If you follow my blog page on Facebook you most likely already saw this video. I came across it in my feed the other day and I felt the words she was saying in my heart. To my core.
Yes, I’ve been busy. But you know that I don’t glorify busy. Busy isn’t an excuse or a badge. But to be honest, we are in the weeds right now. The weeds are beautiful and a gift, but they are high. They are over my head.
But that’s not the only reason I stopped blogging, or even the real reason. Y’all…I’m not good at dealing with criticism. Or ugly words. Now I’m not talking constructive criticism. I’m talking flat out unkind words. I’m not good with letting those roll off my back. You see, God made me with an extra big heart and extra thin skin. This combination HURTS.
When I put my heart out there I do so with a certain amount of confidence that it will be handled as fragile and treated with respect.
That doesn’t always happen.
And that’s the nature of the Internet.
If you put your heart out there, it becomes public property.
And that can be really, really good too. I have connected with so many women when I felt alone. Blogging got me through the really scary and lonely times in my life. And I gained a family along the way.
I also somehow I let the nasty outweigh the good.
And there is so so so so so so so so so much more good. There always has been.
So I want to come back. Because I miss you guys, and I miss sharing and learning and connecting.
I want to be that person.
So here I am, if anyone is still out there reading. I don’t know how often I’ll be writing, and I don’t know what I’ll write about, but I’m here.
xoxo
Still here❤️️
Hi, love. xo
Write when your heart wants to girl. BE THAT GIRL! I love reading your blog and your beautiful perspective on things. I’m sure I won’t be the only one glad you will be blogging again! Xoxoxo
I was literally just talking to someone about this over the weekend. Used things that happened here in the past as examples. My friend also has a well-followed blog and said that comments can sometimes be downright mean. I don’t get it. First, I was taught if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. Second, if you don’t like what the blogger represents, don’t visit it. It’s that simple. Life is too short for people to waste their energy. Glad to see you here. And always remember that those of us that love what you represent will always have your back!
I love reading your blog posts and seeing what you guys are all up to. And love you.
Miss you !
I have read your blog since the new days after Sadie was born; days in Texas with leaky roofs and scouting for fields with bluebonnets to take photos of the girls, deployments, frustrations, sharing your wonderful scrapbooking talents and the anxiety and tears of joy when you learned that there were TWO babies and then an impending move to Italy.
I follow you because you are that big hearted woman, thin skin and all; genuine. I miss the adventures of Howell family. You always make me smile. In todays world that is something to be valued and encouraged. I’ll always be here, it’s a good place to be!
Oh, I have always lOved your posts. I found your blog when you were more actively scrapbooking and only had your two oldest. I stayed with you because we have some common interests – reading and antiquing. I dont judge you because i know how my life can get and i only have to worry about mE!! If we ever met, i have no doubt we would be friends!!
We have totally missed you Steph! The insight into your life takes us away from our own for just a few minutes and you do cool things, even though you don’t think so! You got me hooked on BOTM club, I would love to hear more about that and what you are reading, how you liked it…I would love an online Book Club with you!
P.S. I’ve been around since Harper was 4(ish) I believe…Still here!
Hey, sweet girl, I’ll always be reading what you write. Your Instagram has really been your blog for the past few years — so fun seeing Europe and your beautiful growing girls. We only have one monkey girl and feel like we’re on a treadmill of activity that never stops — if you manage to feed, clothe, and not lose five children all day (ha, ha) I take my chapeau off to you. *grin* (P.S. I saw that video recently and it really touched me, too. )
Welcome back! We have missed you and your family.
We love you. Period. We are behind you. Period. Because women should support each other or shut up. I have been following you for YEARS and I have never been disappointed, Continue to be yourself and I ask the people who don’t like it to go elsewhere. There is so much choice on the Internet. I choose YOU and I want to hear YOUR voice. YOU matter sweet sensitive soul. I guess it takes one to know one. Continue to shine and don’t let anybody extinguish your light.
I love your blog, your vulnerability, your adventures,your creativity and what I know of your family. I”m glad you’re that person and that you share with us.
Thank you so much for sharing this Stephanie, I so needed to hear this, with my own struggles. You always have such perfect timing!
You are fabulous!
Xoxo,
Clippergirl
Aka: elizabeth
Still here
Yay!! Yippee!!
I am sorry people can be so jerky, but I am happy to hear from you again. To borrow a phrase I am not crazy about (but it’s appropriate) You Do You. We all like you that way.
YAY, SO glad to see your blog back! Hold your head up high and just be you.
mean people really do suck. So glad to still see you on FB and Instagram. That’s basically blogging, right?!?!? You be you, and know that 99.9% of us support you 100%!
Welcome back!!
Your babies are so beautiful, growing up way too fast!!
Merry Christmas to y’all!! ❤️
So happy you’re back Stephanie. Even though you haven’t blogged much recently you’ll always be my favorite ❤️
Oh for pete’s sake. Are you telling me that we’ve been deprived of your awesomeness because of some nitwit who doesn’t have a life and gets a thrill from making nasty comments while hiding behind a screen?! Noooo! Those types of special idiots are everywhere … commenting on blogs, instagram, twitter, FB, websites. Everywhere. I know it’s hard to ignore, but please don’t let it get to you. You have legions of fans who adore you and your family. We are still here and ready to hear from you whenever you can squeeze it in. xoxo
I’m just going to say “ditto” to this post. It says everything I would say!!
Agreed! I check back regularly to see if you’ve been posting and I have been following you for as long as I could remember (at least since 2009 when my husband enlisted).
I had no idea that you were getting negative comments, so sorry to hear that and I hope we get to see a lot more of you going forward! We’ve missed you too!
Stephanie, my love, thank you for sharing this video! I visited your blog today to include the link in your post live on the mambi blog this morning, and I hope a multitude of women click over to watch this vid and read your post today as well.
You’ve inspired me and made me SO HAPPY this mornign, you have NO IDEA. Thank you! Love you, and I’m over the moon that you’re on the Design Team this year! XOXO!
I’m still reading 🙂
Write about whatever you want to! I love reading anything you like to blog about.
I saw that video too and was so impressed with her dignity and strength. She spoke words that should ring true in the heart of every woman. You are an amazing woman Stephanie. There are and always will be nay sayers to every good thing, I never see anything on the internet that is truly good but that there is someone tearing it apart. We do need to continue to be women of faith and strength, each day trying to make the world more loving and good. You are doing that with each face you wipe, each floor you scrub, each bedtime story read, and each I’m sorry that you give. I believe in you. We all need to believe in each other. We never run out of love to give if we choose. Hugs, Ketena
I’m here Steph! My weeds are high and beautiful too and I don’t have time to read daily blogs, but I do like to catch up with old friends now and again. 🙂
loooooooooooooove this, love you for you. Welcome back, how ever often you post, I’ll take it.
Glad to see you back. Still reading x
I always loved reading your blog. You write from the heart and share real life. Miss Sadie slays me. So often I would be snort laughing with her latest escapades. There will always be those haters in life and moreso on the web unfortunately.; but I hope it doesn’t stop you from sharing. Heck Cora’s cuteness alone gives you enough to write about lol and who could hate on that.
When they go low, you keep going higher! It takes a special kind of person to walk in your shoes with all that your busy life involves, so focus on those of us who support you and show you the respect you deserve! Haters will always hate unfortunately, but they don’t deserve a minute of your time to respond to them. Keep your head up, keep smiling, and know there are many of us out here who love and support you. BTW, my hair is completely grey and I’ve earned every single grey hair and wrinkle on my face! Age is inevitable, but so is the lonely life for someone who feels the need to criticize and judge others with such a hateful heart and sharp tongue.
Love your honesty and point of view, and I’m still reading.
Stephanie, I know I needed to hear these words. You continue to prove to me how kindred we are, because I too have struggled with these things. I’m glad I don’t have to struggle quietly. AND I’m prematurely grey–even more so than the lovely woman in this video! Love you and I am honored to share the mambi design team experience with you.
I’m still here too! Love your blog and writing, always true to the heart and genuine. Keep on blogging when you feel like you want to, with no pressure. I’m sure many people will be waiting:)
I was actually a little bit worried that something had happened to you or your family. I don’t comment much if at all usually but I am really ticked off that some Internet troll hurt your beautiful loving giving soul. I have so enjoyed following your blog and of course along with it, your beautiful family. Watching your girls grow, your various moves and how you coped, was such a pleasure. Reading your blog happened usually with a nice cup of coffee in my hand! Welcome back my dear. I’ll be looking forward to hearing more from you again.
Still here. Still reading. Also in the weeds most days. But…I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I am pretty sure it isn’t a train.
I’m still here! I have always enjoyed your posts and have been thankful for your willingness to share your beautiful family with us. Thankful for your husband”s service to our country and all that has put you and the girls through.
Good to see you back blogging x
Yay, I’ve missed reading your blog. The internet is such a crazy place where people feel like they can say things that they would never say to your face. So sad. I’m a fellow thin skinned person, I understand. Merry Christmas!
Still here!!
I’m still here and love reading your heart. Thanks for being so transparent.
Ive missed you so much, Stephanie. I’m here when you are. Always here for you.
Yay, you’re back!! I’ve missed you!! Your posts bring me joy and so much laughter. Screw the meanies, they suck big hairy ass donkey balls -oh yes they do!! Be YOU cause we all love YOU!
oh my goodness, Stephanie I am sooo sooo sooo sorry that you had ANY NEGATIVE responses to any of your wonderful post. I just can’t imagine anyone being cruel to you but I do know it happens…but will be very happy when you start blogging again…
Glad you are back! I think it is outrageous what people will comment on blogs, posts, etc. There are some really nasty people in this world. However, there are the gentle, kind souls we cherish! I have some Beaumont friends with a very sick little girl. They gave updates on FB. The Houston Police visited them at Texas Children’s Hospital….someone turned them in to CPS. Cruel and unjust! I’m like you, I’ve never developed that thick skin……words hurt no matter what age.
How absolutely lovely to see a post from you Stephanie. You always seem like such a lovely, kind and thoughtful person, I’m sorry you’ve had nasty comments. CJ xx
Bravo, sweet girl! Don’t ever lose that big beautiful open heart, your kindness and goodness shine through and the world needs you.
I am so sorry people are using unkind words with you, they have no reason or respect for you. It is hard to deal with it when you have a thin skin and a big heart but you know we thin skinned people have your back. I read every post you put up but I may not say much. I miss your posts and miss seeing your babies grow up. Please come back if you have time and ignore those naysayers, they are just jealous of you and have nothing better to do with their lives but make other people miserable only because they have a miserable life themselves. If someone is nasty to me I say “they have a bigger problem than me so I am not going to wear that, they can take it back”…and trot off with my big girl panties swaying from side to side (pretty picture).
love you
Bridget
You are an amazing mom !
I feel like that is how the Devil works he has come to steal our joy on earth but we can’t let him! Keep your head up keep doing the good work !! YOU Bring JOY to this world !! Xoxo
I am still here. Still checking every day. I waited through the move to Italy. I waited through the move back. I do not have facebook but I check your pictures on instragram to make sure everyone is still moving forward. Of course the hosp. pic was concerning. Hang in there. Bringing up and watching over the next generation is a huge responsibility. They are the future of our country. But I have faith in you.
Eagerly awaiting a long and picture-filled update on you and yours! Still here!!
So glad you are back!! Have checked your blog every day since Sept. 1st to see if you had a new post. Love how real you are about your life and have missed you and your family! We’re still here!!
I am here and love to read whatever you want to write! I’m not sure how I discovered your blog and I’ve never met you but I love following along with you and your family. Blessings to you all!!
Your blog is always so refreshing because it is honest and real. Keep being you. I’m sure the majority out your followers appreciate that.
One blog idea I have…I would love to hear how the transition has been between Italy and the U.S. I know you touch in it here and there but I would love a big old post about it.
Love you, Steph! Will always read! Jerks, away!
So happy to read this! I love to see your lovely photos, your so nice girls and your so nice smile! I loved when you scrapbooked. Criticism is the power of ones who are jealous. That’s a fact. We love you!
Love you. Love your blog. Love your beautiful family.
I hope you keep sharing and blogging,
Jerks can take a hike, it’s so easy to be nasty behind a keyboard.
Blog on my friend! xo
Stephanie-Welcome back. I have been following your blog since you were in Columbus. At the time, I was going through chemo and not handling the “weeds” very well. Then I saw a picture of Sadie….upset that she could not get on the school bus with Harper!
I laughed so hard I cried. From that day forward, your blog is the first one I check. I have enjoyed following the growth, and addition, of your girls and lives. Thank you for helping me through a very difficult time and allowing us glimpses into the Howell world. In the words of Gordon Ramsey, tell your naysayers to “piss off”.
Hi, Stephanie. It is so great to hear from you. I have really missed you. I so enjoy your blog postings and seeing your beautiful family. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas season. Hugs . . .
I’m still here! I love your outlook on life and all that you do share with us. I feel like I know you, even having never met you.
I too am a sensitive soul and constantly struggle with trying to put myself out there and take all these creative chances, but then I fear the unnecessary non-constructive commentary that exists. We can’t all be each other’s favorite people, but kindness should come first. I always liked the quote “be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”. Lots of happy thoughts being sent your way this holiday season!
it’s your big heart that makes your blog so real and so wonderful!
I’m not sure exactly how long I’ve been a follower but I think your twins were toddlers when I first started following. I don’t keep track of how much or how little you post. I just enjoy getting a glimpse of your sweet family when you do post. I have no reason to “unfollow” you. You have no reason to “apologize” to us for living life. I have a crew of my own and there is no way I could commit to scheduled blogging. We’re here when you want to post and it’s ok if that is once a year. Thanks for sharing the “Be that Person” clip as I had not seen it. So, here’s to us all being more of that person! Hoping your weeds get a little shorter during the holidays and you can truly enjoy the precious gifts that you’ve been blessed with.
Sorry to hear about the trolls. Anonymity makes the weak feel brave.
Glad to see you are climbing above it and will be back.
I’m still here and still loving your posts so please keep blogging! I love hearing your thoughts and about your family and any crafting – your blog posts always make me think and feel and I love that! Ignore anyone who can’t be nice – they aren’t worth it.
Still here and I think that you are amazing. You should never feel bad for having a big heart. Please ignore the nasty people. What they say only reflects on them, not you.
I’m happy you’ll be here. I’ll be here reading and cheering you on.
I’m still here checking almost everyday. I love reading your posts & watching your girls grow. I saw Italy through your eyes. I saw a world I would never have seen. You & your little chickies stole my heart when it was only Harper & Sadie, & you were trying to cope in Texas with Jimmy deployed. I laugh, I cry & I worry about you all. I’m lucky to consider you a friend & look forward to more posts. You are one of the most kind hearted loving people I know. I will never understand how people can attack you. Just remember we love you & ignore all the rest.
I have loved reading your posts all the way back before the twins. I love your honesty and heartfelt comments. You are right, when you put your heart out there you make yourself vulnerable….but that is what makes you! I admire your courage and individuality….and have missed your posts. Keep doing what you do because I love it!
I can’t like this post enough! I can totally relate to the video you shared and your message. It’s really hard when you put your authentic self out there for the world to see…especially online. I hope you know what a beautiful person you are…inside and out. Keep on being YOU. Ignore/delete/block all the haters. Ain’t nobody got time for that. SHINE ON YOU BEAUTIFUL SOUL!
Hi Steph!
I, too, get my feelings hurt so easily..I have loved reading your blog for years. I have checked and checked your site for the last few months and kept wondering where you were. So worried something had happened………
We can’t please everybody. We all know that and yet still try to do it, don’t we? I am so glad you are back!
Stephanie,
Words are pretty powerful and they can cut like a knife. I am so very sorry that someone used their words against you to cause you pain. People can be pretty careless and cruel (sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not) with their words and how they choose to use them or who they direct them at. I am so glad that you are back (when you have the time and energy) and will hopefully return that much stronger and more empowered.
Haters are going to hate. You can’t control how they react to you, but you can control how you react to them. You would not be human if you didn’t hurt as a result of their carelessness, but nothing incenses haters more than a total lack of acknowledgement.
I hope you know how much you are loved and respected. I first “met” you and your work via Studio Calico and have been an avid fan and supporter ever since. I love your candor and how freely you share your ideas and thoughts with us.
You are lovely inside and out and so is your family. I applaud you in taking the time to focus on you so that you can be there for those you love most (one of them being you!).
So good to have you back!!!
Maria ()”o)
Still here. Grateful for Bloglovin’. I thought you were just swamped considering that you now have five kids and managed to move back to the U.S. and that’s enough to cause anyone to stop blogging for a while. We can’t let the haters win.
Welcome back! I’ve been worried about you! I can’t stand mean people, I don’t get it other than they must be so unhappy they feel they have to tear down others they envy. Do what you LOVE and embrace that. I love your blog, enjoy the updates, but don’t do it for me, do it to feed your soul!
So glad to see you back! I have been reading since there were two little girls and while I miss the realness of your words, I understand how limited time must be in your house. I loved to read the travel/where you live stories! I have lived in Maryland since I was 5, so I find it fascinating all the places you get to make a home. And funny story, we just took a southern road trip and we spent 3 nights in Savannah. We were getting drinks one night before dinner -with our 3 littles- classy! 😉 -and saw Basil Lemonade on the menu. I almost screamed! I had one there and one for our walk and they were fantastic!
I hope there is a delete button for negative comments. I don’t understand why people take precious time and energy to hurt other peoples feelings.
Ahhhh girl, you’re the best – I’d love to see more of your honest blogging – so validating! True confessions….just the other day my husband was going through the Visa bill “what’s this $4.21 per month still doing on here? when’s the last time you blogged?” Ummmmm….
I’m so happy to see a new post from you. We’ve missed you! Glad you are back.
I can’t imagine what people would be saying. I’ve been following your blog since you lived in west Georgia (can’t remember the name of the base) & you seem like one of the most down to earth bloggers I follow.
I’m so happy to read so many positive and encouraging comments welcoming you back to the blogging world. I have missed keeping up with your beautiful family and look forward to reading your new posts. I have been following you since Harper was little and so admire your commitment to our country and family values. You are a very special person who has a great deal to offer others. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful holiday also.
So glad you are back! I thoroughly enjoy your blog, the pictures, the adventures, the planners, the art, the stories! You are real and I love that! Don’t stop writing. We love to hear from you!
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Hi Stephanie, I’m not sure if you remember me. I have followed you since your Studio Calico days. I’m from Ontario, Canada and I am 60 years old. My daughter is 36 and she knows you as my “Little Blogger Friend” for I am always chatting about you. Telling my husband I want to go to Italy, I want to try Processo or however you spell it. I bought my daughter a Kate Spade dress for Christmas … your influence. You helped me out when I got my first DSL camera many years ago. I got a Prime 50 mm lens cause of you. Which I love. So guess what I am saying is that I am so sorry to hear you’ve been hurt by your blog. That makes me sad. I have missed you but follow you on Instagram. I assumed you just didn’t have time for it, which I totally would expect ! I’m at that age now where children have become even more precious, and It warms my heart to see a young Mother love her girls with her whole being. I look forward to seeing you grow as they do. You’ve sugggested great books to read, you taught me how to scrapbook, I’ve made a recipe you posted. Just like a friend. And that’s how I think of you. So Welcome Back, write when you can. I’ll be here waiting.
I’m glad your bank. I miss hearing your stories and seeing those beautiful girls.
Loved and appreciated that video so much. Needed to hear that right now.
I’m glad to see you back in the blogging world! I’ve missed your posts. I’m built the same way as you; big heart with thin skin and it is really hard to shake off the negatives. Know that you are putting goodness and respect and real into the world with this blog and your posts. Welcome back!
I’m so glad you are gonna start blogging again! I’ve missed reading your posts. Even tho I still follow you on Instagram it’s not the same as an encouraging or inspirational blog post of yours! Reading your blog was like reading a page from a really really good book!!! Looking forward to your posts!
I think that your post was so timely. Here I was just a few weeks ago thinking how much I missed following your posts and your thoughts because they have always been such a bright spot for me. I slowly faded out and the next thing I know it has been ages since I read any of your entries. So to have just come back and see what has come your way just makes me want to give you a big old hug from up here in Canada! It is hard to ignore those negative voices because they are so loud sometimes. Thank goodness that they tend to be the few. Just know that you have a lot of people who really appreciate you. I know I have missed you terribly and hope to reconnect again. Maybe one day we will cross paths in real life and I would consider that an immense blessing. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx
I may not say anything different than what’s already been said, but I’ve missed you too, even though we’ve never met. You seem like a “friend” to me! 🙂 I truly think you are amazing! Thank you so much for all that you share! LOVE your perspective on so many things!! Remember People Are CRAZY! 🙁 I have to tell myself that some days! I just shake my head and wonder what makes people tick sometimes. So much hate and discontent. I’m sorry you were hurt, it makes my heart hurt for you. Protect yourself however you need to. I will be here when (if) you want to write!
So great to have you back Stephanie….welcome “home”, we’ve missed you x
Glad you’re back Stephanie and by the way I have thin skin too! xoxo
Thank you so much, Debbie. xoxo
I am so glad you are coming back. I have been reading your blog for years. I a.m sorry there are mean people in the world that like to ruin good things and break people. This hurts my heart. I know we would be friends if we ever met. You have inspired me in so many ways, plus you book recommendations are always spot on.
I wish you a Merry Christmas and hope your holiday season is a very happy one.
Xo Missy
So good to see you back, I’ve missed your blog posts!!
i too have fallen out of the “scrabooking” realm. My kids have gotten older, it seems they need more time and attention as they hit grades 4 and 6. my son has also been diagnosed with a learning disorder. So I hear you about not having time to partake in our scrapbook passions. But i wanted you to know that by you sharing your world, your thoughts, your perspective….it has a positive effect on MANY people. And i believe it radiates out, like a ray of light bouncing off water droplets. Know that the people that are here, and have waited for you–are the ones that believe in you and will build you up, not tear you down. Thanks for coming back–I adore your blog. sending you love, hope, hugs and good karma from Eastern Canada.
xo
I’m so glad to ‘see’ you again. I’ve followed your blog since before your twins arrived and I admire you so much. You seem to deal with life with grace, faith, and humor.
If someone is being mean to you, please let me punch them! (ok not really…but I don’t mind using my teacher face and voice on them!).
Hang in there-you ARE the good in the world.
Yay! I check back every little bit to see if you posted. Happy that you’re back at it! Don’t let the mean girls get you down!
YAY! Happy New Year! Yes, I still have your blog bookmarked and love that you are back! Stay positive and just ignore the negativity. Easier said than done, I know❤️