there is so much i could say and so much i don’t know how to say.

what happened to those precious babies in connecticut makes me sob.

it makes me want to scream until i have no voice left.

it makes me want to whisper this is bullshit.over and over and over and over and over. WHY?

it makes me wonder if there is any good left in this world (even though i know there is).

it makes me get down on my knees and pray until there is no prayer left in me.

i was the first one in harper’s carpool line yesterday. i held sadie in my lap all the way through the line as tears dripped down my face. i wanted my girls with me and i wanted them home.

part of me feels that i will never let them leave this home again (even though i know that’s not reasonable).

schools

movie theaters

malls.

it’s everywhere. hatred. voilence. fear.

those parents. those students. those teachers and administrators. the citizens of that sweet little town. right before christmas? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?

i can’t take it. it is agonizing. and wrong. and evil.

but i believe that there is light. that there is good. this prayer from max lucado says it better than i ever could.

i wanted to share it with all of you.

sending you love,comfort,light,hugs,and hope.

s

 

Dear Jesus, 

It’s a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I
have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.

 

https://www.stephaniehowell.com/there-is-so-much-i-could-say-and-so-much-i-dont-know-how-to-say-what-happened-to-those-precious-babies-in-connecticut-mak/

okay. this one’s actually not wordless(ish) at all. even by my standards. but here goes.

this image might seem simple. nothing extraordinary. the girls climbing on j while he plays a game with harper.

but to me? it is extraordinary. and it brings tears to my eyes.

because (for six months now) we have been together. every day, every night. we wake up together, fall asleep together.

pray together,eat together,laugh together,

get sick of each other TOGETHER.

it’s a luxury. one that i’m not getting used to (because that’s dangerous and is bound to lead to heartbreak)

but one that i’m savoring. the way i savor a delicous piece of chocolate. holding on to the sweetness for as long as possible.

i am NOT taking it for granted. this year, these memories, will get me through many lonely days and nights down the line.

i will hold on to his smile when he walks in the door each day (at a NORMAL hour…early even!)

i will hold on to the shrieks of “DADDYYYYYYY!” that i get to hear every day.

i will even hold on to the dirty clothes allll over the floor,dang it.

because it’s worth it.

and it’s a gift. i think of all of the beautiful,strong women and mothers i know who lost their brave husbands.

i think of their children. and how for them there is no more together. not until eternity when they will be with their soldier again.

how can i possibly not realize what a treasure this is?

it’s so sweet.

this year we are together.

thank you Lord. how could i ask for more?

xoxo

sans the wicked stepsisters and stepmother.

let’s be honest…my job description is actually eerily similar to cinderellas.

scrub the floors? check.

wash the dishes? check.

turn down the beds? check.

of course my bosses are way cuter and so much sweeter.

but anyway…it was fun to play cinderella at the ball last night. we had the naval war college holiday ball at rosecliff and it was fabulous.

random fact- the great gatsby was filmed there~

which was fitting,considering i went for a 20’s vibe.

here was what i found to wear:

and how it turned out:

 

don’t i have the most handsome prince charming in the world?

i think so. 🙂 it was so much fun.

amazing champagne,food,and conversation.

oh- and i didn’t turn into a pumpkin at midnight, but i did take my shoes off. hahaha!

hope your weekend was wonderful,too!

xoxoxo

S

they are this excited every single time they see her.

actually? last time they knocked her over. 🙂

is there anything better than a grandmother’s love?

yes. yes there is. there is the fact that for an entire week they will be saying “BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB”

instead of “mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy”. they ignore me when she is here. and i LOVE that. i get a break and she gets love.

win/win. 🙂

happy thursday,y’all!

xoxo

so i have to admit i miss blogging every day. i really do.

but i’m in this weird place where:

a. i have so much going on that i keep forgetting and

b. at the same time, i’m not sure what to write about.

those two things make a strange combination.i mean how is that even possible?

…and that’s why there’s been radio silence.

anyway, i’ll just talk about what i’ve been up to. that’s better than nothing,right?

i’ve been trying to run at least a mile a day.

yesterday i got up to about a mile and a half and thought that might not seem like a lot to some of you…

it was a major triumph to me. here’s to sticking with it!

i’ve joined elise’s mile a day challenge. read more about it here.

believe it or not, i’ve actually been scrapbooking a little bit!

i did two pages for a fun upcoming project i’m part of, and i’ve even doing some project life. way behind,but i’m doing it!

i know i keep saying this, but i really trully cannot believe that they are TWO.

man, time really flies when you are sleep deprived. 🙂

we had a blast. super low key. just us,a cake,and a few gifts. oh, and balloons. there always must be balloons. 🙂

darling shirts by my friend amy.

my only duty for thanksgiving was cocktails. i can handle that. 🙂

this is apple cider sangria and you MUST MAKE IT.

go now.

hint: i reccomend using less fruit than what it says.

when my brother andrew and sister in law ashley (how cute are they btw?) were in town for thanksgiving, we did a little tour of newport for them.

above we are on the 40 steps at the cliffwalk, on the beach on ocean drive and at the breakers. totally downton abbey, no?

my little brother is an amazing chef.

he took over thanksgiving and i was HAPPY to let him. 🙂

my personal favorite? the lobster mac+cheese. YUM.

i wish he could come visit every year. and not just b/c he can cook.

i love you andrew and ashley!

 

what else have i been up to? hmmm.

{not pictured}

submitting my very first class proposal for BPC…finally!

watching lots of breaking bad

cleaning nonstop. do you have any idea how MESSY twin 2 year olds are? UGH! i sweep the floors about 93840238 times a day!

getting ready for my mama to come tomorrow.

preparing for the ball this weekend.

that’s about it!

happy tuesday. 🙂 xoxo