom comes. You encourage so many of us, even in the hard times you experience. I am grateful for you.

  51. I don’t think you should ever be afraid to ask your readers to say “Hi” or comment! I have the very same feelings after I post a vulnerable, heartfelt post and I’m usually to embarassed to ask people to comment and then feel really discouraged when they don’t! I think you are honest, brave, funny and that your transparency really touches your readers. I continue to pray for your husband’s safety and for God to give you all the strength and patience you need each day to be what your girls need. I hope you have a great day!

  52. Hi Stephanie!!
    Your doing an AMAZING job, and I am so inspired by you!! Keep it up girl, you can do it, you are doing it! Enjoy your visit with Mom!

  53. Hi Steph! I always love these real, straight from the heart posts! I’ve got so much weighing on my mind that I’m sure it would be therapeutic for me, but I’m not ready to throw it all out there just yet. Have a wonderful day!

  54. Thank you, Stephanie, for saying what I was thinking about both Memorial Day and the climate of the scrap world. I, too, really have lost the desire to create anything or to be a part of what I once saw as a wonderful community. And I miss it. I miss the feeling of making my art and sharing it with people who truly care. As for Memorial Day, the name says it all and I think people confuse it’s true meaning because our calendars call it a holiday.

  57. I agree with your #1 I think it’s what a commentor said above..if someone doesn’t have a personal tie with the military then they just seem to forget about Memorial day and Veterans day and what not.

  58. Hi Stephanie! I still read everyday but usually read from work so I rarely take time to comment.
    Thanks for the reminder about Memorial Day. It’s important!

  59. your blog is 1 of 5 that i still read.. the rest i shed in hopes of a less media life.. your blog is the one i check with my morning cup of coffee..and the one i still comment on, part of it is because you had your twins weeks after i had my 4th baby, part because of your love as a scrapbooker and keeping balance of the creative outlet not just product, but mostly because of your way to celebrate the goodness in your life while still being able to be real with your trials that many of us face as women/mothers.. smooooch steph

  60. I read you. Have read you since the day you put your hair in a ponytail, grabbed some scissors and cut it. I pray for you, smile at your sweet babies and feel joy when your J comes home. Funny, we have nothing “in common” I don’t scrapbook, I have boys, I’m a Navy Wife, I’m a bit older than you and I don’t blog. But God I miss my guy when he’s gone…it’s a proud love that makes my heart hurt. You have that same love and I think that’s why I read you…well, that and you would be a fun gal to drink a beer on the front step with. Remember, when you’re On the Verge know that you’re not alone.

  63. So happy that your mom is coming to visit. You need to have some fun. In the meantime, hang in there. We are all here for you! Big hugs from Texas! ♥ Vicky

  64. Thank you so much for sharing. Your point about Memorial Day really made me think. I get so frustrated at the commercialization of so many of our special holidays but never thought exactly how much the commercialization of Memorial Day could affect our servicemen, vetrans and their families. Thank you for opening my eyes. Also, thanks for the post about scrapbooking. I too get so tired of the competitiveness in the industry. And I find myself creating layouts that are not true to me because I am trying to “keep up with the Jones'”. I appreciate all your heartfelt sentiments.

  66. Hi. 🙂
    Always love reading what you write. I am a mother of four girls as well, ten years ahead of you, and I also have three boys. I remember the days of being immersed in little girls little girls everywhere I went. 🙂 I now have three teen girls, and one tween, and while life isn’t easier, it’s much more manageable as I am now developing friends, not just raising babies. Ya know? It’s more emotional, less physical, and so very fulfilling. Good stuff!

  67. I agree with your feelings about Memorial Day. We have been telling our kids that its a special day to say thank you to those who “keep us safe” (a phrase my little girls uses all the time). We tell her that when we fly a flag we are saying thank you to men and women who keep us safe and saying thank you to God for keeping us safe. Don’t feel bad when you see lots of people talking about parties and such. There are many, many people out there who celebrate the day appropriately. Thank you for the sacrifices you make as a family to a man who serves this country with his whole heart and life. I really appreciate it. I appreciate that I know my children will grow up in a country where there is so much opportunity. That opportunity is ONLY made possible by those men and women who put their lives on the line, but ALSO by those spouses and children who put their husband, their daddy, their wife’s life on the line as well. Thank you Stephanie. Thank you Harper. Thank you Sadie. Thank you, you two cute adorable chubby-legged little girls.

  68. Hi! Haven’t said hi for a long time, life has been pretty hectic, but I caught up with you today after many months and I thought I had to say “hi” seeing you were asking me for it! Sending you a big hug, all the way from Cyprus in the Mediterranean, hoping one day, we’ll meet. Mariana xx

  69. Hi! Thanks for posting your feelings on Memorial Day! It should mean that for everyone, but like all holidays it seems to get too commercialized and that just takes away from its true meaning! Enjoy your mom (having extra hands is the best!)!!! I hope you are doing well with J being gone!
    (PS…I posted this post on my blog sometime ago, and still haven’t updated it! but I wanted to share this with you so hope you don’t mind that my “blog your heart” is a little old!!!)

  71. I think of July 4th as the celebratory, get out and BBQ, enjoy summer day of patriotism. Memorial Day is for gratitude and remembering the sacrifices of the men and women (and their families) who fought and died so that every night I can sleep soundly in my bed and wake up to enjoy the freedoms I have. Thank you!
    I’m glad your mom will be joining you next week. You have a lot on your plate with those 4 adorable girls (and everything else). I’m also glad that you are moving on to creative pursuits that make you happy (love what you’ve been up to with MME).
    I don’t comment all the time, but I read every post. Thanks for putting your heart out here. Today, I felt inspired and did my own BYH post. http://footnoteinyourdance.blogspot.com/2012/05/out-of-hiatus-blogging-my-heart.html

  72. Thanks for sharing your heart Stephanie. You are always you and I really appreciate that. Hang in there and enjoy time with your mama! Hope you get lots of hugs and smiles from the girl today to give you the extra boost we all need to make it as mothers. Hugs!!

  73. Thanks for sharing. In the UK we have Remembrance Day in November, and it is looked on differently. As we are about to move to the US with the military, I am aware of the real meaning of Memorial Day.
    I’m glad your Mom is coming to visit to help you out for a bit, everyone needs a little helping hand every now and again 🙂

  74. Hi Stephanie,
    Just wanted to thank you for this post. Ilove reading blogs that have “real” posts often, instead of just the usual “look at how perfect my life is” kind of topics. Thank you for always being real. I really connected with feeling ” on the verge”. I feel that way lately too.

  75. Reading this and saying hi! I love that you are really honest and say what you think. Never change, I am sure you will be back enjoying scrapping again, but in the meantime, enjoy your kiddies and your mum’s visit.
    xxx

  77. My Dad is a Vietnam Vet and I am always happy when I get to spend the weekend with him. I am grateful that he served and also that he made it home. Many he knew didn’t. This weekend we will celebrate and remember!
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are an amazingly strong woman and quite an inspiration!

  78. No profound responses here today, but saying hello. P.S. I been on the verge with my almost 4 yr old lately and my hubby isn’t over seas. Raising kids is NOT easy. Yikes.

  79. Stephanie I love your blog and these posts – it is so refreshing to read your “real” life cause that is what we all are experiencing in different ways. Thanks so much for keeping it real and hang in there!

  80. Hi. Reading today, as I always do as a subscriber. My dad (a Vietnam veteran – Army Warrant Officer Helicopter Pilot) is participating in the dedication of a restored Huey at the local museum of flight this weekend. We will remember the real meaning of the holiday, but also celebrate the last day of preschool and have a BBQ with friends. Enjoy the time with your mom!

  81. Hi from New Zealand!
    Love the truthfulness of your posts, not like some who make life look so great and glamorous all the time. I have been neglecting my blog lately but think I may just log in later today and BYH.

  82. Hey Steph! I am sorry you have stopped PL (hopefully temporarily!) as your pages inspire me so much and so sorry that you have a love hate relationship with scrapping right now too. I know how that feels.
    I am happy to hear that you will start blogging more often and just so you know, I always look forward to your posts and pictures of your gorgeous girls! 🙂
    xoxo

  84. I love your heart and your energy and we us women are by far our worst enemies. We think we are wonder women and that we need to please everyone and their brother. I am guilty of that too. You so inspire me to be a better mother every day and you are right we need to think about ourselves too. Thanks for being you we love you!!!

  85. I love reading your blog! I especially love your military posts. I think it is amazing what your husband (and all the other military men/women and families)do to support our country and keep each of us safe….thank you!
    I hope you have a wonderful visit with your mom…she sounds fabulous!

  86. Hi Stephanie! Thank you for sharing your heart on your blog. I so hear you about the competitiveness of scrapbooking. I scrap way less than I used to, and when I want to, not when a deadline dictates. It’s much more inspiring.

  88. Hi from New Zealand! First time commenting on your blog which I love by the way! I am a mum of e girls and appreciate your personal and honest posts. Much love xxx

  90. Hi Stephanie! Thanks for being so honest. My family goes and visits and decorates my Grandpa’s grave (he was a WWII vet). I’ve always thought of the BBQs and family parties as ways to celebrate the lives of those who sacrificed so much for our country, but maybe a lot of it really is ignorance?

  92. I’m reading today just as I’m always reading. Your authenticity is just one of your many admirable qualities, Stephanie. Thanks so much for sharing your heart so honestly and allowing us all to connect with you as women and the many common struggles and joys we share. Your blog is truly a GIFT to so many of us and I thank you for all that you share with us.

  93. I don’t comment on every post, but I do enjoy reading every post. I admire what you’re able to do and still have wonderful and heartfelt posts.

  95. You are so strong, Stephanie. Everyone needs a break every once in a while. Especially amazing moms (and military wives) like you. My brother is in the Navy and I have many other retired military people in my family. Sometimes I do get caught up in all hooplah surrounding Memorial Day (I do work at Target), but I’ll be thinking of your little family & J this weekend.
    http://everydayfreds.blogspot.com/2012/05/byh-v1.html

  96. hi – don’t have a blog but love your authenticity!!! i will be spending this memorial day weekend with my mother who is a Vietnam Vet and i do get what you are saying – most people just don’t get it – but it is a day to honor those who’ve laid it all out on the line for the rest of us. May God continue to bless you and yours, Stephanie!

  97. I never really thought about Memorial Day before joining your online family. Actually, it’s not even a Canadian holiday. We have Nov. 11 (Remembrance Day) and I think that’s it for military celebrations. However, because of you and J, I DO think about it, and what it means, and send special good thoughts out to all those fighting and think about (and thank) those who gave their lives. As the saying goes ‘Freedom isn’t free’; we just forget it most of the time. Thanks for reminding us.
    Sending prayers for the troops, and hopes that your Mom helps to lighten your load. ♥

  100. Hi! Your perspective on Memorial Day should be shared by all. It’s why we celebrate. My brother is a veteran of Iraqi Freedom and has been scared ever since. His sacrifice is to be remembered. Thanks for the reminder. I love reading your blog….always.

  101. BTW my husband and I will be heading to Savanah this summer purely because of your great commentaries highlighting the best of Savanah! I can’t wait!!!

  103. I’m reading:-) and the funny thing about this post is I’ve been thinking about you and Memorial Day lately. Knowing it’s not one big BBQ. Wanting to do something more – for people like you. And now me and my family. My nephew (I think he’s about 20 – I have alot of nephews/nieces and I’m not good about remembering ages and bdays;) )is being deployed to the middle east the day after memorial day. Our 1st family member to be deployed. I think of you often. We are gearing up for sending care packages and remembering him while he is there. Do you have any tips for me/my sister/ our family about sending her son/our nephew/brother/uncle/cousin/friend care packages? Or is there a specific website that gives tips on how to package things etc? I’d love to have any tips you have time to share. Thinking of you always! Hope your week with your mother is lovely and refreshing and everything you need it to be. I love your BYH posts – ALL your posts;)

  104. What stands out to me about this post… your Mom is coming! Isn’t that awesome? Aren’t Moms the best? I hope you and the girlies enjoy this time with her.

  105. Thank you for reminding those that need it! Every year we go to the military cemetary wher my FIL is buried and spend some time thinking about the service men who have made this country what it is and hopefully can stay! I cry when I see all the flags across the acres of tonbstones. It is a beautiful sight. Have a great time with your mom! I am hoping that when you say your obligations are over you dont mean your new job with MME but with the others where you were on the design team! Hoping that you will love scrapbooking again soon!!

  106. I love reading your blog & adore your BYH posts! I am so excited for you & know you can not wait for your mom’s arrival! I bet the girls are pretty excited too!! I hope you have a great weekend!

  107. Hi, I hope you feel better after your blog post, just remember you are loved just the way you are, for what you do and how you do it. I love that you show us your real heart. You are an inspiration.

  109. Thanks for sharing. And hi!
    I love what you said about scrapbooking. Some times you just need to step back from the competitiveness, the manic shopping, the neverending list of trendy projects and just create at your own pace. The stuff you really want to flip through later. The special photos and not every.single.photo.
    I have a little BYH post on my blog right here: http://www.ninachristensen.dk/2012/05/blog-your-heart-may-2012/
    Nina

  110. Hi!
    Thank you for the reminder to talk more to my kids about Memorial Day. In our city (Somerville, MA, next to Boston, come visit when you’re in RI!) we have a long parade and I always make my kids stand up and clap when the cars with the various vets pass by–amazing how few people acknowledge them compared to the bands, floats, etc.
    Take care and enjoy your mom’s visit.
    sarabeth in Mass.

  111. Thank you for letting me know about Memorial Day. As a New Zealander I did not realise it was your equivalent to our ANZAC Day. I can understand your issue well and truly.
    I was thrilled to see Blog Your Heart on your blog this morning and I took part here http://adventuresinsingapore-clairetet.blogspot.com/2012/05/blog-my-heart-may.html
    I love this outlet and the fact that you take the time to read the contributions – a wonderful thing!
    Enjoy having your Mum to stay. Family really is the beginning and end of everything.

  112. good morning from the UK! I always love your honesty, we do not have Memorial Day here but we do have Remembrance Sunday. I think our day is probably completely different as it is a Sunday and not a public holiday and it is in November. Although not everyone may take time out to remember many people buy paper poppies in remembrance. We as a family always go to Church, I blogged about it in 2010 here http://chattycraftyartypig.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/rememberance-sunday.html
    Enjoy your time with you mum and glad you are going to keep blogging as I love reading your posts!

  113. thanks for sharing….what a great post!!!!
    sometimes people just dont understand!!! its hard though!!! oh well think of me here in NZ we are heading into winter….brrrrr you enjoy that sun!!!
    and enjoy your mum coming to stay

  114. Just saying “hi!”… great post, love your honesty. It’s a good way to be. 🙂

  115. Hi Stephanie. Thanks for the BYH post. I have a blog but don’t keep up with it very well, so I won’t be “B-ingMH” today. But thanks for being vulnerable and letting us know that there are other frazzled moms out there, other moms with pet peeves, and other moms who can’t always find the time or the motivation to scrap. You’re doing a great job, and I’m glad your mom is coming to help.

  116. Vulnerable – you said it, it’s the only way to live, but you have to do it in balance. Brene Brown did a TED speech on it (Search her on You Tube – she did two talks that follow on from each other – anyway, they were good. I’m a sensitive gal too). Just saying hi to you today and was thinking of doing it before you asked. Bless you, Stephanie.

  117. Thanks for sharing Staphanie! I can totally relate to how you are feeling about scrapbooking! Does this mean you are leaving SC? If so I will be sad to see you go! I always look forward to seeing your layouts every month.

  119. Hi, Steph! I hear you about Memorial Day. But for me, Memorial Day is a bit bittersweet for me since it was the day my grandmother passed away 11 years ago. But, I get what you’re saying. It’s sad to think that many people don’t realize the history behind Memorial Day and what it signifies.

  121. i’ve been on an unplugged vacation and yours is the first blog i read upon return. Part of that is the pics of your kiddos, but more it is the words from your heart that make me laugh most days and tear others. i love the way you are not afraid to explore your heart, many people are afraid. So, even though it can be scary, please continue that path, even if you don’t have time to share it with all of us. we are happy to and love to give you feedback, but not one of us has any idea what it is to be in your life. that’s part of the beauty of life. you’re doing great!

  122. Hi Stephanie!
    Lots of things I love about this BYH post, but thank you for the reminder about Memorial Day. You are the reason I’ve become more aware of all things related to military life. You inspired me last year to give it a mention; this year I gave it a bigger mention! (I don’t know if it’s BYH but it’s not my normal type of blog post and I feel good about it. Thank you!) It’s here:
    http://stampingville.blogspot.com/2012/05/remembering-our-heros.html
    Thank you for your inspiration, for educating those of us who need it, and for the sacrifices all of you are making and enduring.
    p.s. Have FUN with your Mom!!

  124. Life is all about reality and you give it as it is, and I like that! I have serious issues with “perfect blog life” – cause it ain’t like that!!!

  125. Hi Stephanie-
    I’ve read your blog for quite awhile and enjoy reading your posts…I’ve been a long time follower of Cathy, Ali, Stacy & Tara…you’re in good company 🙂
    Just read a great post on another blog. If you’ve done you best and are tired, rest and don’t beat yourself up about it. The end. I have three little ones and am always trying to do it better. I struggle with over-thinking and anayzing and trying to solve everything and it’s given me a nice deep thinking groove in my forehead. Some days are challenging and that’s ok, just go forward. And breath. Do your best and move forward and realize that not everything needs to be solved. Some things just are.
    With regard to Memorial Day, I think it’s good to realize that many people are ignorant, and I don’t mean that in a negative way. It’s just that they haven’t had an experience that has put them in touch with the experiences and feelings that you have. Everything becomes so much more relevant when we are connected to it emotionally, but not everyone is there. Find a way to recognize the day in a way that speaks to you and your family that recognizes the significance of the day. And don’t let the distraction of what others are doing take away from what the day means to you.
    Take care of yourself and your sweet little chicks :0
    tracy

  127. Can you imagine the outrage if Sept 11th was “celebrated” with big retail sales and the “unofficial kickoff to fall”?? There is nothing wrong with people enjoying their long weekend, but I agree more should be done to show the surviving families and the fallen that we honor their ultimate sacrifice. Fly a flag, offer a prayer, attend a service, volunteer, explain to children the high price of freedom.
    Don’t feel guilty about project life. I did photo a day albums my husband’s last two deployments, and honestly not sure I will again. Some of the day to day you have to be there, the photos don’t hold the memories. And I think seeing all the little moments, combined with the big ones, all collected together, actually makes him feel even more guilty for all he’s missing. Project life isn’t the be all end all. Do what you need to get through, guilt free.
    Thank you for the the link to the article about the Faris family. I am beyond thrilled to see sr leadership talking about the elephant in the room. My husband (Marine) and I have been married 17 years, and our marriage too is on the brink. So too are the marriages of our friends and those serving around us. We have been blessed with awesome leadership to help, but the military institution is another story. We’re trying to save a marriage, save a family, oh and ready for another Afghanistan deployment too. I lost it last night reading a story to my daughter. She checked the book out from the library, about a mom struggling to make a Christmas for the young daughter while the father is away at war. I couldn’t get through without tears. We haven’t told our 10, 7, and 3 year olds that dad will be gone again this Christmas…
    Hang in there any way you can. You are not alone, no matter how it looks from the outside, other military families are struggling to do their duty and keep it together too.

  130. This was my first time landing on your blog. I am so thankful. I really loved reading this post. I have also done this on my blog. I hope that it continues on my reader’s blogs as well and inspires them to just be “real”. I definitely needed this today!

  131. Hi Stephanie, love reading your heartfelt sentiments every day. I have said hi once before but felt I should just dip in and say it again. I am 52 and still love letting my mum take charge….they know best!,
    Take care with all those lovely girlies
    Deborah

  132. This is the very first time I’ve commented, although I’ve wanted to so many times. Thank you for always being so human. So real. I enjoy your blog so much. I love that you share the ups with the downs.

  133. This may sound silly but I struggle with friends and twitter the same you seem to struggle with scrapbooking and project life. I feel I get stuck in ruts of trying to keep up with friends, topics, people, etc. I always, ALWAYS hit a wall and take a break for awhile. I hate the feeling of trying to keep up and be like everyone else. I get on my knees and ask for a reminder of who I am and why I enjoy and do the things I do. Then I try to live that again.
    Thanks for sharing. I’ve always felt I related to you on many levels and this just strengthened that again.

  134. I think we all need our Mama’s sometimes. I miss mine desperately… September won’t be here soon enough. Hang in there!

  135. thinking of you my friend–ive also felt burned out on scrapping lately, and overfocused on blog numbers (why do i care??) so this is a great reminder to get back to the roots. sorry for typos, baby in other hand:)

  136. Just popping into say I am so very grateful for all the amazing military men and women — and their equally amazing families. Hugs to you all. Enjoy your mom!

  139. thank you for sharing all this. inspired by what you do for me, a loyal follower, I leave you this link. I don’t know whether it works, don’t know whether there will ever be a follow-up to this blog. I would like to show you that you mean something to others, wish I could give you a hug, hoover your carpet,mow your lawn (even though it seems pretty big)look after your children, bake a pie (amaranth-date-walnut, my specialty), anything that could make you feel rested.
    http://katekoning.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/blog-your-heart/

  140. Blog my heart? If I get too close to my heart, I’m afraid I will crumple and not get back up. My two precious children have decided to believe ugly, horrible lies their dad has told them. The vicious horrid things they have said and done, have not only paralyzed me, horrified me, but has made me stop dead in my tracks, what did I do wrong as a mom??? OMG….I LOVED, and I mean LOVED these souls. Pray(ed) daily —- till my knees are bruised. Their dad left when my baby was about five, and was a sporadic person, but always encouraged to be there for them….and now this….If someone had told me this, what would happen, I would of scoffed at them. Everything I did was for the love of them, protection of them, the best for them….oh my. I don’t KNOW how to recover. I put one foot in front of the other, yet I know, one stiff breeze is going to bring something familiar, and the tear and the deep, impenetrable pain will be front and center.
    My darkness. I am grateful as my children are healthy and alive….but my heart. I don’t know if it will recover or survive.

  141. Love your blog your heart posts! Not sure you realize how inspiring you are to other mothers. We all get overwhelmed at times, and you are so real and genuine. I’m soooo happy to hear your mom is coming to visit you and the girls! I don’t know what we’d do without the support of our families (even the inlaws!) My husband is away for the next week, and I’m already worrying about keeping everything running smoothly without his support. But if you can, maybe I can too …!

  142. I completely understand being on the verge!!! Thank you for sharing yourself with us. Next time I update my blog, I’ll share. Like you I’ve fallen a little behind.

  143. I don’t have a blog and I’m usually a lurker, but I wanted to say hi and that I am very inspired by your vulnerability. I love what you share about your life and your craft. I got some bad news about a friend, a father of 3 girls ages 1, 6, & 9 and he was just diagnosed with colon cancer – he’s 36. My heart is breaking for him. I feel like I can’t pray harder. My problems seem so insignificant now. Maybe that’s why I wanted to say hi today. Support a friend online. Feel a sense of community. Thanks for all you do. I’m praying for you and your family.

  145. Hi Stephanie! I have never written to you before, but I have read your blog for years. I am a mother, run a small business, and find I can always relate to you, in your joyful times and in your struggles. Your blogs comfort and give me support. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. I am sorry you have been having a rough time lately and I hope that it helps to know that people like me are here, silently rooting for you. I will be thinking of you this weekend!!

  146. Saying Hello. Thanks for sharing openly and honestly. Memorial Day means more and more to me every year that I get older. Have fun with your mom!
    🙂 Cathy in MT

  147. Hi. I always love reading your blogposts, no matter what you write. I’m with you on Memorial Day. Enjoy your time with your mom to the full. Take care of yourself so you have what you need to take care of your gorgeous girls.

  148. I’m very sorry for the late reply. I really felt like I owed you a response to your request for a hi. So “Hi!” I read many, many blogs every day, and some days most of them are pretty boring. But not yours – you always bring a smile to my face, and I love when you share stories and pictures about your kids. Keep your chin up! {{{HUGS}}} (I use the fancy brackets for a “special” hug!)

  150. Hi Stephanie,
    I love that you do these posts and how much you share with us. It’s a wonderful little community you have started and helps others to have the support during tough times. So thank you for sharing and letting us share with you.
    I agree with you about all the hoop-la on sales and summer starting this weekend, I think the two just go hand in hand because most schools are over this week which means summer starts now. We do not forget why we have this long holiday weekend, their are prayers said and we remember the people before us and the ones now fighting for us. So thank your husband and you for all you do for us.
    The layouts you share with us always make me happy and you make beautiful pages so please share some when you can. Don’t stress over it just enjoy it for you.
    Hooray for your mom coming and for more fun and playtime while she’s here!! It will be just what you all need, share pictures please!!
    About PL, this is a tough one for me. This is my 4th year doing it and I LOVE it more then anything in the world. I was hooked from DAY ONE and drool each time the new kits come out and pounce on the UPS driver when it gets here. I have noticed that it got bigger this year and more people are using it as a way of scrapping and fitting in all kinds of cute things to their pages. I enjoy reading the few I do but for me I keep mine simple for the most part. The story and photo is what’s important and not stressing over making it pretty is what keeps me hooked on it. The kids and I really do enjoy going back over it and being reminded of things we forgot. So maybe please try again and don’t share with us, just keep it for those sweet little ones of yours. The girls will get a kick out of all their funny, crazy, sweet things they did at this age and that’s all it needds to be about.
    Take time for you this weekend and just play and enjoy those sweet girls of yours and be thankful for the wonderful family you have!! HUGS!

  151. OMG sorry I wrote a book here, didn’t realize it was that long till I hit enter.

  152. Hi. Thank you always for sharing so deeply. I recently returned to work after having my 3rd son and I am struggling big time with the balance of everything. Scrapbooking has not happened in way to long and it is sad because I have no motivation and I know it would be theraputic. I am wishing you a wonderful week with your mom and know you are not alone. Always…

  154. Love that you’re real. Love your blog. Love your scrapping – always sooo inspirational even if it doesnt feel like it to you! Love your kid stories. Love your bravery and vulnerability. Just love you. Hang in there kiddo, and we’ll be thinking of & praying for Jimmy and all our military families tomorrow!!

  157. ((HUGS)) wished we lived closer so I could visit and give you a break. I wished I made time for my blog – haven’t done anything with it in over a year. I’m surprised they don’t just shut it down…I guess with facebook being the ‘go-to’ most of the time, I just don’t make the time…I really should. I am finally loving scrapbooking again – after almost 2 years of not doing anything but admiring work other people are doing and wishing I could get the love back. I am so glad I have that back and am trying to get published again – not that’s there’s many mags left but it’s still worth trying. And there’s a particular company I’m loving right now and would LOVE to be a part of their DT – something else I’m working towards. Other than that, it’s just work, home, not doing dishes when I should and starting a flower bed outside of my building. 🙂

  158. Hey. Love your blog. It’s very real and even though I’m a few years ahead of you (dealing with teenagers instead of toddlers), I relate. I’m a former military spouse. I get choked up on patriotic holidays. Dh still travels a lot for work, even though he’s out of the military and it still is hard, so I know how you feel there too. I beat myself up for falling off the exercise wagon, I need to scrap for myself rather than for assignments so I can love it again… Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Enjoy your time with your mom. 🙂

  159. Just saying hi! Hope that you have a wonderful weekend with those sweet chicas! 🙂

  160. I am so with you on Memorial Day not being observed as it was meant to be – most of the holidays have fallen victim to the problem. (((hugs))) and I hope your mom brings you some much-needed R&R…

  161. I’ve totally been having those ‘going crazy’ days. We’ll be with family for vacation soon and I keep trying to hold out till then.

  162. Hi Stephanie! I can see how all of the sales and bbq hoopla could annoy you. It seems food and shopping drive so many of our holidays now and take the focus off the real meaning. I will be marking Memorial Day by watching my son and his award-winning high school marching band lead our town’s Memorial Day Parade. It is a wonderful parade with two high school bands, scouts in full uniform, the fire department and many veterans. Love your post. It always feels good to step away from the paper crafting and blog my heart out too! Thanks for the reminder. Here’s my post: http://eterno-lyyours.blogspot.com/2012/05/blogging-my-heart-out-card.html. Glad you are enjoying your new job. Wishing you a wonderful visit with your mother!

  163. Hello. Hi. Today, we celebrate with BBQ, laughter, stories, photos, and soaking in the warmth of the sun. We celebrate Memorial Day by having a party that celebrates life because people like my father, whom died in Vietnam in 1968 and my step-father who served as well in what we considered, a conflict. Do not be bogged down by those who “do not get it.” For it is those, like my father, grandfather, uncles, cousins, and my son that have taken on the burden to secure democracy and it allows me to celebrate safely and securely with laughter and Memories. I celebrate today with THANKS because my father gave the ultimate price. You should also celebrate with great pride, joy, and a BIG OLD PARTY…because your “J” is part of the reason we get to do this.
    SMILE, LOVE, and Remember with this huge big WAKE!

  164. Hi! I love your honesty! I too have not blogged nor scrapbooked alot lately. Love how you open up, still trying to work on that!

  168. hey sweet girl- just working and wading through the comments and replying on each blog…and your link says the blog does not exist?
    thank you for your kind comment.xoxo

  171. I’m glad I found this post through another friend…it is amazing what can happen when we just spill out guts huh!! I’m sorry for your feelings about Memorial Day…and I hope you know there are people out there that DO care and think about the Military families and wives a LOT on those days. You guys AMAZE me and bring tears to my eyes when I truly think about all you’ve given!! THANK YOU…I hope you were able to enjoy SOME of your holiday weekend…and thanks again for doing this post and getting myself to do it too!!!
    Hugs 🙂

  173. I totally get you about Memorial Day. Every since I was a child, that was the day we went to the cemetary and placed flowers and remembered. There was no BBQ.

  174. Everyone has been where you are. You are never alone especially since Heavenly Father is on your side. You can do it. I have watched you and I know you can. You are loved and so very “marvelous darling”. 🙂 I love your posts. Hugs, Ketena