i’ve noticed some gorgeous light lately.

i love this time of year. we may not get a traditional fall here in TX,

but i love the cooler air, the sunshine, the beautiful light at the end of the day.

in my backyard right before the sun went down the other day:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and this morning in the bathroom:

 

 

 

 

hope you have a beautiful weekend full of love, laughter, happiness, and light.

love to you all. xo

story time.

so j and i met in june of 2000. we were pretty much boyfriend and girlfriend from the very beginning. none of that “dating” or “getting to know each other” stuff. 

we knew we wanted to be together. we really liked each other right away and we were pretty much inseparable right from the get-go.

i’d had two serious-ish boyfriends. one who was TOO nice to me and let me get away with too much, and one who was just the opposite. not nice to me. mean, actually. didn’t let me get away with anything at all. 

like the lyrics to that jo dee messina song…i needed a man to stand beside me. not in front of or behind me.

and in june of 2000 i met him. now let me point something out. i looked at college as a time to date. a stepping stone for finding the one i wanted to marry. but i was NOT like those girls at baylor who were there for their “MRS” degree. and there were lots of them. at a conservative baptist school in the south? you betcha there were lots of them.

but not me. i was having fun. a social butterfly.

flitting from this boy to that boy, and not trying to “marry” any of them.

until i met james carr howell.

the first night i met him i was…um…besotted (to borrow a word from jane austen and from my friend may flaum). seriously. and how could you NOT be. have you seen his eyes? his smile? the cleft in his chin? his olive skin? okay, i digress.

i met him at a stop light on the way home from work. yes, you heard right.

i was driving home from work (a place called sea and ski) when my friend luke pulled up in his pickup with a cute boy in the passenger seat. he asked where i was headed. i said home (getting increasingly more flustered by the moment-flustered by the boy in the passenger seat) and he said they were headed to watch a hockey game at beverly’s, a local seedy bar that we all adored.

beverly was a redhead who’d had a bit of a hard life. she was truly kind of like betty from army wives. a bit “grizzled” and a recovering alcoholic. but not recovering well. she was known to secretly hit the sauce and then pull out her portable karaoke machine and carry it around all night singing maudlin love songs. i sang backup to brooks and dunn’s neon moon with her one night, and she loved me from that point on.

lots happened at beverly’s. gossip about boys, breakups (one, over the phone, right after my grandfather had died…that boy was NOT very sensitive) , crying in bathrooms (after said breakup), and even the viewing of the very last 90210. bev’s was a big part of my college experience. but i never expected to meet the man i would marry there.

that night, after work, i walked in wearing jeans, flip flops, a tank top, no makeup except for a smidge of lip gloss, and my hair in a bun. cute, huh? not. 

but he didn’t care. believe it or not, the new boy only had eyes for me. he flirted with me. he stood up for me when luke made fun of the fact that i’m not well-endowed in cup size (it’s true. i’ve always been an “almost a”, and i’ve always been a bit sensitive about it). luckily, i met a “legs and booty” guy. so, like i was saying…he stood up for me.

he looked at me all night long. all.night.

while we sat around a big table talking. while we played pool. while we played shuffleboard. at my friends house, later, where we talked more. and laughed and laughed and laughed.

funny thing is, i didn’t really think he went to west point. i thought he was a UT boy who was acting like he went to west point. he had mentioned he was on his way to austin the next day. he kind of looked like a UT boy, but way more laid-back. the guys kept ribbing him, saying things like “cadet” howell, but he did not seem like a soldier. so i just thought it was a joke.

turns out he was a cadet. duh. 😉

and the trip to austin was to see a girl he’d been dating off and on since high school.

but let me tell you this. he never went to see her. ever again.

because that night, under the stars, i may or may not have pushed him up against a brick wall. and kissed him until his head was dizzy.

heeee. i loved him. or at the very least wanted to make out with him for the rest of my life.

i mean, really. have you NOT seen those eyes, that smile…… i could go on forever.

who would have EVER thought that i’d credit beverly’s and the dallas stars when talking about how i met my husband.

next time, how i ended up telling him i loved him as he was walking out of the bathroom.

always so romantic, i am.

happy wednesday. xo

 

 

okay. so j and i dated for about 3 1/2 years before we got engaged.

j was cautious about marriage (for several reasons), as he should have been , but i KNEW. i swear i knew from the moment we kissed. which may or may not have been the first night we met and which may or may not have been initiated by me.

ahem.

anyway, we had talked about it a bit, but never been to look at rings or anything like that.

christmas 2002, we were on our way to waco to visit my parents. we started talking about marriage and j. began to catalog all of the reasons he just wasn’t remotely ready.

i flipped. flipped out.

for lots of reasons. i didn’t want to be across the country from each other. we’d done that  (west point and baylor) and i was OVER it. little did i know i had a LOT of that ahead of me. heee~!

i didn’t want to move if i wasn’t certain of our future. i loved him more than i’d ever loved anyone before.  honestly, no one had ever come close.

the kind of love that changes your world. that makes everything look different than it did before. i NEEDED to be where he was. to start a life with him, to start making our history together. i didn’t want anything in the world more than i wanted to marry him. it was all consuming. truly.

so, as i was saying i flipped. actually, he had to pull the car over b/c i was crying so hard. yes, it was not my finest moment.

here’s the funny part: he had the ring in his backpack in the back of the car. but clearly i didn’t know this.

so, as soon as i pulled myself together, we started driving. to be honest, i was PISSED at him. really, truly mad. i thought there was something wrong with me…i don’t know. i wasn’t thinking clearly, but i was not a happy camper.

i knew that he was going to have a drink with my father that night. my dad had been asking me when he was going to pull it together and ask me to marry him. i finally said I DON’T KNOW! WHY DON’T YOU ASK HIM YOURSELF??? yes, can you tell i was fed up?

by the time we got to waco i was thinking lovely. just lovely. this is going to be a fabulous weekend. a SPECIAL christmas. just great. (did i mention i was ticked off??).

j and my dad went to a restaurant. at this restaurant jimmy asked my dad for my hand in marriage. he told him that he was planning to ask me on the suspension bridge in waco (where he first told me he was falling in love with me). my dad happily gave him permission and told him to do it when the moment felt right. j put the ring in his pocket and came home.

where i was waiting for him wearing a red sorority t-shirt, leopard pajama pants, and socks WITH THE GRIPPERS ON THE BOTTOMS. like footsies for grown ups.

oh yes. if you have any doubt in your mind that i was clueless that a proposal was coming, then please refer to the previous paragraph.

jimmy found me in front of the fireplace. i wouldn’t look at him. i was on the verge of tears.  you see, my dad had come in the house before j did, and he wouldn’t look at me. he seemed mad. he slammed a cabinet in the kitchen. it was just WEIRD.

*turns out that he knew if he looked at me, he’d grin and the jig would be up…but i didn’t know this. i was certain j had told my daddy that he didn’t want to marry me.

back to the fireplace.

i was glowering.

j asked if he could do anything to make me happy. we had a game we always played. he’d ask me that question, and i’d say “give me a prize!!!” and he’d pull something random out of his pocket (change, a receipt) and give it to me. just a silly tradition we have.

automatically, i said “give me a prize!!!” when he asked if he could do anything.

he told me to close my eyes. i think i said something like “I’m NOT in the mood for this!”.

first he put a quarter in my hand

then lint

then a dime (found out later that he had, at that split second, decided to propose and was working up the courage).

but i didn’t know this and i’m pretty sure i growled and/or hissed at him.

then i opened my eyes one last time and found a sparkly diamond ring in my palm. it looked exactly like the tiffany engagement ring that i’d had tacked on my cork board for YEARS. i mean, he was looking that whole time? he paid attention?

j got on his knees next to me. at this point we were both on our knees, and i (for the first time in my life) was stunned to silence. and j looked just as stunned as i did…he’s not one to make split-second decisions.

he said something simple, along the lines of “stephanie elise steakley,  i love you. will you spend the rest of your life with me?”…and here is where i said…

wait for it…

IS THIS REAL????

by this, i think i meant…is this ring real? are you real?? you are too good to be true…is this whole situation real or am i dreaming? i’m pretty sure i’m not dreaming because i would NOT be wearing this in a dream about getting engaged. hell no.

and in the other room i hear my dad say “no, it’s a fake diamond!!” in a DUHHH tone

and then it hit me. i screamed. i cried. i said YESYESYESYES.

and that’s how i became an engaged woman. engaged to the man of my dreams.

while wearing booties for adults. and fugly leopard pj pants.ah yes. the most romantic story ever told.

HA!

xoxoxo

s

J headed to Ft. Benning this morning, the chickies were SO cute.

They stood in the front yard in their pajamas waving to him and yelling BYE DADDDDYYY!!! and blowing kisses until he was long gone. 

This one was much easier than the goodbyes we said a little over a year ago. Here is what I was thinking to myself as he drove off.

Do NOT cry. A year ago, you would have given ANYTHING for your husband to be safe in Georgia for three weeks. Pull it together woman!!

And I did. We kissed and waved and danced in the rain and said “IT’S THE THREE HOWELL GIRLS AGAIN!!! IT’S AN ADVENTURE!!!”.  

Because it always is. And we are so lucky that we have each other.

So no whining. No crying. No woe is me. As I tell the girls…Daddy is surrounded by girls. We are NOT allowed to be whiney girls. Three weeks is time for lots of “howell gull dates” as Harper calls them. Lots of art, dress up, painting, singing, and acting verrry girly.

Also, breakfast for dinner if we want. Daddy does not like that. but we do. hehe!

It’s been raining for days. We needed it badly, but I still have not had the back tin roof replaced, so once again our playroom/scraproom is covered in tarps and buckets. Loverly.

Regardless, I plan to scrap my little heart out at my desk, surrounded by buckets. I’ll think of it as ambiance. Uhh, yeah. Sounds like a plan!

I’m in a blog slump. I feel like I’ve said it all, KWIM?

This week I think I’ll share the story of how J and I got engaged…it’s sort of funny.

Happy Saturday, sweet friends!

xoxo