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Stephanie Howell

reading, organizing, shopping, momming too close to the sun. Home is wherever the Army sends us.

Blog Your Heart | January 2014 Edition


Time for the January edition!

Here are the “rules” (same as always):

eta- this is NOT just for the last 2 days in January. add your link ANY TIME before the next BYH!

1. Blog whatever is authentic. Whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. It can be serious, silly, short, long. NOTE:No one said it has to be serious. But it should be authentic.

3. No judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.If you are going to read the blogs linked below, don’t be mean. Nothing here is whining, though I can’t help it if you perceive it that way. It’s me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it’s whining, then you don’t have to read. šŸ™‚

4. If you BYH, link back here. I’ll add an Inlinkz tool at the end of the post. I always read and comment on every single post.

5. Feel free to use the graphic above. Just make sure to link back to me.


As per usual, I feel the need to add a completely random picture that makes me laugh.

Okay. Here goes nothing!

1. I am taking Body Pump class a few times a week. I am a DISASTER. My balance is horrible, I’m awkward (note to self: do NOT look at yourself in the mirror. OMG) and shaky and week. But it feels so good to make myself do something. Even if I’m so sore the next day I can hardly walk!

2. I’m almost done with The Book Thief. I’m certain it’s going to break my heart.

3. I’m starting to make some really great friends here. It feels so good to spend time with women who make me laugh really hard and who I can trust. So grateful that I’m slowly but surely finding strong friendships.

4. I start Italian class in a week or so. I’ll be attending twice a week and I couldn’t be more excited. I do NOT want to be an American that lives here and does not learn the language. I’ve made some Italian friends (at the coffee shop and around town) and I’m always asking them to teach me things. I think I drive them nuts, HA! But I get this crazed look when Italians start speaking in rapid fire Italian. A CRAZY huge panicked grin, teehee. Non capisco. NON CAPISCO!!!!

5. I really need to make a dentist appointment. But I had a really bad experience last time I went and I’m being a big weenie about it. SIGH. I need to do what I tell the girls and just suck it up. Yeah, they are army kids. Can you tell? šŸ˜‰

6. I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not I want to go back to teaching. And the truth is…I don’t know. There are things about it I REALLY miss (the kids, the reading, the creativity) and things I do NOT miss at all (the red tape, parent drama,etc, etc). I find what I do right now really fulfilling. I love being a part of the creative industry.

7. Lately I’ve been letting the littles go everywhere in costume. Recent favorites? A cat halloween costume (see above), a crown, a pumpkin headband, princess dresses with cowgirl boots, wings. Some people look at me like I’m nuts. But here’s the deal. They won’t ever be three again. Three is magical and whimsical and I love that. So I let them wear costumes. Let them be little.

8. I really don’t like to cook. I have gotten better at it (thanks to Gina at Skinnytaste, among others) but I still don’t enjoy it. I keep thinking that one day I will love it. But no. Hmm. I feel the same way about exercising. Sigh. Non va bene.

9. I keep meaning to blog about our big trip but every time I look at the photos and think about what I want to say…I get overwhelmed. Hence the reason I’m blogging about something else today.

10. I’m finally starting to realize that it’s not personal.I have an issue with taking silly things to heart. I have really been working on not taking things personally and I’m SO much happier now. Not going to say that certain things don’t sting…but they sting. They don’t paralyze.

I hope some of you will join in…or say hi if you are reading today!

xoxo

S

Comments

  2. Hi! Home from work today because the temperature decided to plummet to -10! Schools are closed, so here I am! I’m going to try and scrap some today or at least organize……. I absolutely loved your post today. I would love to see you go back into teaching. The teaching world needs you! I know a lot of it sucks (great teacher word, I know) but the kids need a kind heart like yours! It’s a tough world out there and too few educators to show them sincerity and kindness…….

  3. Ok – so I already have my posts scheduled for the rest of January (I only blog 2 days a week, 3 at the most.) My post for Thursday is on much needed date night ideas. So won’t be doing BYH this month. But totally love and related to several items on your post today and just wanted to comment on a few things.
    Same here with the dentist! For some reason I have been putting it off and putting it off. Need to suck it up and schedule the appointment.
    Teaching – I taught preschool and kindergarten but became a full time SAHM when my husband started traveling four nights a week for work when my daughter was born six years ago. It was just adding a lot of unneeded stress to our lives to have me work outside the home.
    But now that both kids are in school full time, people are always asking when I am going to start teaching again. And I just don’t know. I don’t want to work full time while my husband is traveling so much. The things you miss about it are the same for me. And the things you mentioned you don’t miss, totally get it!
    My solution is that I am subbing part time at my kids school and that is slowly getting me there. And I have learned that there is nothing wrong for me personally with not wanting to work full time or even part time right now. Even though for some reason society often makes us feel like a failure if we don’t hold down a full time job and try to raise a family.
    And letting kids be kids. Well, I wish society would let this happen more as well. Too much trying to make kids grow up too fast! So frustrating.
    Cooking – don’t like it here either, but it’s a necessary evil. šŸ™‚
    Trying to find more new recipes that my picky eaters will eat is challenging!
    And recently a friend told me I worry too much about what others think. And she was right. Need to stop worrying about the opinions of others so much when it just doesn’t matter what they think!
    Have a beautiful day!!

  5. I think it’s great that you are letting your little girls go out in costumes!! My girls loved doing that little and wore the craziest things sometimes. They are teens now and very creative. I like to think letting them be free spirits little helped with that. šŸ™‚
    Cooking – necessary evil for sure! Ugh!

  6. Hey Stephanie,
    As always, I love reading your blog.
    I was just thinking about your comment about thinking about going back to teaching. I remember hearing once that teaching is one of the most versatile occupations. We tend to think that teaching means 8-4 on weekdays at the local school. And, yes, it often does. But not always. I remember being told about a teacher who taught at the National Ballet School. She was doing the same job, but in a very different format. Are there options or formats out there that would allow you to do work that you love without some or all the negatives attached?
    Could you teach in the scrapbooking world? (That might not be the perfect solution because it doesn’t incorporate your love for the kids and the reading.)
    One of my college professors told me that I had a gift for teaching and that he could definitely see me having a teaching role in the future. My job? I’m a farmer! But I’m learning that there is a lot of teaching that happens when I talk with people about farming and food. I also lead a small group and keep dreaming about doing some sort of artist’s collective with church. So I may not be a formal educator, but I’m engaged in a form teaching and happy to do it.
    I do agree with Debbie’s comment that you would be a fabulous teacher!
    You are an amazing woman, Stephanie, and I continue to be thankful for your honesty and vulnerability. May God give you peace as your journey through the undertainty.
    Whatever you do, we look forward to hearing your adventures!

  7. Hi. I’m stepping out of the virtual shadow to say hi. I’m a semi-sometimes commenter. My Lucy will be 3 in less than a month. We have pajama only days (well, for her more than me) and she will pick out her outfits or breakfast 3 times in one day… I agree it’s a magical silly fun age… and it can be frustrating when you want to do everything by yourself but you still want to be a baby… so we wear jams or eat pancakes! I love the pictures that you share, especially the random pictures… seriously hilarious… I think my friends get sick of me sharing pictures you post of your kids…. I should probably share pictures of my kids instead. Ha!

  11. Yay it’s BLH time!!!!! I so look forward to these. Thanks for always being open and honest. I’m glad to read that you’re making friends and still enjoying your time in Italy – it sounds like you’re really making it count.

  12. Just saying Hi! and I love that you let your littles go out in costume. They will keep that in their hearts forever šŸ™‚

  13. Saying hi! I should let my little go out in costume. She would love to….but I do let her dress herself/pick out her own clothes these days. It’s just easier, and sometimes I think it might count as a costume….ha!

  14. Love this, Stephanie! #7 is so awesome. I once took my son, who is now 8, to Chick-fil-A in a Nascar Halloween costume. Just for the reason you said. He would never do that now and I kind of miss the days when he would.
    I am a teacher who no longer has my own classroom. Instead, I work with other teachers and their classes and do professional development. While I do LOVE my job, I also miss having my own class to bond with and love on. I also don’t miss the lack of flexibility and the grading and the paperwork and parent drama. Best wishes to you on making that huge decision!

  16. I bet you are a great teacher! Are you thinking of going back into it when your youngest two start school? Just by reading your blog I can tell that you would make such a wonderful impact on your students! My husband is in Bologna (spelling?), Italy right now for work. He said the weather isn’t that great for this week, but better than -5 in Pgh.! I don’t like to cook either! Not the thinking of what to fix for dinner each night, grocery shopping, then cooking and all the clean up! I always said if I was rich, forget about a cleaning person, I want a cook!

  19. I think we are kindred spirits!! Love substituting so much! I really do enjoy it. I think it’s the perfect thing to do when you are taking a break.
    And just so you know you can do this ANYTIME before the next BYH at the end of February!

  22. Dear Steph, I am happy to hear how you are working out because I know from experience it just helps even if we don’t like it ( I have yet to work out in 2014). I need to make time for myself to do this!
    I love cooking so much and I thank you for trying new recipes and sharing them, please keep doing that!~ I love the oven baked fajita recipe and the caprese lasagana and have made both a lot! try Pioneer Womans’ Cajun Chicken Pasta if you haven’t yet, so yummy, my girls gobble it right up! I can tell you a few other tried and true. I try new recipes weekly!
    I love your soft sensitive heart, keep being who you are!
    love,
    tara

  23. Oh Hannah- Thank you so much for your kindness. You made my day! And I’ve thought about getting my Masters in Library Science and being a librarian…but that’s not exactly in high demand these days!

  31. Seriously love that the girls play dress up all day. Honestly it lifts my heart when you post pictures of them out and about being 3. LOVE IT.
    I have to say i am a recovered dental phobe…I had a few very bad experiences and now have an excellent dentist who is gentle and kind and amazing. Don’t be afraid to ask for laughing gas (totally chills me out) and raise your hand if you feel anything.
    Appreciate your blog…it makes my day!

  39. I take things to heart a bit too much as well. I shall follow your excellent example and try not to quite so much. My littlest boy absolutely LOVES to dress up. And for the same reasons as you, I am happy to let him. You’re right, he’ll only be five once. So we happily go out and about dressed as Superman for example, with a red cape flying behind us and the wind in our tights. Oh happy days.

  41. Hi Stephanie,
    I am a follower and comment sometimes. I enjoy reading your blog so much. Please keep doing what you are doing! The one thing that stuck out to me today is your comment about going back to teaching. Especially as I sit home with my 3 boys on yet another snow day this year. I am a teacher and right now the state of education is such a mess. I love the things you mention and despise the politics of it all. I am fortunate enough to be in a district that I love and have 12 years in, but education has changed so much just in the last ten years! And it frustrates me!! It’s not about the children. It’s about money and test scores and I could go on… Any way… enjoy your creative work! I’m trying to do more of that.

  42. Thank you for always being open and honest, I love it!
    SO glad that you’re making friends!
    I agree, the littles will only want to wear costumes for such a short time in their lives and it doesn’t hurt a thing to let them!!
    On going back to teaching….I haven’t gone back because The state I now live in is crazy strict about licensure, so I’ve taken a job as an ed assistant. I have learned that the red tape,the constant testing and the parents make the teachers job so much less about why I started teaching in the first place, TEACH children!! I love what I now do because I’m only there during “student contact” time. Sorry, let me step off my soap box!
    I don’t understand negative commenters, but so glad they don’t stop you from sharing your life with us!!
    Hugs!

  43. Hi Stephanie, just finished The Book Thief yesterday. So great even though the times were terrible. I totally loved the narrator – such a cool perspective for the story.
    Great that you let the girls dress in costume. My 12 yr old son loves to dress in pajamas — apparently his guitar teacher thinks this is fine šŸ™‚ Whatever, it’s just clothes. He’ll have to dress in uniform for high school soon enough.
    Have a great day and keep sharing your story!

  44. Oh, that last one. I do that. It’s funny, when someone makes a snarky comment to me on facebook about something I posted (that maybe was just supposed to be funny/sarcastic) and then I think “why are you friends with me if you don’t ‘get’ me and my humor??” I bet they’d never think that their stupid little comment has me thinking about it for days. I guess I need to work on that, too!
    On a lighter note, I TOTALLY agree with letting kids go out in costumes. I remember when my oldest daughter was about 3 and I took her out in a ballerina costume. My hubby said ‘are you gonna let her go out in that?” My response – yep!! She wants to wear it so who cares??! haha

  45. Hi Stephanie,
    I love your blog. Your comments on your exercise class were great, you are not the only one. At least you are putting yourself out there. I also love the costumes. It is great. My almost 3 year old granddaughter wears mostly princess dresses when she visits me and also has a Minnie Mouse dress. I love it and so does she. How can you not love that cat costume? She will only be 3 once. Thank you for sharing your life and your heart. Love the pictures of your family.
    Take care

  46. Well, they cancelled all the schools IN Beaumont (and around it) due to the freezing rain and sleet. They are shutting overpasses, and people are just freaking out. Ha! šŸ˜‰
    Well, if you ever want to do a country penpal exchange between my students and your kids let me know! And, if you ever want to come up with cute ideas for my kinder lessons I will never stop you! Haha

  47. Just saying hi – my mind is whirling about what I could put in a BYH post. šŸ™‚ Love seeing little kids in their dress ups around town – brings a smile to my face. Let them be little. šŸ™‚

  48. Hi Stephanie. You stuck a chord with your dilemma about going back to teaching . I have just finished teaching at a school after being there for 18 years…..a long, bad story as to why I left……now what do I do?? ! I have been a teacher for 33 years….that is who I am but I am really wanting a change. Big decisions! So I can appreciate where you are coming from. Continue doing what you are doing, while you can!
    Looking forward to reading about your big trip! šŸ™‚ x

  49. I don’t have kids but I love seeing kids in costumes at the store. Makes me wish I could wear a pretty princess dress everyday.
    Martha

  50. i love this series. for me it is proving to be a space to “force my feelings out”. thanks again for the idea.
    i think it is so important for all of us to enjoy and live in our lives. your life in italy and the experiences it brings you and your family is to be celebrated everyday. i wish i could tell you not to worry about returning to teaching but all of us fret over decisions. could you tutor or teach english while you’re there. i think i would wish for you to fill your lives with this experience – learn and dance in everything around you. just soak it all up – teach us all about italy as you learn.

  51. Thanks for sharing today. I just recently read “The Book Thief” You might be surprised with the ending. I know I was. Can’t wait to hear what you think.

  52. <3 I think it's amazing how you meet new friends every new place you go. Good for you for getting out to meet them. People are drawn to you and I'm sure it makes it a wee bit easier being so far away from the rest of your friends and family.

  53. Let the girls where their costumes!! Where ever and when ever. As the mother of grown children I plead with you to let them be children for as long as possible!! Thank you for sharing your grand Italian adventure!! Love your blog updates!!

  54. I so needed a blog my heart prompt this week, Stephanie. Thanks so much for the opportunity to lift a weight from my mind. I can totally relate to the teaching dilemma. I have spent 7 years teaching, another 7 years in insurance and now four years as a SAHM. Teaching makes sense looking ahead as I would have similar holidays to my daughter but I am not sure if my heart is in it. Oh for a crystal ball!

  55. Hello Stephanie, Love reading these posts!! How fun to let the girls wear their costumes, YES, let them be little. It’s so fun seeing your photos thru my IG everyday, how is that they keep getting cuter!! So glad you have made some good friends, my Sunday School class is just starting our next book on that. It seems all my friends here are going back to work and I’m still at home babysitting on the side. It’s making me rethink what I want. For now though my heart is saying to stay home a bit longer. Enjoy those little ones while you can. I don’t like cooking either, wish I did but it’s just not going to happen.
    Thanks so much for sharing with us and letting us share with you!
    The only thing on my heart right now is for it to pllllllease warm up here in Ohio so the kids can finally go back to school. They’ve had more days home then at school this month. Hoping today will be the last “COLD” day they get.
    Things keep breaking down here too, all our extra money is going to repairs. Praying nothing else gets broken for a LONG TIME!!
    Have a wonderful day and thanks again!

  56. my husband teaches & coaches now. these kids are CRAZY. i’m flabbergasted half the time when he tells me stories of what happened that day.
    i enjoy cooking, but cleaning up is NOT FUN. i think i would enjoy it a whole lot more if i didn’t have to clean it all up!! i do have some fun EASY fab recipes.
    hope you are enjoying italy. florence also stole my heart – i studdied abroad there for 6 months. you should try to go to greece. it was phenomenal. the people were so kind, and the food was amazing. šŸ˜‰
    next time you talk to your mama tell her hi from the middle bruss girl šŸ˜‰

  57. Great list. I feel the same about cooking and excercise. šŸ™‚
    There’s parent drama involved with teaching?!?! haha
    You are a great Army wife/mom… putting yourself out there and making friends because you *need* that in your life. You know… adapt or get slapped. šŸ˜‰
    Happy Wednesday Buona Notte!

  59. I love how you say all the things that we often think. I am doing 3 exercise classes a week (Circuit training, Martial Arts/Boot camp and another Boot Camp) and tend to get frustrated that I am not in the shape I was prior to getting married and having children. However, I am proud that I am doing something about that and have already lost 12lbs in the past few months! I know I look awkward at times and don’t keep up with everyone, but I refuse to give up šŸ˜‰
    Keep your posts coming…they bring a smile to my face every time.
    Sending you lots of warm hugs from a freezing Montreal šŸ™‚

  61. #8…. you took the words right outta my mouth. I want to love cooking (I don’t, I love baking) and I want to love exercise (but I don’t)… it would make life easier wouldn’t it?! šŸ™‚ Good luck with your Body Pump and Italian classes!!! Oh and that photo? AWESOME!!! šŸ™‚

  62. “Lately I’ve been letting the littles go everywhere in costume. Recent favorites? A cat halloween costume (see above), a crown, a pumpkin headband, princess dresses with cowgirl boots, wings. Some people look at me like I’m nuts. But here’s the deal. They won’t ever be three again. Three is magical and whimsical and I love that. So I let them wear costumes. Let them be little.”
    I totally agree – I am going to be 50 in June and I so want to wear a tiara and angel wings again! Let them enjoy it – let them grow their imagination – those crazy looks – who knows – it might be something that makes that person have a second thought and lighten up a little! I love when children express themselves – mismatched socks to angel wings! Now they can do it and get away with it – at 50 you absolutely have people that question your sanity!

  63. I love it when you post photos of the girls with their mad faces on. They are too cute!! As always, thank you for sharing

  65. Your photos of the littles always make me laugh. That has got to be Lucy. She has the Sadie expressions down pat. LOL
    You are not alone in the dentist dept. I don’t like it either.
    Maybe once the little girls are in school, you will feel differently about teaching. A really good teacher, that is really good with the kids is not always easy to find. I started putting my kids in school back in 1993. My oldest is 25. This is the 3rd school district we have been in. While there are great teachers here, society sure has changed, and I don’t think a lot of it is for the better. I have old fashioned values and beliefs and lets just say it doesn’t fit with this district. But, I love walking through Ben’s elementary school and seeing some of the kids hug their teachers. Those teachers that are really good with the kids get lots and lots of hugs. I just adore Ben’s kindy teacher from last year. She is the best. She is my age (mid 40’s) and I love we have the same values. She is so good with the kids… strict, but so loving. So creative too. I love that she will push the envelope a little, as much as she can without getting into trouble and teach her way, not completely the way the state tells her to. I don’t know how teachers do it, deal with all of the bureaucratic BS. It would frustrate the crap out of me. Parents and kids today are so different too. We have had great conversations on that one, she and I. That kindy teacher left such an impact on Ben. This year in art, they made pinch pots with clay, glazed them and fired them. He gave it to his kindy teacher. Not his Mama, his kindy teacher. LOL (I did borrow it back and get a photo of it and gave it back to her). And you know, that feeling is mutual. She really likes him too.
    Yes, I am with you… let them be little. Who cares if they run around in costumes all day! I don’t get why society needs to force these kids to grow up so fast. I really see it. The things my teenager (almost 16 yr old) is doing now isn’t the same as when her sister was this age 10 years prior. What is the point in rushing and pushing them to grow up so fast?? Let them enjoy their childhood and live it to the most, as much as they can.
    And the cooking thing.. I am right there with you. I don’t love it. And I work for a tax office Jan-April, making meals for them. This little tiny place in St. Paul. It looks like an episode of something off of the foodnetwork in my kitchen. Then I have to turn around and make something for my family. Upside to that, I love she lets me do it at home vs. the kitchen there. That would not be fun. But, man are those people picky! Those 12+ adults are pickier than kids! One asked me once what I would do if they were eating at my house. I told her the rule at my house for my kids is they eat what is fixed or go hungry. She said I was mean. LOL

  67. I loved reading these, Stephanie. I have to say that I am so happy for you in regards to #3. It is something that I am having a hard time with in regards to our move to Fargo…so it is nice to know that making new & GOOD friends is possible.
    And I hear you on the dentist…I SO need to make an appt. But, anxiety & fear keeps making me put it off. Ugh- plus I have to find another new dentist, which freaks me out to. Ugh.
    Love seeing all the cute photos of your girls…and your time in Italy. I’m a little jealous…can we come visit? Lol!! šŸ™‚

  68. I don’t comment on your blog often but I’ve been a long time reader. I admire you for always being so honest and open. And…I spent a year in Florence so I’ve been absolutely loving your posts and snapshots of your life. Thank you. šŸ™‚

  72. JUST finished The Book Thief. What a haunting yet beautiful read. So much to be gained. You should post about it when you are done. Would love to hear your thoughts.
    ~jamie

  73. Hello! I could’ve wrote the cooking exercising one! I try to love it…but i just don’t:( And the trying not to let it sting – so me!:) You rock!!!

  74. Thanks for sharing your heart Steph! I’ve been meaning to do this for awhile and I finally just got around to it šŸ™‚ I’m going to try to make it a regular thing.

  76. Thanks for this opportunity to “blog your heart.”
    It’s great that you’re learning Italian. I think it will make your experience there so much richer. You are so lucky to be able to live abroad.
    Take care! <3

  77. Thanks, Stephanie, for your lovely comment on my Blog Your Heart post (I linked it above, but here it is for anyone else: http://krysworld.blogspot.com/2014/02/blog-your-heart.html).
    YES, YES, a THOUSAND times YES! I think we’d get a long just fine! The important things are what we have in common, a basic faith system, a deep and true love for our families, a good work ethic. After that, the other things sort of just fall into place or are simply unimportant. Thanks for the comment!

  78. I don’t know if you’d still be interested but you have alway inspired me with these posts.. and in general, really. I think I’m most drawn to your blog because you seem to share what you feel, the whole story. You value the finer, prettier, happier things in life.. but seem to know there is also a place for the heavy more difficult day to day things. I appreciate that you share those too because that’s just real life. Anyway. I am a follower of yours. I’m bad about lurking, or whatever you call it ;), but I’m trying to get better. Today I blogged my heart. For the first time in a long time. I thought maybe it would be worth sharing with a perfect stranger. http://elizgardner.blogspot.com