Seven years ago I wrote this post.
And then two years ago I wrote this post.
The main idea of both posts boils down to this… don’t get so caught up in “busy” that you use it as an excuse to make others feel unimportant.
That’s basically the heart of it.
And now…I’d like to revisit the entire concept as a mom with a 15 year old, 13 year old, two 10 year olds, and a six year old.
HAHAHA. If the me of seven years ago only knew.
But do I still agree with what the Stephanie of seven years ago said? ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY.
We are ALL busy. Every single one of us. We all have our own stuff going on. But telling someone you are too busy for them is….hurtful. It just is.
Being busy doesn’t make you more special or valuable than the next person. I’m sorry but it’s true.
I refuse to use the notion of “being busy” to shoot someone down when they are trying to connect with me.
Am I busy? Hell yes. I have 5 kids playing 4 different sports. I have two teenagers who have active social lives. I have social obligations and military life obligations and all sorts of nonsense going on.
But when a friend texts me to take a walk or go thrifting? I say yes. Or I say “rain check?” if I have something else scheduled at that time and we pick a date to reschedule right then and there. And I write it down.
I am 44 years old and I STILL remember the way that woman from the initial post made me feel. TEN years later and I still remember how insignificant and unimportant she made me feel.
Now. How do you stop being consumed by “busyness”?
I have one tip that works in beautifully. Schedule in No Thank You Days.
Have one day a week (for me it is usually Thursdays) where I say no thank you to volunteering, carpooling, or doing anything social. One day where I commit to staying home all day long.
If you work full time this will look different for you. It may be a “No Thank You Evening” or “No Thank You Weekends”. It’s a time to recover, recharge, reprioritize, and reevaluate. It may be a day where you do absolutely nothing. It may be a day that you do chores all day. But it’s 24 hours where you regain your footing.
And it helps so so so much.
What if you are someone who has allowed your “busy” to hurt others…and you didn’t even realize it? If you look back through your texts with someone and realize you’ve said “no” or “sorry I’m too busy” over and over and over…just reach out and connect. Apologize. Acknowledge that you know you’ve been distracted and that you’ve made them feel less than and you’re sorry. It’s as simple as that.
Schedule time with people you love. It can be a 30 minute walk or a phone call/Facetime or a 10 minute coffee run. Ask friends to run errands with you.
Don’t let “busyness” rule your life and devalue your relationships. It will suck your soul and your joy right out of you.
Have a beautiful day, y’all! xoxo