if you need me, i’ll be hiding in the laundry room drinking sauvignon blanc. don’t worry…i’ll make sure to do laundry at the same time as to stay productive.

xoxoxoxo

 

 

today’s post has been rolling around in my heart and my head for a while now. reading ali’s wonderful post yesterday made me want to get these thoughts down. i’m not quite sure how to explain it properly, so please forgive me if today’s post is rambly and random.

scrapbooking has been both a blessing and a curse.

a blessing because it has giving me the gift of creating. of the happiness and release that comes with making something with my own two hands. in a way it has been a therapy for me.

through 7 of the 8 deployments our family has endured,scrapbooking has kept me sane. given me much needed “me time”.

the curse? that i now have memory keeper’s guilt.

it’s that moment when you realize you can not possibly document everything you want to remember.

it’s the way sadie says certain words incorrectly. the way that cate’s lock of hair falls in her face. the inside jokes i have with jimmy right now. our favorite meals. the way harper poses for photos. the way the babies dance,the way their little voices sound,the way they feel in my arms.

i want to remember the complexities of my relationships with my girls. the frustration combined with the moments that take my breath away (because i love them so much it hurts).

the way that my babies always smell like baby shampoo with a slight undercurrent of graham crackers (even though they don’t eat graham crackers).

i want to remember the way jimmy’s hand feels in mine, the way he looks at me,the way he smells and how safe he makes me feel.

how frustrated i get with him about the same silly things. and how i regret it instantly and put my head on his shoulder (because it’s hard for me to say i’m sorry).

i want to remember always moments like this:

each today is unique. my children will never be this exact age again. they will never sound and look the same. and it’s constantly changing. each day is a whirling dervish of lasts and firsts and everyday beautiful moments and silly frustrations and not so silly frustrations.

i simply can’t remember it all.

that’s human nature. i get that. but it doesn’t mean i don’t feel sad about it.

each day,each month,each year there will be things i want desperately to remember.

scrapbooking made me see in a way i’d never seen before. it made me hear in a new way. taste life in a new way.

but it also makes me sad and slightly panicky for all of the things i won’t remember.

you live,you savor,you experience every moment.if you get caught up in documenting too much of it…you miss living it.

so i am continuing to search for the right balance. i am starting to accept that i won’t remember it all,as much as i wish i could.

i am grateful for this blog,for social media.for my outlets that can capture the little things that will be forgotten quickly.

the little things will slip my mind.

but they all add up to make one big thing. i will always remember the thread of love,respect,and hilarity that ran through our lives.

that much i know.

life is a great big jumble of everyday moments. ordinary miracles. i sure wish i could grasp every single one and hold them close to my heart forever. does that make sense?

i can’t promise you that i’ll ever let go of my memory keeper’s guilt. it’s in my nature to think that way.

but remember i said it’s a blessing and a curse? the blessing part trumps the curse part. big time. every time.

happy friday y’all.

xoxo

 

 

 

no one cries over spilled milk in our house.

they spill it, make a guilty face, strategically place one lock of hair over their forehead for maximum cuteness,and flip us the bird.

okay, she’s not really flipping the bird, but it’s still funny.

happy wednesday!

p.s. that’s cate. 🙂

p.p.s. make sure you come back tomorrow, i’m hosting an awesome giveaway from stuck on you!

ayiyi. if you never hear from me again…you know why. 🙂

After several weeks without our belongings, they finally arrived on Wednesday.

This was a strange move,to say the least. We have done countless moves, three of them cross country,and we’ve never had one like this. It was supposed to be a door to door move and we were told that it would be,but that’s not how it worked out.

Our things were packed,loaded, crated,put in a warehouse in Savannah,then put on a train,then put in a warehouse here,then picked up by a moving company.

It was a disaster. The interim moving company pretty much dropped everything we owned,shoved everything into tiny moving crates with no rhyme or reason,and didn’t close 2 of the crates all the way. It rained really hard here in RI recently. You see where this is going,don’t you?

Yes…two crates flooded. Bikes,mattresses,rugs,framed art…wet.

There aren’t many “things” I have an attachment to. But our dinner table is one of them. J and I picked it out together, it was old and solid and beautiful. It had a story before it came to us. And it’s had many stories since.

Birthday parties,goodbye dinners,welcome home dinners, family moments,tears,laughter…that table has seen it all. And it was dropped in transit. One of the corners is completely gone,as if a sledge hammer was taken to it.

Yes,things are only things,but that thing had a story dang it.

I won’t get into the rest of the details…lots of damage,ruin,and a few tears shed by me. We will photograph,file claims,and hopefully be reimbursed.

We have so much more than so many people. I know that. But I wish they would have had more respect for the things that are dear to us. That’s what it comes down to.

I’ve been busy unpacking and making this house a home.

Determined to keep things in perspective. I won’t say I’m not upset.I kind of want to punch someone. Just a little bit.But in reality it doesn’t matter.

Don’t get me wrong, they will pay.That sounds kind of like I’m in the mob or something. HAHAH! But I’m so grateful for what I do have. Telling myself that over and over and looking at my sweet girls. Whilst raging inside.

 

Much love, my dear friends. Have a beautiful and blessed weekend.

xo