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Stephanie Howell

reading, organizing, shopping, momming too close to the sun. Home is wherever the Army sends us.

blog your heart {a challenge}

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so, looking back, it appears i unintentionally skipped a  month. oops! sorry y'all…i guess life got in the way. 🙂

a reminder- blog your heart is whatever you want it to be (silly,humorous,dark,sarcastic,angry,happy)…as long as it's authentic. no trying to look perfect, no saying what you think others want to hear.

no judging.

so, in no particular order, here's my heart this month.

1. i'm worried a little bit about our time in rhode island. i've never spent a year with jimmy home every day. i'm worried i'll learn to depend on him too much. i'm worried i'll resent him and the army when we have to go back to the real world. i'm worried i won't be as good of a parent with him to depend on.

 

2. i need to work on my scrapbooking. i read kelly purkey's blog post this morning and part of it spoke to me. i'm tired of feeling like scrapbooking is my job. guess what? it's NOT. it neither qualifies as a full time or part time job.

it's a hobby. i have loved it for seven years and lately it's lost its luster. time to play again. time to get passionate again. time to stop caring if i'm doing what i'm supposed to be doing. time to get back to me. i am going to make things i'm proud of again. learn some techniques. put my heart back into my pages. i want to make things i'll treasure, not things i'm getting done just to get them done.

conversly, i do the design teams to share what i LOVE and to inspire. it might not be a full time or part time job but it IS my job to inspire. it's not happening lately. i am going to work on it. try harder. work harder. this year i will get back to loving (and having FUN) creating.

 

3.i am done having babies. this both terrifies and exhilarates me. last night we sat next to a family with four children (probably 9 to 16 or so). they were having a family dinner. with conversation. and laughter. no crayons or potty breaks. i am ready to grow together. i am ready for new stages. but i will miss babies so much…in such an intense way. i can't even type it out here or do that feeling justice so i won't try.

 

4.i need to get back to the gym. and back to taking care of myself. there. i said it.

 

5.i am so in love with my husband. more so every day. some days we irritate each other. some days we barely see each other except in passing and some days that's okay b/c i need to be independent. but i love him so much it makes my heart hurt. he is every bit the man i dreamed i'd marry one day (but never dared to think such a guy was real). he's brave and handsome. flawed but he is perfect to me.

 

6.i am ready for the girls to go back to school this week. i love them so much and love having them home, but i think we are all sick of one another. HA! sadie and harper are fighting so much. we need a break. when we have a break a few hours a day, it makes our time together so much sweeter.

 

7.i am content. but at the same time there is much i want to learn, see, and do this year. i want to take better care of myself. make more of an effort with the way i look. make more of an effort with my heart, with my spiritual growth. but with every passing year, i feel more of a peace in my heart. more of a stilness. more of a "this is me" and "this is where i'm supposed to be".

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there's more i could say…always more. 🙂 but i think i'll stop there.

if you blog your heart, please link me. feel free to use my icon and link back. 🙂 i have read and commented on each and every post every month i do this. and i always will.

love to you all, and happy 2012~ xoxo

Comments

  1. I can’t wait to start this in the new year. This was a rough year for me so I didnt want to get that raw with my personal life… crap most close people around me don’t even know what I was going through. I am going to try to be a bit more brave and document this every month in 2012

  4. Aaaaaaah, I think I know the feeling you have about being the last of babies. Awhile after I had my daughter, the feeling set within myself. We are in a different stage [she is 7; her brother 9] in their lives where they are a little bit more independent and personalities are shining — and I love it!
    Hugs to you, Stephanie, and lots of happy wishes to you and your family in 2012.

  6. I always love when I read your blog and you remind me to blog my heart. Thanks Stephanie!
    Happy New Year to you and your family!

  7. Love reading your posts–always so honest and real. Looking forward to your new creative endeavors. Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family.

  8. love your blog your heart posts =) I just read kp’s blog right before this post & she hit home with me too. It lite a fire for me =)
    I just wanted to tell you that I think you are inspiring & I love how real & timeless you & your art work are.
    xo
    p.s. i’m a 2nd child of a family of 4 kids & I can tell you… It’s crazy & wonderful. =)
    -happy new years friend!

  9. You know, Stephanie, I think of number one whenever my husband comes back from a job (the most recent was Canada for four months). And he is back now with us full time except for the office for the next five months or so. But I find that I am more and more wanting to do things myself and not “depend” on him because I know that right now we are just in a happy together place. But eventually he is going to be called away again and that next job is three years! So I know you will be just fine! You are seriously so inspirational to me whenever I am feeling a little down about the fact that my husband is gone so much. And I just think to myself that I can do this! And I have 🙂
    I haven’t blogged over the holiday at all. And have some posts to catch up on when I get back. But I think I added Blog your Heart to my list. It just may be a week or so 🙂 I’ll let you know when I do.
    And Nicole – hoping 2012 is a better year for you!

  10. This is so lovely. And as for new and different stages in marriage and life, it all works out. I am pretty sure you know this, though. God bless!

  11. Looking forward to 2012.. See what the year will bring for us. I just ordered the PL this morning! eek! first one..
    enjoy a lot checking your blog and your works too.
    hugs..
    Happy 2012!!

  12. I have to say in response to your number 3…I have 3 girls 18, 16(just turned yikes!) and 10 years old. And the conversations are just down right hilarious! They are not shy to talk about anything and everything to both my husband and I, I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way.
    I do miss the baby stuff but this is just perfect also and SO MUCH FUN!!
    :0)Happy New Year to you and your family!!

  13. I am so happy for you to have a year together as a family, but I also understand the fear of that year and what comes with it. Can’t wait to see what the year holds for you and creativity; I’ve always loved your scrap booking style and find your work hugely inspiring!
    I blogged my heart for the first time this month. It was scary but awesome. So thank you for the nudge!

  15. Ironic that I should come here and find this. Last night I had a stressful encounter with a sibling and this morning I decided that I should blog about it and put it to rest.. so I “blogged my heart” earlier.
    I love that though you are one of the most inspirational scrapbookers/bloggers that I follow you are always trying to find more inspiration to share and to just be your authentic self.

  16. Stephanie,
    YOu always inspire with your scrapbooking, whether or not you feel you do! I always love your heartfelt pages! I was right where you were about 2 years ago, I quit all my Design Teams and I have been finding my JOY in scrapbooking again and LOVING IT! I never wanted to lose my passion for it & it’s just been so much fun doing it again! I really wouldn’t mind being on a DT again now that I have been doing it regularly!
    I hope you have a GREAT 2012` you and jimmy will figure things out as you go! I know it must be hard to go from single parent to having his help and back and forth all the time! It would be hard because the girls are used to your attention non stop and all of a sudden you have a marriage to give attention to also! You will do it though, I KNOW IT! you guys have such a great love & respect, so it will be awesome!
    http://tara_pollard_pakosta.typepad.com/just_tara/2011/12/blog-your-heart.html
    just blogged my heart, thanks darlin’!
    tara

  17. You are an inspiration in more ways than you’ll ever know, darlin’! Happy New Year to the beautiful Harper family.

  19. I just wanted to pop in and leave you a link I came across yesterday as I was looking at Project Life on Pinterest. I thought of it when I read your number 2 –
    http://huffordhouse.blogspot.com/2011/12/why-i-do-what-i-do.html I thought this was so amazing – o how I would love to receive a gift like this;) And isn’t that what we are doing by scrapbooking? Preserving all those memories for generations to come. So awesome!!! And can I just say I totally get what you are saying in number 1 – I am not as strong or good of a parent when my husb is home:( But you will do great – I know it!! Also I’m terrified for the day I have to say your number 3 outloud! I fear it’ll be sooner than I’d like it to be with my health issues…I hope I can be as accepting as you seem to be. God’s blessings to you all in the New Year and with the move. LOVE how inspiring you always are!!

  22. http://fun2scrap.blogspot.com/2011/12/blog-your-hearthappy-new-year-to-you.html
    I agree with you on a lot of things. I don’t know what happened to my crafting this year, it was nonexistent. I also agree about No More Babies. We’re not having anymore either, and it is wonderful. My youngest is now four, and I am so happy that I don’t have to change diapers and all of that other stuff. I am so looking forward to watching our boys grow into men. To start new adventures, that only older children can do. It is bittersweet, but beautiful all the same. Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family. Thanks for always sharing and giving me something to look forward to at the end of my day.

  27. Hi Stephanie! I want to respond to your #1…Yes,it is a scary thing to have your husband home for a year without going anywhere…but I will have to say it is a great year and you will become dependent on him as you should, but when it is time for him to leave you will be ready and able to do it all again. I think wives of military men have a strong independence but we also have those moments where we rely on our husbands. I may not be making any sense, but I know that I cherish the time my husband is home even thought I will say from time to time ” Aren’t you going somewhere soon, cause I could use it?” and I say that in fun but sometimes I really think it:):) So enjoy it, rely on him, soak it all in…that’s what I do and I think that makes me a stonger wife when he is gone. Happy New Year to you and your family and thank you for everything you and your husband do!!

  28. I totally know what you mean about scrapbooking becoming a job sometimes. I finally had to resign from my DT because of just that. I love it so much and I wanted it to remain a hobby, not a job and now I have the love of it back and you will too.

  30. I’m blogging my heart in my comments. 😉 I LOVE the part in here about the family w/the older kids. We have two under three right now, and I want like 2-3 more!! Justin thinks I’m nuts…and I’m trying to explain to him that it won’t *always* be this crazy…that someday they will all grow up, but he can’t seem to see past all the insanity now. We shall see what the future brings… 😉
    Happy New Year Stephanie!

  33. Aww, what a sweet picture! Look how happy your girls look, and especially at how your baby (not sure if it’s Lucy or Cate) is looking at you! You can see how much she loves her mama 🙂

  35. I love how honest you are, that’s inspiring in itself. I don’t think I fully understand what this post is, just anything you have in your heart this month? I will ponder it and get back to you 🙂 xx

  36. Bonne année 2012 à toi, ton mari et tes adorables petites filles.
    J’adore cette photo…
    Bises

  37. I understand what you mean about scrapbooking feeling like a job. I was there a couple of years ago. I no longer was loving my hobby – I had lost my passion. I resigned from the DT, stopped teaching classes & doing store displays & started to scrap just for me again. I don’t blog(although I may start),submit designs or post in galleries. I have been creating from my heart & loving scrapbooking again.

  42. Thank you, Stephanie, for being you – honest, sweet, quirky, friendly.
    Reading your blog, “spying” on your girls, and seeing what you create make this blog one of my favorite places.

  49. Hey Stephanie,
    It’s been great to get to know more about you, your family and seeing your work here. You’ve inspired me to join in and let it all out. I hope you and your crew have a perfect 2012 and enjoy every moment. You deserve it and can do it!
    It’s been fun chatting on twitter and just being crafty mom friends. You’re awesome sweets.
    http://www.latricemurphy.blogspot.com

  55. I absolutely love your challenge to blog your heart. Hopefully I can play along very soon. But I just wanted to say congrats on the move to Rhode Island!!! My husband is in the Navy and we moved out to Newport this past September from California. There is an amazing network of military wives here and I think you’ll really enjoy it! I even found a group that does monthly scrapping crops! It goes without saying that if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask but I’m sure you already have an arsenal of people with lots of excellent advice. But just in case, here is another. 🙂

  59. I think I understand your concerns about having your husband at home and how that will change things. My husband traveled quite a bit for good part of our marriage. My two cents is that you continue to cherish every day with him and be quick to forgive and receive forgiveness….I too love my husband so very much and we grew through those seasons when he was home for longer periods of time.