need proof that i’m a tad awkward?
i offer you the following scenarios.
warning: i’ve probably told some of these before, but the dang mushy brain i’ve got these days makes it hard to know for sure.
1. when you drive onto hunter army airfield, the security guards check your ID and greet you with this saying.
“Rock of the Marne”. I’ll spare you a long, drawn out history lesson. If you are curious what it means, you can click on the name and you can read up.
in any event…
i can never tell what they are saying and i always forget what it is supposed to be.
one time i thought they were saying “ROCKIN MORNIN’!!”. and i thought it was cool that they were so excited.
but the best time?
is the time i thought the man said
“TOP OF THE MORNIN’ TO YA!”
so i replied
“and the top of the mornin’ to you, good sir!” (in a BAD irish accent) and did a little awkward half-bow and salute.
you should have seen jimmy’s face. i’m still laughing just to think about it.
awkward.
♡
2. i am always getting the words to songs wrong. always.
beast of burden by rolling stones? i thought it said “i’ll never be your big suburban”.
with our without you by U2? “we flow without you”.
awkward.
♡
3.in high school a friend told me that stop signs with white around them were “optional”.
i rolled through stop signs for days until i figured it out.
thanks chris waters.
awkward.
♡
4. when i entered the room on Chi Omega acceptance day, my name was announced. i was then supposed to gracefully descend three stairs.
i bet you see where this is going…
i fell down the stairs.
then got up and bowed.
awkward.
♡
5. I can do the robot and the Charleston like nobody’s business. my long limbs make this especially entertaining. and make jimmy especially embarrased for me.
awkward.
♡
6. in junior high louis macey asked me to “go with him”. i told him i needed to think it over. the truth? i didn’t know what it meant. i had to go home and ask my mom.
awkward.
♡
7. in fifth grade, sean mcbride kicked me in the shins on the way into class. i fell on the ground dramatically and moaned and cried.
the teacher? stepped over me and kept teaching.
awkward.
and with those seven stories, i don’t blame you if you never return here again.
🙂 🙂
xxo
s