Almost 6 (WHOA!) years ago, I wrote this post. To this day, it is one of my favorite posts ever. I thought that I’d revisit the subject matter today. Six years and one additional child later. Since I wrote the post, we’ve done an international move, another move, and a move to Alaska. I’ve given birth to another baby girl (Cora).

It’s a season of carpooling and sports and dances and social events and homeschooling and toddler drama and tween drama and solo parenting and trying to take care of me, my heart, and my spiritual health in the middle of the chaos.

But.

The words I wrote back then still resonate with me SO MUCH. Perhaps even more.

 

EVERYONE IS BUSY.

It is a gift. It means you’ve been given LIFE.A full-to-the-brim life. A life that doesn’t stop.

Listen here. We are all busy.

But life is too beautiful to be spent running by,yelling you are busy, making someone feel insignificant.

Life is busy.

And beautiful. And sometimes you have to MAKE yourself sit down (right in the mess of it) and enjoy it, instead of picking it up.

It is always worth it to stop and have a conversation with someone. It is always worth it to look at your children when they are talking to you. And to respond.

It is always worth it to get off the phone and say thank you.

Your busyness? Does not make you better or different. It gives us something in common. It makes you like every other woman, man, parent, adult out there.

It’s not an excuse or a badge or a medal.

It’s life.

 

In the post I write about a woman who always made me feel that she was too busy to stop and talk to me. I think of her often, as I am now around her age and in the stage of life she was in.

I think of her often because I am determined to never make anyone feel the way that she made me feel.

Insignificant.

I have five kids 12 years and under. I have a husband currently undertaking battalion command. Which means he is either gone, or here but not really here…if you know what I mean.

And guess what? I don’t use it as an excuse to make others feel small.

I will always, always, always have time to stop and talk and connect and encourage and LISTEN. To form bonds and build bridges. I  still don’t believe that “busy” is an appropriate first response when someone asks how I am.

Does that mean that I’m not busy? That I’m not losing my mind a tiny bit? That I don’t feel like I’m running on a treadmill that’s going too fast sometimes? HELL NO.

If you are reaching out for help and drowning because of your busyness, then that’s one thing. That’s bravery. But if you are using it as a cop out? Not okay.

We are all busy to some degree. Again, that doesn’t make ANY of us special or superior or set apart.

Living in Italy really, truly drove this point home. There is no culture of “busyness” in Italy. No mom competition, no “the busier I am the more important I am”, no “who do you know and how connected are you”.

Then try moving to DC after Italy. HOLY COW. Y’all. It’s an epidemic. I have never been around more people so wrapped up in their to do list and their busyness.

Here’s the bottom line.

If I ever become so busy, or caught up in the notion of my own busyness, that I can’t stop, talk to you, and make you feel important, acknowledged, and loved…THEN WHAT IS THE POINT? 

I still freaking remember how dumb I felt when my neighbor would run by me yelling “TOO BUSY TO TALK!”.  I felt silly and embarrassed and I eventually stopped trying to speak to her.

Life is so beautiful. And yes, busy. But being present and attentive and talking to one another…that’s the good stuff. The stuff that matters. The ties that bind. I don’t ever want anyone to feel less than.

That’s who I want to be and how I want to be remembered.

xoxo

S

 

In between last time we talked and now…

Let’s see. Hmm.

1.Summer came and left in a matter of weeks. It was brief and beautiful and entirely too short.

 

2. I turned 41. The day was full of books and good food and the people I love. It was just about perfect.

3. The girls started school. 7th grade, 5th grade, and two 2nd graders. Oh my heart!

4. I read an inordinate amount of books. Some amazing, some good,  and a few meh. Post to come.

 

6. We visited Seward and totally fell in love. I want to write about this here.

7. I started a partnership with Harper Books (an imprint of Harper Collins) as an ambassador and it was and is a dream come true.

8. Autumn came and left. It lasted 2 weeks. I kept hearing it would go by quickly, but I thought people were exaggerating. They weren’t.

 

9. I furnished a house in on-post housing. Which means there are tan/poop colored Formica countertops and vertical blinds and it looks like a barracks and a dorm had a love child in the 80’s. But I’m doing my best to make it a safe, cozy, love-filled space and I think I’m succeeding.

10. Sadie and Harper started playing competitive soccer. I wasn’t prepared for the $$$ and the time investment but J says we are investing in their future. So I guess I’m a soccer mom!

11. I went to southern CA and met with the Me and My Big Ideas/Happy Planner®️ team. They spoiled their team and treated us to a tour of headquarters, all of the new planner goodies, and a trip to DisneyLand. But my favorite part wasn’t the swag or the stuff or the freebies. It was meeting my friend Stephanie Fleming. I’ve “known” Stephanie through the Internet for years and she has been such a wonderful friend, mentor, encourager, and inspiration to me. Finally meeting her was incredibly memorable and special.

 

12. I made the long, heart-wrenching and incredibly difficult decision to homeschool Cate and Lucy. The reasoning is complicated and personal, but the bottom line is this. I won’t let them fall through the cracks. I am going to pour my heart and soul into teaching them to love reading. And giving them the self-confidence they need to be lifelong readers. If there is any interest, I’d love to chronicle our journey here.

 

The past few months have been magical and wonderful and hard and lonely (I haven’t seen J very often) and incredibly character building. I hope to keep returning to this space to reconnect with you guys. Are you out there? Are you still reading? Does anyone even blog anymore? HA! If you are there, tell me a little bit about yourself. I miss you!

 

Stephanie

We made it!

We’ve been in The Land of the Midnight Sun for over 2 weeks now and I thought it was about time to fill y’all in!

We are doing great and I am slowly easing myself into pretending to be outdoorsy. Also see under: slapping a hysterical, frozen smile on my face whilst repeating (in a weird, high-pitched voice) THIS IS GREAT!!! I’VE TOTALLY GOT THIS!!!

Here’s the thing, y’all. I’ll let you in on a little secret. The worst kept secret of all time. I am not outdoorsy. Like, not even a little bit. The other day I was at the PX buying a styrofoam cooler for ice. The lady asked if I was going camping and I literally said “EWW NO!” It escaped my mouth before I even had time to think about it. She looked very confused. That is not the standard answer around here.

I have never enjoyed camping. Or hiking. Or bugs or peeing in the woods or NATURE. As Cora says, I NO YIKE IT.

But you know what else I don’t enjoy? Being miserable. And I will become miserable if I don’t adapt here so I am going to become outdoorsy, dammit.

I want to fully embrace our two years here. And if that means strapping on the hiking boots or snowshoes or crampons, then by God I will. I want to bloom where I’m planted. I won’t spend my time here wishing I was somewhere else. It is GORGEOUS here. And to experience that beauty, I need to be outside.

We had our very first family hike the other day. We went to Angel Rocks. It started off sorta dicey, with the girls screaming about the giant bugs and the potties at the camp site (THOSE ARE SO DEEP AND SO FULL OF POOP) but it ended up going really well. I can’t lie. I totally brought up the rear and I was out of breath and out of shape, but Jimmy reminded me that when we got to Italy, I almost died the first time we had to walk across little downtown Vicenza. And by the end of our three years there, we walked across all of Rome, Florence, and Paris. We walked to the top of the duomo and the top of Mont St Michel. We walked alllll over Sardinia and Normandy and Halstatt and Munich. It became second nature.  I have to acclimate to this.

 

On the way home we almost hit a moose. Like…missed him by a foot. Sadie screamed WHAT THE HECK IS THAT, A CAMEL?

The Howells have much to learn about Alaska, y’all.

Let the education begin.

xoxo

S