i just can’t! 

how does it seem like the longest, scariest 9 months of my life,

but also like it flew by in the blink of an eye?

that doesn’t even seem possible!

i can’t believe that when he left sadie looked like this:

and that now she looks like this:

i can’t believe that the last time he spent more than a few days with harper, 

she looked like this:

and that this is her now:

btw, if you ask her what she was doing in this photo, she will say 

“cwapbooking”.

i can’t believe he’s missed thanksgiving, christmas, my birthday, sadie’s birthday, his 30th birthday, valentine’s day, and our 6 year anniversary.

i can’t believe he left when it was sweltering TX hot and that when it turns hot again,

he will be home.

i can’t believe there are only 3 links left on that paper chain that used to be so long,

we had to loop it once so that it didn’t hang too close to harper’s bed.

gosh, this army life is insane.

and amazing.

and scary.

like the song says it’s an 

“crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic

awful, beautiful life”.

that’s really how i feel about it.

and we are almost through this deployment. 

i’m weary of letting myself feel complacent, safe, or too hopeful.

b/c that’s when you get blind-sided, know what i mean?

hmm. nice ramblings stephanie.

my mind is all over the place today!

 

hope you are having a beautiful day!

xo

s

 

 

slowly but surely going crazy while we wait for daddy to come home.

ETA: some of you are wondering what we are laughing at in the photo below..we are actually screaming, or um…shrieking.

harper and sadie do this thing where they SCREAM these ear piercing girlie screams at each other. i joined in on the fun below. =)

and enjoying this precious, fleeting time we have together.

thanks , kelly, for making me step out from BEHIND the camera and for pointing out that i needed to get in photos with my girls. oh, and thanks for these precious photographs.

we are having a lazy sunday over here.

took all of kelly goree’s classes this weekend. if you ever get a chance to see her teach, do so. it’s a fantastic experience. and she is a genuine, wonderful person.

i’ll be back tomorrow with a “real post”,

but i just wanted to stop in today and say hey.

hope you all had a  beautiful weekend filled with laughter and love.

xo

s

we had planned our wedding in one week.

well, let me backtrack.

i had planned a big, traditional, BIG (can’t say that enough) wedding at west point.

i had the dress, the hotel and church booked, the florist and photographer booked.

jimmy was in ranger school and we were unsure of where we would be after we got married and if he would have to deploy.

our wedding was planned for august.

j came home from ranger school and pretty much told me he wouldn’t be around in august (he would be on his very first deployment to afghanistan).

so we said, what are we waiting for? and we decided to just do it.

i taught my second grade class the week of the wedding. monday through friday i worked. jimmy was on leave, so he basically planned the “second wedding”.

he found flowers similar to the ones i initially wanted,

he got my one of a kind dress (that was not to be made until june) made and overnighted (even got them to waive a massive fee),

he booked my church and my minister (who i LOVED dearly),

he invited friends and family to come in town THAT weekend.

so back to what i was saying.

six years ago i woke up to my wedding day.

i had a dress and a bouquet, we had a chapel.

no programs, no long line of bridesmaids, no music (except a pianist who played, among other things, america the beautiful), no first dance, no favors, no table settings. heck, we had no tables. the reception was at my parents home. they had already moved to waco, leaving the house in houston empty.

we strung up twinkle lights and bought lots of champagne.

to this day, some of my friends say it was the best wedding they’ve ever attended. that little chapel was full, some people even stood. but, from what i’ve heard, the love was palpable in that little room.

and that’s what it’s all about right?

since the day i met this man (how young do we look???)

he has  changed my life in a million ways.

some obvious, some much more subtle.

i always thought i wanted a HUGE wedding, martha stewart style.

but he has taught me to appreciate the little things, and to concentrate on the important things, like our love.

and i never ever thought i’d be where i am today. but oh, what a blessing it is.

james carr howell, thank you for loving me and for teaching me to love myself.

thank you for showing me the measure of a true man. the quiet strength you possess is the foundation for our family. you are our hero and the love of my life.

happy sixth anniversary, baby.

xo

i initially included this layout in yesterday’s jack and jill post. but i wanted to move it today’s post b/c it so accurately sums up the way i feel (and have a hard time putting into words sometimes.) 

have a beautiful, blessed weekend!

xo

s

Good stuff, keep the entries coming in, you have until Friday!

It’s grey and gloomy here, I’ve got the blahs/drearies a bit.

I’m sure it will be better soon, we are getting little stir crazy around here.

The girls are getting over being sick, and I’m wondering if Miss S is still feeling bad,

she is so very clingy and she’s crying lots.

Bless her little heart.

Speaking of Miss S, check out this hair:

and that pug nose. heee! i had the same nose when I was a baby.

she’s into animal sounds right now, she walks around saying RUFF RUFF, hisssss, and ooh ooh ahh ahh. she’s a funny one.

and she’s still needling harper every chance she gets. 

H and I had a fairy tea party the other night. 

She’s gotten super picky at meal time (this is the child that usually devours EVERYTHING), so the tea party is a fun way to get her to eat.

I was looking through photos from J’s leave and found this one:

Technically it’s not a great photo,

but it makes me happy nevertheless. Look at the two of them!

Have a beautiful day!

xo