yesterday we had a christmas party at j’s work. i was SO excited to

a. get out of the dang house (and specifically the dang chair)

b. wear something other than pajamas

c. get the  freaking  nursing pillow OFF FROM AROUND MY WAIST

d.  talk to grown ups

e.get the bigs into their Christmas dresses (I wasn’t sure when they would wear them this year!!)

f. all of the above.

h’s dress is from gymboree, sadie’s is from target.

the littles also had christmas dresses, but they are 3-4 times too big for them, so they just wore christmas footsie pajamas. and slept the entire time. :)good baby girls.

 

 

 

hahaah, love this one.

sadie is SUCH a mess. i love that girl.

 

when did harper turn into a GIRL? holy cow.

it is impossible to keep sadie’s hair looking “distinguished” as she says. impossible. cute girl!

then i handed the camera to j and asked him to snap some photos of me and the girls. well, let’s just say every single one of them was either overexposed or blurry.

but that’s okay. i still treasure these. i’m so happy whenever i’m able to BE in photos. and i need to do it more often.

 

 

what the what is that face sadie is making? her faces KILL me. i hope she makes them forever.i am a VERY facially expressive person. i am always making faces. i think she got this from me.

 

i hope you are having a beautiful week. staying warm, spending time with those you love, and celebrating.

love to you all!

xxo

s

 

 

 

 this is my life. babies, babies and more babies. poopy diapers, nursing, burping, swaddling, rocking, cuddling, soothing, holding.

lots of sleeping (well, for the babies at least!) please note how many sleeping pictures i have. HA!

i noticed that i have lots more photos of lucy than cate. this is because cate a. gives me the stink eye every time i try to photograph her, then spazzes out and moves around, so that she is only a blur in every photo i try to take. also, every time i try she wakes up. and i do NOT want that. 🙂

here’s some of my favorites…you are probably tired of baby photos by now, but too dang bad. (wink)

and what are the bigs doing while i take care of the littles, you may ask?

why, they are running wild. and entertaining me.while i sit on the bed with the double nursing pillow. all.day.long.

with crazy glasses

and dress up.

gotta love the backwards kate gosselin wig. please note the extra clean bedroom in the background of this photo. this is for those of you who ask how my house is always so spotless. it’s not. 😉

 

and j? well he sleeps. of course. hehehe.

have a beautiful, blessed week!

xxo

s

or shall i say inside the heart of this army wife, as obviously all army wives do not have the same opinions.

inside the heart of this army wife there is

a deep appreciation and admiration for my husband and what he does. especially because i know i could never do what he does. i’d be terrifed. and i’d cry every time someone yelled at me.

the ability (cultivated over years of practice) to smile even when my heart is breaking, even when i’m terrified. the ability to pull myself together.

the intense longing to see pt’s in the washing machine. boots by the door. to smell that “army/infantry smell”. it smells like dirt and sand and sweat…and if i smell it it means he is HOME.

the belief that this life is what you make of it. that it is MY responsibility to make the best of situation. my children are watching me.

i will not be one of the ones who constantly complains about my husband being gone. about having to move all the time. i refuse.

i knew what i was getting into when i said “i do”. he went to west point for goodness sake. it’s not as if he was a shoe salesman who enlisted.

i knew what i was getting into. and i wanted this life. i chose this life.

and when i did that i forfeited the right to complain. having him in my life, by my side, is worth it all.

 

in the mind of this army wife

is the thought that we are so BLESSED to be able to experience this country. to see all of it.

the belief that it is wonderful that my husband does something he truly LOVES. something he excels at. something that satisfies him.

is the ability to be able to pack up a house in hours and then have it unpacked in a matter of days.

is the idea that it’s my job to make my home a safe place for my husband. to never belittle him or what he does. to always have his back. to defend him and believe in him.

is a constant prayer. for his safety. and to be honest, that nagging “what if”. i always have to prepare for the future. to know what to do. just in case.

 

a lot of you ask what it is like. it’s hard to explain. it’s amazing, and humbling, and terrifying, and wonderful all at once.

there is nothing scarier than saying goodbye to your husband the day he leaves. i can’t even explain it to you. there is no possible way to put it into words. absolutely, positively, physically, emotionally, and mentally painful.

there is also nothing better than holding your husband in your arms when he returns. it’s pure bliss.

are parts of this life hard? you betcha. i leave friends every few years (if not every year). it’s hard to make new ones. i miss j when he is gone. it’s lonely. it’s scary. sometimes it’s so scary i get physically ill (and that is why i don’t watch the news when he is gone). even when he is home, he’s not here. you don’t “leave your work at the office” when you are a soldier.

sometimes i have to physically restrain myself when i hear women complaining about husbands that play golf too much, or women who say they can’t survive if their husband goes out of town for the night. while everyone has the innate right to feel the way they feel, it hurts to hear things like that. i would give anything to be in that position.

i’ve been married to j for almost 8 years. he’s been gone for about at least half of that.

i am independent. i love being that way. i don’t need to have him here to take care of me. it sure is nice, though!

elizabeth stone said that “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

i agree. but i also think that the same can be said of those who marry a soldier.

i would not change this life for anything.

 

in the heart of this army wife

is the knowledge that i’m right where i am supposed to be.

anticipation, hope and fear for what the future holds,

and an immense sense of pride.

xo

s

p.s. all photos are from jimmy’s promotion to Major last year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

i’d be terrified too, if i were lucy.

nose sucker.

i bet she’ll have big brown eyes, like her biggest sister.

we are doing well this week, just tired and not much to share. 🙂

hope you have a beautiful day…it is like 22 degrees here, which is COLD for us!

good thing we never leave the house. 🙂 well, not good. to be honest, i’m developing a bit of cabin fever. yikes.

stay warm!

xo

you know the moments. everything is going along beautifully. you feel like you have all your ducks in a row, all the balls in the air..

all

under

control.

and then something happens to remind you just how overwhelmed, how sleep-deprived you really are?

it might be something little. finding the OJ in the pantry. your glasses in the refrigerator. starting the coffee without a filter.

or something bigger. almost leaving the house without a shirt on. oh yes, that was me yesterday. can you imagine me driving down the highway with my nursing bra on? that paints a pretty picture. let’s be honest. these days, there’s not much reason to put a shirt on. the babies eat all the time! hahaha!

or it can be something really big.

yesterday i got everyone dressed, packed the diaper bag, got everyone fed and in the car. drove 45 minutes to the babies 2 week appointment, and when i got close to Fort Stewart, I realized I didn’t have my wallet.

To get on an army post you have to have a form of ID. The Hospital is on an army post.

No

Wallet.

Next available appointment? Dec 21.

Awesome.

I called Jimmy, crying and feeling really sorry for myself. I got mad at myself for a minute. I think it’s important as mothers to have those moments. Mini pity parties, I call them. They only have to last a few minutes.

Then I pulled myself together and figured it out. I called the lactation consultant and I’m going to visit her on Monday to get them weighed. The rest of it can wait.

But oh, did I feel like I was losing my ever-loving mind.

I came home (babies both screaming all the way, mind you), fed the babies and got them to sleep, got the big girls into their room for quiet rest time, and I scrapped.

I decided, just for a moment, to ignore the dirty dishes in the sink. To leave all of the clean clothes on the floor in a pile for a bit longer. To forget about mopping the sticky syrup floor for a bit longer.

Making things makes me feel better. And today? Is a new day. Two whole days with Jimmy home to help. I couldn’t be happier! And next time?

I’ll make sure I have the #*#$*#($* wallet.

happy saturday!

xoxo

s